Setting people straight on the train

Today my husband and I, along with two friends from Canada, rode the train to York. Sat behind us were 3 older people - 2 men and 1 woman. They were *very* loud and we could all hear every word of their conversation crystal-clear above the noise of the train.

They were talking about travel, and how they were NOT looking forward to their upcoming trip to Australia to visit family, and that it would be "ten days of hell dealing with Australians". My Canadian friend, who spent an amazing year in Australia, sat there with her mouth open.  The couple then told their companion that "the States aren't any better" and that they are always "treated like crap" when they go there. They said that Americans and Australians never say "please" and "thank you".  They went on further to say that "Philadelphia is the worst. Our son is always questioned and treated rudely in Philadelphia. Those people are awful!"

Wellllllllllllllllllllll............

I couldn't help myself. I turned, smiled and said very nicely, "Philadelphians are wonderful people."  The man said, "Oh! Ummm....are you from Philadelphia?" I said, "Yes, I am. I was born and lived there for 32 years. Generally people are polite, say please and thank you, hold doors open for others and pick up their trash". (I said the last part because they had kicked a juice bottle and crisp bag under the seat in front of them.) He laughed, "Oh! Well, you must admit that American ARE kinda of, um...louder than other people."  Hubby, my friends and I all cracked up, as these people were so incredibly loud and obnoxious and they are calling Americans loud! I said, "*Americans* are loud?  Really? Louder than you?"  I just couldn't help myself. They looked at me confused and I turned around.

I turned back and said, "Oh! I was also treated "rudely" and questioned in Manchester Airport. Immigration can be tough all over, no matter what country you visit. You get what you give, however. If you are quiet and polite to others, they will also be to you."

Now I know these people were my "elders" but I was a bit surprised at their comments and just felt the need to say something. Maybe I was wrong, but also maybe they won't be so quick to spout off such nonsense in public.

Sometimes it is impossible to keep quiet when people are doing the 'all Americans are....' or 'Americans never....' routine. When I would talk to people after they said one of their anti American statements, I would generally find out they based their information on one of four things:

1. One incident from one person or place while on holiday.

2. A friend or family member related an incident with one person or place while on holiday.

3. American politicians.

4. My fave of them all. Something an American said or did on a film or tv show.

I'd have to ask, because I couldn't help myself, if they would be outraged if an American lumped all Brits into one category because of one person. They invariably said they would.

Fallgal, that is awesome, glad you set them straight!  And about Philly people as well!

I'm probably going to be the only one to disagree here. Yes, they were being loud and rude, but it's not our place to "set people straight" when we're not part of the conversation. If they had been talking to you, that would have been a different story. But in this instance, I think what you said could also be construed as rude. If a complete stranger whom I wasn't even talking to commented on my conversation (particularly if they took it upon themselves to "set me straight"), I'd be more than a little taken aback!

Sorry. 

TamaMoo- agreed on all your points!

Andee - thank you!

Chary - I did say "maybe I was wrong" in what I did. However, if I were black, and they said, "Black people are the worst/are awful!", would you expect me to say nothing? (Not being argumentative, just putting another example out there.) When people are spreading hate/ignorance/prejudice, I do think people have to speak up. What is that saying about good people being part of the problem when they stand around and say/do nothing?

There were certainly other people on the train who overheard them (how could they not?) So all those people might think, "Australia is hell on earth. The people are not polite. Neither are Americans and Philadelphians the worst of the lot."  Like TamaMoo's point #2, this is how these misconceptions spread.

Rude or not, you go girl! 

However, if I were black, and they said, "Black people are the worst/are awful!", would you expect me to say nothing?

I suppose I don't see it as the same thing at all. There's no history of persecution of Philadelphians as far as I know! 

No, that is very true! But it is still spreading ignorance and grouping people together based on a single (or even a few) experiences.  Just one of those things that stick in my crawl, I guess.

When I first saw this thread, I thought it was going to be about proper posture while sitting on a train! Like maybe somebody had their feet on the seats or something & had to be told... 

I suppose I don't see it as the same thing at all. There's no history of persecution of Philadelphians as far as I know! 

Yes there is!  It goes *way* back--all the way to Winston Churchill whose famous sarcastic quote 'I'd rather be in Philadelphia' has put us Philly people on the defensive ever since! 

My reaction to stuff like that if I'm with someone is just to start a conversation so they can hear!
But reminds me of when a new guy had moved into our team at work (from another area so he knew most people). Anyway he started on with some rant about Americans (can't remember why), and 2 of my co-workers just kept looking at me, wondering at what point I might just step in. Eventually I just said "Dave, can I just point out before you go any further, that my wife is American" At that he just quickly backtracked and made a joke about it, he was fine from then on.

My reaction to stuff like that if I'm with someone is just to start a conversation so they can hear!
But reminds me of when a new guy had moved into our team at work (from another area so he knew most people). Anyway he started on with some rant about Americans (can't remember why), and 2 of my co-workers just kept looking at me, wondering at what point I might just step in. Eventually I just said "Dave, can I just point out before you go any further, that my wife is American" At that he just quickly backtracked and made a joke about it, he was fine from then on.

I had a similar thing at my last job.  I was talking with one of the supervisors and he mentioned another girl working was Canadian.  I said I had thought she was either American or Canadian, but hadn't had a chance to ask her.... he said something along the lines of 'ohhh.... be careful with that!  You wouldn't want to mistake a Canadian for an AMERICAN!'   

I said that growing up near the border, I understood but we are neighbours, so it's easy to mistake Americans for Canadians.  He timidly asked where I was from and when I told him I was American, he seemed really embarrassed and said he hoped he hadn't offended me.     I said he hadn't (I was a bit annoyed but not offended...), but he always seemed a bit awkward and not as chatty with me after that..... not sure if it was because of his comment or because he now knew I was American!   

But reminds me of when a new guy had moved into our team at work (from another area so he knew most people). Anyway he started on with some rant about Americans (can't remember why), and 2 of my co-workers just kept looking at me, wondering at what point I might just step in. Eventually I just said "Dave, can I just point out before you go any further, that my wife is American" At that he just quickly backtracked and made a joke about it, he was fine from then on.

But you knew him. That's completely different from interrupting and correcting perfect strangers.

I think it's a difficult call between feeling the need to "defend" oneself in the face of perceived insult, and realising that most people, faced with a public dressing down, will not "learn" anything from it. If they ever do learn, it will be through their own experience.

Ignorance is universal. We are all ignorant about something. But I can't imagine approaching someone I didn't know in a public space to air my difference of opinion. I know that I have probably been (in a stranger's eyes) an ass in public before and I am guessing I will be again (to someone). But I think if they called me out in public, I would be defensive and closed to what they were saying, at least initially.