Hello
Guest

Sponsored Links


Topic: The Distance is Getting to Meee!! help..  (Read 2251 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

  • *
  • Posts: 31

  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Dec 2013
The Distance is Getting to Meee!! help..
« on: January 05, 2014, 12:26:02 AM »
Just this week i have now been speaking to my current (LDR) girlfriend for 3 months. She's in the UK and i'm in the US. We litterally have talked non-stop everyday for the entire 3 months. I have never talked to anyone in my entire life this much. We can speak all day without ever getting bored.
 
 We can't get enough of one another. We both truley belive we are right for eachother, and we both want to be married someday. Some of you might say 3 months is not long enough but really, there is no time frame to being close to someone. If you know you know. We hit it off from the day we started talking. And we both are so close right now, i can't even imagine myself with someone else.

 One of our main issues is that when i have to go places and can't text her she gets really lonely and upset, then my chest starts to feel funny. Like a burning and warm sensation. Never had this feeling before for anyone else so it's new to me. I woudln't explain it as a bad feeling, but at the sametime all i wanna do is get back home to talk to her. And this feeling does not stop until i start talking to her again. And it's the same for me when she's busy.

  I really feel like i'm addicted to her as i would be a drug. When we're apart my chest always burns!!!! Today i was really down because she has been working and busy all day, so we haven't really talked that much. She went to sleep today without even saying a good night.. so i'm just feeling upset right now. I'm probally over thinking it but whatever.

 A little background on our situation... Right now she's in college. We have plans to see eachother 6 months from now. That's when the school year is over and she will be free to do things with me. 6 month is a really long ass time, and i just feel so sad knowing how long i have to wait for her. Now i'm not saying i will ever give up but lately i have been having a hard time coping with this. I feel so sad just because i can't go see her. Sometimes she tells me how loney she is and i can't bare it. I wanna be with her so bad!!!!


  • *
  • Posts: 294

  • Amor Vincit Omnia
  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: May 2011
  • Location: Chicago to Bristol UK
Re: The Distance is Getting to Meee!! help..
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2014, 05:05:09 PM »
Hi there

Welcome to the World of LDR's. Love really is a drug, and a word of advice, be careful with overthinking, it can really mess with your head. I been with my fiance' nearly 3yrs doing the Long distance thing, I most likely won't see him till We apply for the fiance' visa, sometime this spring pending everything goes right, it'll be a year since my last visit there. So I do understand what you're going thru. Have you thought about joining a LDR blogging community? Tumblr has tons of pages dedicated to supporting those in LDR's. Just a suggestion.

Have you thought of planning a small trip during one of her school breaks? a week isn't a ton of time to see each other but it's something.

Anyways if you need to talk, PM me anytime. Meanwhile, Welcome to UKY :)
Met online: 2001
Lost contact: 2005-2010
Found me on Facebook: 12-26-10
Officially dating: 4-9-11
Met in person: 5-5-11 *stayed 3wks in UK*
Met 2nd time: 9-29-11 *stayed 2wks*
Proposed: 10-9
3rd visit: 5-27-12 *3wk stay*
4th visit: 3-28-13 *3wk stay*
5th Visit: 05-13 to 11-3 2014
Fiance' Visa: 2015


  • *
  • Posts: 158

  • Liked: 3
  • Joined: Apr 2013
Re: The Distance is Getting to Meee!! help..
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2014, 07:09:19 PM »
 
 We can't get enough of one another. We both truley belive we are right for eachother, and we both want to be married someday. Some of you might say 3 months is not long enough but really, there is no time frame to being close to someone. If you know you know. We hit it off from the day we started talking. And we both are so close right now, i can't even imagine myself with someone else.


That could have been written by either my fiance or myself just 2 months into our LDR.  We would spend hours on Skype and it was never enough. I made my first visit of 6 weeks last February, my second visit of 3 months last summer, and have now moved over.  We marry in 2 weeks time.

Hang in there.  It's tough, but so many of us have done it and survived with a fairy tale ending.  You're right "if you know, you know."
13 Aug 13 Fiancé visa application submitted online
  2 Oct 13 Visa received via UPS
29 Oct 13 Arrived in the UK!
20 Jan 14 Ring-a-Ding Ding!
18 Feb 14 FLR(M) submitted via post
26 Feb 14 Biometrics submitted at Post Office
  7 Apr 14 Biometrics Residence Permit approval notification letter & card arrive (separately) via signed post
16 Sept 16 2nd FLR(M) Approved in-person in Sheffield
21 Aug 18  Passed LIUK
5 Mar 19 Applied IRL; 18 Mar 19 priority appt in NCL; 19 Mar 19 ILR granted; 21 Mar 19 DX delivery of BRP


  • *
  • Posts: 31

  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Dec 2013
Re: The Distance is Getting to Meee!! help..
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2014, 09:13:12 PM »
That could have been written by either my fiance or myself just 2 months into our LDR.  We would spend hours on Skype and it was never enough. I made my first visit of 6 weeks last February, my second visit of 3 months last summer, and have now moved over.  We marry in 2 weeks time.

Hang in there.  It's tough, but so many of us have done it and survived with a fairy tale ending.  You're right "if you know, you know."

very touching story! Thanks for the share, you gave me more hope.
when I visit her 6 months from now I want to stay as long as I can. But I will not be able to stay in with her because she lives with her parents.

do you mind sending me a private message? I want some advice on visiting her and how I can stay for a longer period of time.


  • *
  • Posts: 970

  • Makeup Guru & Anglophile
  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Jul 2011
  • Location: London
Re: The Distance is Getting to Meee!! help..
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2014, 12:15:26 AM »
Welcome to the forum Sean!

Believe me, your situation is quite normal to this group of people. I agree with you when you say "when you know, you know!" My husband and I met at the 2012 Olympics and we knew instantly there was a spark. Once I returned from my European travels, we started emailing one another daily and Skyping frequently. After 2 trips and 6 months together, my husband proposed to me on a hot air balloon ride. 3 months later we decided to get married on one of his trips to the US last summer. We're now planning a wedding in London for June of this year. The hardest thing about our relationship is the distance.

It's never easy, but in the right relationship it shouldn't feel like work. Don't let the small things like her not saying good night to you here and there get to you. You guys are in different countries and time zones. You guys can't always reach one another 24/7. Believe me, I was just like you guys the first 2-4 months in and then our communication subsided a little- which in my opinion is a good thing. I'm happy we give one another space because when we do skype, call one another etc, we really appreciate each other that much more! :)
Met at 2012 London Olympics| Engagement 4-25-13| Married 7-30-13| Hired immigration lawyer 9-13 (waste of time)| Applied for Spousal Visa online 12-27-13| Biometrics completed 1-2-14| Spousal & dependent visas submitted 1-10-14| Application is being processed email 1-13-14| Decision has been made email 1-21-14| Received approved visas 1-24-14| Arrived in London 3-9-14 YAY!!


  • *
  • Posts: 3358

  • Liked: 8
  • Joined: Mar 2011
  • Location: IN to Blackburn to IN to KY
Re: The Distance is Getting to Meee!! help..
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2014, 01:34:02 AM »
I agree that you can't let little things like your beloved not saying goodnight, or needing time to be in class, work, with family, friends, etc, get to you. LDR is a challenge, no doubt, but just as with any relationship, you have to be a couple but still grow as individuals and keep your interests, hobbies, and relationships with family and friends. As time goes on, you learn to find a balance.

In the end, the time apart and all the waiting is worth it, when you find THE ONE. And of course it is natural to say when you know, you know. We were engaged before we met face to face. We just knew. We've been married 9 years, have lived in the US, then the UK and now back in the US, but we have never regretted the time it took to finally be together, and because of visa processing, have even had to spend time apart married, just a month or two here and there. All worth it.

Even if you can't have a long visit, short ones here and there until you can have a lengthy one are worth it, because it gives you time together.
“It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry.” Joe Moore

“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
― Dr. Seuss


  • *
  • Posts: 664

  • just a little whiterabbit
  • Liked: 4
  • Joined: May 2006
  • Location: USA
Re: The Distance is Getting to Meee!! help..
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2014, 02:51:51 PM »
My husband and I were the same - we knew we were in love before meeting face to face.  And we missed each other terribly when apart.

My experience was that I had a lot more anxiety about the relationship before the first face to face meeting.  Even though I felt I loved this man and he loved me, I worried about being caught up in a fantasy.  I don't know if it was because I am older than you (thus making me more cynical) or if it really was the personal knowledge of how relationships change over the years.  At any rate, I wasn't willing to invest a very long time in this relationship before actually meeting him.  I had to know if the voice on the phone was the real life man.  

I think you will feel a lot better after you meet her in real life.  The distance will still be hard, but you will know her better and trust your own feelings more.  My advice to you would be to go over as soon as you can, even if the visit is short.  In fact, the somber reality is that a first visit probably should be a short one - just in case things don't turn out to be what you think they are.  

People are intuitive and are usually right about how they feel.  I believe though that your head is telling you something that your heart cannot.  Listen to that.  Once your relationship is validated in real space and time, you will feel so much better.  

Get on that plane!  :)


  • *
  • Posts: 31

  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Dec 2013
Re: The Distance is Getting to Meee!! help..
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2014, 07:28:48 PM »
Hi there

Welcome to the World of LDR's. Love really is a drug, and a word of advice, be careful with overthinking, it can really mess with your head. I been with my fiance' nearly 3yrs doing the Long distance thing, I most likely won't see him till We apply for the fiance' visa, sometime this spring pending everything goes right, it'll be a year since my last visit there. So I do understand what you're going thru. Have you thought about joining a LDR blogging community? Tumblr has tons of pages dedicated to supporting those in LDR's. Just a suggestion.

Have you thought of planning a small trip during one of her school breaks? a week isn't a ton of time to see each other but it's something.

Anyways if you need to talk, PM me anytime. Meanwhile, Welcome to UKY :)

You are right, i think we both over think sometimes. This website has helped me learn a lot about LDR, it's my first one acutally. Thanks for the advice :)


  • *
  • Posts: 31

  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Dec 2013
Re: The Distance is Getting to Meee!! help..
« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2014, 07:37:21 PM »
Welcome to the forum Sean!

Believe me, your situation is quite normal to this group of people. I agree with you when you say "when you know, you know!" My husband and I met at the 2012 Olympics and we knew instantly there was a spark. Once I returned from my European travels, we started emailing one another daily and Skyping frequently. After 2 trips and 6 months together, my husband proposed to me on a hot air balloon ride. 3 months later we decided to get married on one of his trips to the US last summer. We're now planning a wedding in London for June of this year. The hardest thing about our relationship is the distance.

It's never easy, but in the right relationship it shouldn't feel like work. Don't let the small things like her not saying good night to you here and there get to you. You guys are in different countries and time zones. You guys can't always reach one another 24/7. Believe me, I was just like you guys the first 2-4 months in and then our communication subsided a little- which in my opinion is a good thing. I'm happy we give one another space because when we do skype, call one another etc, we really appreciate each other that much more! :)

Congragulations! hope all goes well with the wedding. Can't wait to have one of my own :) Thank you for taking the time to contibute to the post. Much appreciated!


  • *
  • Posts: 31

  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Dec 2013
Re: The Distance is Getting to Meee!! help..
« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2014, 07:38:48 PM »
I agree that you can't let little things like your beloved not saying goodnight, or needing time to be in class, work, with family, friends, etc, get to you. LDR is a challenge, no doubt, but just as with any relationship, you have to be a couple but still grow as individuals and keep your interests, hobbies, and relationships with family and friends. As time goes on, you learn to find a balance.

In the end, the time apart and all the waiting is worth it, when you find THE ONE. And of course it is natural to say when you know, you know. We were engaged before we met face to face. We just knew. We've been married 9 years, have lived in the US, then the UK and now back in the US, but we have never regretted the time it took to finally be together, and because of visa processing, have even had to spend time apart married, just a month or two here and there. All worth it.

Even if you can't have a long visit, short ones here and there until you can have a lengthy one are worth it, because it gives you time together.
Wow this was a great post, you really touched some good points. Thank you for that advice :)


  • *
  • Posts: 31

  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Dec 2013
Re: The Distance is Getting to Meee!! help..
« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2014, 07:42:45 PM »
My husband and I were the same - we knew we were in love before meeting face to face.  And we missed each other terribly when apart.

My experience was that I had a lot more anxiety about the relationship before the first face to face meeting.  Even though I felt I loved this man and he loved me, I worried about being caught up in a fantasy.  I don't know if it was because I am older than you (thus making me more cynical) or if it really was the personal knowledge of how relationships change over the years.  At any rate, I wasn't willing to invest a very long time in this relationship before actually meeting him.  I had to know if the voice on the phone was the real life man.  

I think you will feel a lot better after you meet her in real life.  The distance will still be hard, but you will know her better and trust your own feelings more.  My advice to you would be to go over as soon as you can, even if the visit is short.  In fact, the somber reality is that a first visit probably should be a short one - just in case things don't turn out to be what you think they are.  

People are intuitive and are usually right about how they feel.  I believe though that your head is telling you something that your heart cannot.  Listen to that.  Once your relationship is validated in real space and time, you will feel so much better.  

Get on that plane!  :)
I'm getting on that plan is nothing is stopping me! Taking that plane to meet the love of my life :) you are right i will feel so much better when i meet her, and fall in love with her even deeper. I am glad things worked out for you, thanks for the advice!


Sponsored Links





 

coloured_drab