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Topic: Just venting...  (Read 1625 times)

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Just venting...
« on: December 13, 2013, 05:24:06 PM »
Today at work, my boss made a comment that made me want to scream.She was talking nicely at first, about how great Skype is. Then, she asked me nicely how often my boyfriend and I Skype. I said that we use a different messenger service for our video calls, but that we talk this way for a few hours every night. This is when my boss seemed to suddenly change. Suddenly, it wasn't a nice chat anymore; as she said, in a tone that even my coworker thought was mean and cold, "so how long is this going to go on? Seeing each other for a few weeks twice a year?!"

I shrugged and replied that I didn't know, and that we were just taking each day as it comes, with no concrete plan. (Sure, we have been making plans, but I am not saying anything until I know for sure.) At this, my boss rolled her eyes and said "you're getting a little old for this kind of relationship."

If I didn't need the money, I would have quit on the spot.

As for now, I am incredibly hurt and sad by her comments.

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Re: Just venting...
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2013, 06:43:21 PM »
Well that certainly wasn't very nice!  Try to not let it get to you.  Only you and your boyfriend know what your relationship is like and if you are both happy, why does she care?  Ignore it as best as you can. 

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Re: Just venting...
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2013, 07:28:57 PM »
Ugh, that really was unkind.  Perhaps your boss has some personal issues that made her feel better to belittle your perfectly valid relationship....or perhaps she's just snotty.  Be a tree & blow in the wind....try to shake it off.  Glad you vented~
Jan 2012  >  stars aligned & we met online
Feb 2012 - May 2013  >  lots of back & forth 
May 2013  >  biometrics & fiancé application
Jun 2013  >  fiancé visa approved (5 wk process w/o priority)
Oct 2013  >  married in the Peak District
Nov 2013 > FLR(M) approved (Croydon PEO)
Apr 2016 > FLR(M) approved (Croydon PEO)

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Re: Just venting...
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2013, 05:59:26 AM »
:-( People who are not in this type of situation have no idea what it is like! My husband and I have said many times..."we are the only people we know who are in this position, there is no book on this" just keep your head held high...envision the finish line. Keep your chin up! ;) ;)
Met-Jun 29th 2008
Married-Nov 2 2013
Application sent-Dec 13th 2013
Decision Email- Dec 23rd 2013
Received Visa-Dec 26th 2013
Move date- Jan 20th 2014

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Re: Just venting...
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2013, 10:59:48 PM »
Wonder what her situation is like then.  Sounds to me like there is perhaps a bit of jealousy or something underlying all this - that you have someone who cares enough about you to want to spend time together on the computer every night and just talk.  Or that with your type of relationship you have to put the time in to keep it going and you usually have to be pretty compatible people in the first place.  And then there is the foreign thing which can look glamorous on the outside and not run of the mill.  Definitely something to shake off - what business is it of hers anyway! :)

While its true that eventually there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel one way or another, there are no rules as to how you get to the end or an exact timeline. So long as it is working for you now and you have plans, then keep on going!

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Re: Just venting...
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2013, 09:26:54 AM »
This was shared with me a few days ago: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/12/study-long-distance-relationships-can-work/282317/

Specifically "What’s more, greater distance apart actually predicted more intimacy, communication, and satisfaction in the relationship."

So don't let her rude, uncalled for comments get to you. Relish in the fact that you have a happy loving relationship that even if there's not a certain end date to being apart yet when it does come you will have the happier, stronger relationship for the trials you've already had to put up with.

And best wishes for the future...I remember how hard the apart years were, but they were so worth it for being together now!

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