FiL passed away this morning

So very sorry for the loss. At least you are able to take comfort in it being a peaceful end for him, and things will work out so you can be with your wife for the difficult journey to say goodbye. No one should have to make that flight alone, and she will draw strength and comfort from you being at her side.

I'm so sorry for your loss. xx

Sorry to hear about the loss of your father in law, safe journey back to America.

Fingers crossed - going to Liverpool tomorrow morning to sort out my passport, once thats in my hands in the afternoon, it'll be to find a wi-fi spot so I can submit my ESTA application, hopefully that gets approved immediately. Then we are booked in a Travellodge close to Manchester Airport for the night before a 9:30 flight to Newark, NJ. Then pick up hire car to drive down to southern NJ.
We have been offered a place to stay by the mother (who knew my FiL) of one of my wife's childhood friends who now lives in San Jose and we visited a couple of years ago.
We fly back on Tues. In retrospect we now are kicking ourselves for not just staying til Friday and having July 4th there and making more of a holiday but on monday night when frantically just looking for flights it just didn't dawn on us.
DW is at least looking forward to the warm weather out there and planning a day at the beach for Monday. The funeral service is on Saturday.

I'm not sure on the protocol for US funerals but I'm going with a white shirt and a black tie. My wife says I can be much less formal but to me that doesn't feel right.

Fingers crossed - going to Liverpool tomorrow morning to sort out my passport, once thats in my hands in the afternoon, it'll be to find a wi-fi spot so I can submit my ESTA application, hopefully that gets approved immediately. Then we are booked in a Travellodge close to Manchester Airport for the night before a 9:30 flight to Newark, NJ. Then pick up hire car to drive down to southern NJ.
We have been offered a place to stay by the mother (who knew my FiL) of one of my wife's childhood friends who now lives in San Jose and we visited a couple of years ago.
We fly back on Tues. In retrospect we now are kicking ourselves for not just staying til Friday and having July 4th there and making more of a holiday but on monday night when frantically just looking for flights it just didn't dawn on us.
DW is at least looking forward to the warm weather out there and planning a day at the beach for Monday. The funeral service is on Saturday.

I'm not sure on the protocol for US funerals but I'm going with a white shirt and a black tie. My wife says I can be much less formal but to me that doesn't feel right.

You'll be fine with white shirt and black tie, but yeah, don't worry about it at all. 

My dad passed away in November and we flew back for the funeral.  My hubby wore a dark shirt and trousers, no tie and was fine.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thanks all for your kind words, means a lot to both of us.

So sorry to hear this.  My sympathies to you both.

I don't think the black tie is done much in the US but, if it feels right to you, then go with it.

I'm not sure on the protocol for US funerals but I'm going with a white shirt and a black tie. My wife says I can be much less formal but to me that doesn't feel right.

You should wear what you feel comfortable in. You won't look out of place in what you suggested, but black ties are not required anymore (at least not in MA). As long as you're wearing some combo of trousers (business or dress), shirt and tie in conservative colors, you'll fit in

Sorry for your loss.

Safe travels.

I'm sorry for your loss, TykeMan and Mrs TykeMan. Hope everything gets sorted to get to where you need to go.

I'm with PP - wear what you'd be comfortable in.

Well, we are back. Got my passport sorted out ok. Geez it was warm in NJ and the humidity! I'd never been in Summer before, just Sept and Thanksgiving. The weather was glorious for the funeral and it was a lovely service and such a turnout for him. He was so well respected in the community.
DW was obviously upset but she pulled through ok and I had my moment when they'd chosen Abide With Me as one of the hymns and we had that at my dad's funeral. I was the only person in a black tie although my BiL is a minister so had his black shirt and dog collar on.

I was the only person in a black tie

Weird!  What on earth do American men wear to funerals, then?

Glad you're both back safely.

Weird!  What on earth do American men wear to funerals, then?

Glad you're both back safely.

At the funerals and wakes I've been to I've seen a lot of men where navy (or a darker blue), grey, plum and brown ties. As long as the color is subdued, no one will look twice. I get the impression that nowadays, it's more important to make an effort to look nice rather than follow the etiquette on appropriate colors. The same goes for women.

I know people who have gone to funerals where they were specifically asked not to wear black. So, I think that protocol on what to wear to funerals has changed in the US.

Not many were wearing a tie. Partly down to temps in the 90's I guess, but I was fine in a short sleeve smart shirt, trousers and black tie. A few of the cousins were in a suit with a plain tie. One thing DW suggested, was that fiL fave colour was orange, and I half joked about having an orange tie! But then we thought a black and orange combination would be a bit too "halloween"!