Anyone moved from USA to UK and Regret doing it 2013 ?

Just coming to a stage after 7.5 years me and my Fiancé' are going to sit down and chat will she leave Texas, US and move to the UK with me or shall I pack up and leave the UK and move to Texas?

I understand at the age of 52 is not as easy as mid 20's and curious are there any left the US and now Regret moving to the UK due to the way the UK is going down hill related to Government changes ?

Hello Felix!

I am sorry to say that although I am not someone who has moved from the USA to the UK recently and regretted my decision, I couldn't help but want to learn more about why you are unhappy with the current situation in the UK.

I moved from Houston, Texas to England in 1995 while in my mid-20's. It was nice living there because it was a new relationship, we started our family and husband's career took off and we lived very well. Unfortunately, my husband was affected by the telecoms crash of 2000 and we found ourselves defeated by bankruptcy, loss of self-esteem and back to Texas in 2004 with only US$76 in my pocket, a husband and three kids.

It has been a very long nine years trying to get back on our feet and I will admit that although my husband is doing much better and still in the telecoms sector, our lives here are not as happy as we know it can be. We choose to call it "disappointment with the government changes" in the US and are keen to return to England where my husband also says, "better the devil you know..."

We are now 43 and 44 and with one adult child (with a child of his own) who obviously would not come along if we decide to leave for England (plus, he is not a UK citizen) and our two children who have lived here for nearly ten years who are settled where we live. It is a difficult decision to get up and go and start over, yet again or to stay put and make the best of the situation. I was initially excited to be back to the US when I returned over nine years ago but little by little, I have come to regret leaving the UK because I just don't like how different my country is in comparison to the way I had left it all those years ago. I have family members back in England telling me that life in Britain is "getting worse and worse" and that there's an under-lying tension and general disillusionment that has been building up since we left there in 2004. My husband jokes that the common denominator of the "disappointment" is us. I wonder if there may be some truth in it because I believe that you find what you seek. I feel disappointment and I find it wherever I turn.

I realize that my husband is right with "the better the devil you know". I already know just how challenging it is to be in England and I focus on the positives such as my children being with their grandparents (my parents passed away some time ago), a change of scenery, etc... I think it works because I already know what I am getting into with that move. When I think about staying here in the US, the only positive I have is being near my oldest child and his daughter but apart from that, there's nothing else to keep me here. I am a very proud Texan but more and more my state is changing and in my eyes, not for the better. I feel what my family back in England said about an under-lying tension. It's hard for me to bear.

I agree that these decisions are much harder when you're older. I guess it's because it isn't just a hard decision but there's maybe more at stake or we just start getting stuck in our ways. It's really a b**** to grow up and older, isn't it?!  I will get all freaked out about this and in the very next second, I will think, "Hey! We are only 43 & 44 and we are tough. If it doesn't work out, we come back and start it all over again!" At one point, we will get it right. Btw, you're only 52 Felix...

Hi Felix,

DH & I met when we were in our 20s and he was working in the US for a Brit company. We lost touch for 20 years and had other 'lives', but reconnected when he was 52 and I was 45. We got married, and I moved to the UK. We were very happy there and had a nice life until problems arose with his adult son. They had a business together, started with DH's money, but DH had always given the son free rein, on the assumption that 'we only take what we need' from the business.

Long story short, son decided he was entitled to, and needed, all of it, and set about making DH's life a misery. DH sold his "half" but son stopped paying after a few months. So, we took what little money we had, sold the house, paid off the mortgage and went to the US where I could work. And work I did, with no holidays, and many 18-hour days for the next 11 years.

Fast forward - I missed the UK more than he did, and the health care issue was a huge problem for us in the US. DH worked until he was 70, mostly for the health insurance. We wanted to return here for many reasons, and did in 2011. I retired at 65 in 2012 (a year early) so my SS is reduced, but still a reasonable amount. DH has a small SS benefit plus his UK state pension, which is tiny because he worked abroad so much.

Our life here is good. We are comfortable, but not rich. We walk everywhere we can, and don't eat out by choice. DH mumbles about England going to the dogs, but he wants to return to the gentle life he knew as a kid in the 50's and as a young man in the 60's....and he hates change, any change. I see changes, and I accept the UK for what it is, and while I disagree with many things that have and are happening, I also recognize that all was not well for a good many people 40-50 years ago.

Problems are everywhere; some the same, some different. Here people want to blame 'the government' for everything, even obesity. In the US, I think we like to blame the government, but not to the same extent...mostly we blame the political party that we don't support.

I look forward, DH looks backward. Now that we are here, he also wants to blame the US for starting every conflict in the universe, and is convinced the US and the UK desperately want to start WWIII. Usually I don't rise to the bait when he tries to start these conversations, because I love him, and he really is a good person. I'm mentioning this only because it's an example of how folks view life. Look for the negative and you will surely find it, and will be blind to all the positives.

Look at things as logically as you can, given your age, job prospects, health issues (if any) and most importantly, where your heart tells you that you need to be. It has to be right for both of you. BUT - never forget that you are entitled to change your mind if it doesn't work.

Do I regret moving back? Not one bit. Does DH regret moving back? Not one bit, despite all his mumblings about "England is finished".

And don't listen to all the doom and gloom - some of the prime instigators are just miserable folks who want you and I to be as miserable as they are, IMHO. That applies to both sides of the pond.

Whatever your decision, good luck!

I am 42, and came over two years ago to be with my husband. I regret moving here because:

I'll never have a house as big as the one I left behind and I'll never be able to afford a house here. Because we'll never own a place we'll never have pets or pictures on the wall or just that nice settled feeling of home.

I don't earn as much as I did before, and my US experience is often scoffed at, so it doesn't seem likely that my earnings drop will recover too quickly.

While I love public transport and walking, I liked it a lot better when it was a choice. I miss the freedom of getting in a car.

I miss affordable, good quality clothes and household goods.

In short, I think my standard of living has declined dramatically. But it has only been two years and I do live in London, so maybe it gets better?

I think this question probably depends on the person and on the day.

I think this question probably depends on the person and on the day.

Yep, and where they came from and where they moved to, what they did for a living in the US and what they do here, what kind of house they had in the US and what they have here, what your partner does, etc etc etc.... How long is a piece of string?  

When I moved here, I moved here with intentions it was for good. I struggled with some things the first 2-3 years, but I found that comparing (and looking back) wasn't helpful to my getting on with my life here and looking forward.

I'm not at all sorry I moved here - my life here is far better than the life I had in the US. As with everything, your mileage may vary!  

Myself, I would *never* want to go back to being without a national health service, or not having the number of annual leave days (even the minimum statutory amount) that we have here! 

You will find people who regret moving to the UK from the US.  You will find people who regret moving to the US from the UK.  Kind of like cars or airlines.  Someone may be a big fan of a particular car manufacturer or airline but someone else will have a horror story.

I have been in the UK for 3 years now.  I struggled for the first 2 years but since I realized I needed to focus on moving forward, I have been MUCH happier.  I don't have the number of friends I had in the US or even a few close friends, but I can't focus on that.  I just have to be happy with what I do have and grow from here.

Salaries are less here and the cost of living is higher.... but those things don't determine my quality of life. (Please no one take offense, I know that is very important for many, including my husband... just not for me).   For me, my quality of life has "suffered" as I'm not able to see my family as frequently.

Many Thanks everyone for your replies and your views on the UK at present.
I Love my Fiancé' and whatever I will move to be with her but I am not looking to live comfortably just knowing where we can both cope the best financially.

I do understand the amount of states in US life in one is entirely different than others, My Fiancé' lives in Texas North of Dallas and has no public transport, I read that Texas is suppose to be doing well due to employment but once again Texas is approx. 3 times the size of the UK alone.

if I was 20 - 40 I would not think twice as my opportunities of finding employment is much better, mind you that is how things are in the UK as employment is poor. All my life I suffered from Epilepsy so being here in Texas there is no public transport to rely on and chances of a driving license is not great, if I do not get a driving license getting back and for to work can be difficult.

Where as in the UK I have Disability payment but the Government is Destroying that for many genuine disabled some uncapable of work and loosing their support.
My Fiancé' health is not great as she suffered with hepatitis for many years and gone through chemotherapy for 8 months her immune system is now very low and every couple of weeks she comes down with something or another, and the amount of time she has to take off work, I worry she will not be able to keep going like this and if someone knows I have epilepsy they will not employ me neither which leaves us with no income coming in.

Three years ago in the UK everything was fine no worry of loosing your support, but now if you move from the US to UK and have your health and a good job you have no worries and vice versa.

I have no family in the UK but my Fiance' still has her mother and family here in Texas even though she dislikes the extreme heat and spring time thunderstorms along with tornados with her health insurance and medical costs on top drives you into debt....

Sunday we have plans to make a decision of who is going to move where !
I do not care where we are as long as we are both happy and can cope financially !

 

Based on what you have described, I think you would find the US hard going - without good public transport where you are looking to go. Also, it is just my opinion but I think it's harder to be disabled & ill in the US. The UK's safety nets may be getting more tenuous, but I believe they are still more wide ranging than that available in the US - plus there's the NHS here. As much as ACA is at least a step forward in the US, it's really more insurance reform (IMO) than it is a national health service. Hopefully, some of the things the UK government is trying to do here in taking away disability payments from people (and the shambles that is the Universal Credit scheme) will be deemed illegal & eventually overturned. Good luck to you both, felix! 

Based on what you have described, I think you would find the US hard going - without good public transport where you are looking to go. Also, it is just my opinion but I think it's harder to be disabled & ill in the US. The UK's safety nets may be getting more tenuous, but I believe they are still more wide ranging than that available in the US - plus there's the NHS here. As much as ACA is at least a step forward in the US, it's really more insurance reform (IMO) than it is a national health service. Hopefully, some of the things the UK government is trying to do here in taking away disability payments from people (and the shambles that is the Universal Credit scheme) will be deemed illegal & eventually overturned. Good luck to you both, felix! 

Felix, I agree completely with Mrs. Robinson.

I married and moved to the uk in 2010 at the age of 51.......If I could go back and change it.....I surely would........regret it......well I don't regret being able to spend some time in England and travel around Europe some........its been a learning experience for sure........plus it really has made me appreciate so many little things in life that we seem to take advantage of.........as in crickets chirping at night and massive thunderstorms.....sunshine and warmth......hummingbirds.....big ole health food stores.....along with countless many other things...........but I have experienced history at its finest.......I mean those national trust homes are to die for.........I will have to agree with others in saying that so much depends upon what life you have in the usa and what life you will have here..........im a simple ole country gal born and raised in traditional southern ways.......I like simple country living........well I now live in this big ole Birmingham with traffic, noise, trash all over the place......ive never seen anything like this..........so ive been completely removed from what ive always known.........I mean Saturdays are meant for mud bogging at the river, roasting hot dogs, and sipping on a jar of shine.....so you see I was tossed into a fire pit and left to burn.......different circumstances I may would have come to love being here........who knows........but the one thing I can say is that no matter what any of us tell you.......there is no way to know until you do it........my strongest suggestion is not to sell everything that is owned in states......rent out the house and store the automobiles.......put all else in storage......until yall know for certain that the uk is the place for yall.....if youre in a position to do a living in both places I would definitely suggest that route.....I wish you both all the best

I mean Saturdays are meant for mud bogging at the river, roasting hot dogs, and sipping on a jar of shine

We used to all get together and go tubing down the creek. Keg of beer in an old tractor inner tube. John Cougar on the boombox....little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane...

Hate the heat now though...

We used to all get together and go tubing down the creek. Keg of beer in an old tractor inner tube. John Cougar on the boombox....little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane...

Hate the heat now though...

omg I love tubing and I love john cougar........the good days I tell you............oh I love the warmth............I just got back from florida......90 degrees

Abraham Lincoln has been credited with saying that "most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be". Trite as it is, I believe that.

But given your specific situation, it's far more complicated, and not simply a matter of "where would I prefer to live" or "which place is better". With a chronic condition (epilepsy) and no drivers license, your job prospects in the US are very limited, and you have to consider that for your fiance's sake as well as your own.

No question that the safety net herein the UK  is much broader. Even with a good job and good health in the US your world can be turned upside down in a flash by an accident, or a company that suddenly goes bust. Life for the poor in the US is not so great.

Good luck.

No question that the safety net herein the UK  is much broader. Even with a good job and good health in the US your world can be turned upside down in a flash by an accident, or a company that suddenly goes bust. Life for the poor in the US is not so great.

Good luck.

Yes, especially in Texas.  A family of 3 making more than $188 a month is ineligible for Medicaid.  When I was unemployed, I was able to get my daughter onto CHIP, and the school breakfast/lunch program, but qualified for no help for myself. 

When the school-meal program signup time came around again, I reported that I was working temp and making $9 per hour.  My daughter was dumped from the program, because we were "too wealthy" to qualify.  My unemployment check made me, as a single person, "too rich" to qualify for Medicaid.  Being laid off with a car less than 5 years old (no mass transit in the area), meant we didn't qualify for food stamps either.

Because I had no access to dental care, I'm paying for it now--quite literally.  If I can keep my job and benefits for another 5 years or so, I can get it all done.  What I need costs $5000-$7000.  My dental insurance pays percentages of everything, up to $1500 a year.   I need 2 bone grafts, 2 new crowns and an bridge, and other things will probably need to be handled as well.   Texas is no place to be unemployed or disabled. 

I live about an hour north of Houston right now, and lived 30 minutes from it at the time.  I think my experience could reasonably be compared to someone in the Dallas area, except I think Dallas has more mass transit than Houston.