If you met online......did you....

I just wanted to post this question for those of you who met online. First off, for the gals, did you go see him first or did he come see you first? And when you did meet, did you or he stay in a hotel or did you host the other person in your home?  Just figuring out the bits as my friend will be coming to visit in October and have not yet ironed out if he will stay at my place or a hotel.

My hubs and I met online, but we lived in the same city at the time.
More relavent to your question, though: I met a boy long ago online [way before facebook or dating sites] who eventually came to see me in person.  We had chatted an entire summer, and then I agreed to get him from the airport and take him down to the college we were both attending for the fall term. We stopped on the way at my Grandmother's to spend the night [the airport was a good 3-4 hours from our University], and not only did we share a room, but a bed [although a HUGE king sized bed].  We went on to date seriously, move in together, and eventually start to plan on getting married before he revealed to me, quite accidentally, that he was completely homophobic.  As a girl with many close friends, cousins, a BROTHER, and a SISTER who are all Gay, that was a deal breaker, obviously. 

So the moral of this story is, Yes: I think it will be fine and you can stay together PROVIDED you feel you know them really well and you trust them. It worked out fine in my situation and if I was also a bigot, I'd probably be happily married to that guy! It does take a bit of a leap of faith, but I say stay together.  Just be prepared for it to be awkward, maybe.  When I met my hubs [after only knowing him online for a week or two], it was very awkward, but after our second date we were thick as thieves and we still don't like to be apart for more than a day--even after 7 years!

Good Luck!

I went to visit him twice and he never came to visit me. That was because he has his own flat and I was living at the time with my mother and grandmother. It made more sense and saved us money for me to come over here. We stayed in a hotel the first 3 nights after meeting then at his place.

He flew to me first  And we stayed at a B&B one week in western NH and a hotel in Northern NH the second week. 

We sort of met online.  We were 'introduced' by a mutual, real-life friend (God bless study abroad programs!), and started chatting.  We hit it off right away, but for various reasons, it was over a year before we started getting couple-y, and several months after that before our first visit.

When we finally met in person, I flew to see him, and stayed at his place.  There were pretty solid practical reasons for that.  My schedule and finances made it much easier for me to come to him.  Also, he hates to fly.  As for staying at the house, there's very little choice of accommodation out here, and safety-wise, his parents were there as well.  Plus, as I said, we'd known each other for quite a while by then, and he came with references.

In our case, it was the right decision, and worked out nicely, but every situation is different.  I think it's perfectly reasonable to have someone stay in a hotel, especially on the first visit.

I went to see him. He has a son in school that he had full custody of and is self-employed from home. So it was much easier for me to come, as I wasn't working at the time (recovering from an accident).  I stayed at his house. We had been communicating via email and phone (at least 2 hours every day) for three years, so it was very natural for me to stay with him. I did have the option of staying in the spare bedroom if I chose to do so, which I didn't.

I met my fiance' online. Him and his mum met me at the airport, and I stayed at his flat, shared a bed first night. I look back now and think damn, that was risky. We had cammed and I knew him from online all the way back in 01-02 but still crazy that at 21, I flew across the pond with just a suitcase and a return ticket with no idea who I was really staying with (I mean do you ever really *know* some one from online?) It worked out great though

My story's a bit different as I wasn't coming to see him per se, so there wasn't any pressure of where to stay. I had a 2 week trip to the UK planned and my online friend offered me a bed to crash for a few days until I got over my jet lag. It was only meant to be a 3 day thing, and as we were only friends, he very properly offered me his room and he took the sofa. When it became apparent there was a romantic connection, that changed accordingly.

He came to see me first, and stayed at my place.  We are both really practical people, though, so we had a Plan B lined up.  We acknowledged before he came that there was a small chance we might not hit it off as great in person, so I had a friend who worked at a local hotel keep a room reserved.  We agreed that if either of us wasn't comfortable with him staying at my place, he had the hotel room and we could still be friends and do the fun tourist-y stuff.  Thankfully, the second option wasn't needed

Hubby and I met online and after a year of emails, webcams etc I did the totally out of character thing and flew over to the US, having never been before, to meet him. We treated it as a holiday and booked into a cabin by a lake. We stayed at his a couple of nights (he lived with and cared for his parents) and even though I was in my 30s and he in his 40s his parents were quite religious so when we stayed there we had separate rooms...

I've not been in this particular situation, but I'm sure if it were me and I met someone online in another country, I would have booked a hotel room for myself, as a personal preference, as a base for myself and also in case "it doesn't work out" .  Nothing says you can't both be in the hotel room or at their place if the occasion arises 

We met online, and were friends about a year before it started getting serious. Then we talked on the phone and online for another  1 1/2 years before meeting. By then we were certain it was going to be certain. It worked out that I flew to him first and stayed at his place for the first visit. Things went swimmingly, and a couple months later he flew here so we could be married.

I really appreciate everyone for giving their stories. I think we will sort of play it by ear. When he gets here we can visit around a bit and if everything seems good I will let him stay at my place. And if not, there are plenty of hotel rooms available. I am 39 and he is in his 40s.....its not our first time around the block, per say.  I just wanted to hear the good and bad sides of the experience. Thanks all!

We met online, and within two months of talking I booked a flight to see him. I stayed in a hotel, as it felt safer to me.

Each instance is different, so it is best to play it by ear, as you mentioned. As you also said, it isn't your first time around the block. Hubby and I met when we were in our early 30's, and I felt our ages and the fact we had both been in long term relationships (but neither married) before gave us a bit of perspective we might not have had at a younger age.

Still, it never hurts to keep your eyes as wide open as your heart, and go with instinct.