Feeling stuck in a rut

Hey all,

This week has been challenging from an immigration perspective, and I was looking for a bit of cheer up or thoughts that it WILL get better, from others who have maybe been in this spot too.

We have been here about 8 weeks now and I still feel like we are in limbo/long term visitors. 

a)  Despite my EU partner, we still don't have a bank account because while we now have the mythical piece of mail, we apparently need a second piece too. 

b) We have a place to stay as long as we need, free, but its not exactly the most comfortable and my friend's pets are driving me up a wall. 

c) Our job searches have been going well, but I just want to be unpacked already, living in our own place with our kitties back with us. 

d) We have plenty of money to sustain us, but of course my US debit card goes expired this month and the new one is at my parents' place along with our tax forms and trying to pin them down has been a pain (not to mention I can't access money now in either country!)

e) Finally, with the EEA FP we have that residence card situation yet to deal with and I am deathly afraid of some mess up by the UKBA and being without passports for months on end, or a screw up where they can't confirm my right to work.

We always wanted to live in London and saw this as an adventure.  We have always intended on giving it a good 3 years at least.  But you read the papers when feeling 'broke' and between the anti-EU immigration vitriol and the cost of housing, I am wondering at my sanity some days!   Considering we couldn't decide on a place to live in the US, and we don't want to go to his home country (Sweden), we will stick it out, but I certainly feel like we are entering the doldrums here at the moment, and don't want to get stuck too long.

There are solutions for all the problems above, but I guess it just takes time.  Whats the best way to cope? Do I just need to relax and stop trying to push everything along (some days I think if I just force everything in my mind that will do the trick! )? I have other friends I go out with here, we do a fun pub puzzle night once a month, I joined a rollerskiing group in Hyde Park on Saturday mornings, so the social side is taken care of, but it would be nice to have a break from worrying about a job/income/housing too.

Sorry for the vent - the anxiety of it all has been eating at me more than usual the last week and I feel very on the edge with the slow creep of culture shock coming in here!

I think many of us can relate to that feeling of being in limbo due to waiting for paperwork.  It is hard to just sit back and relax when you just want it done and dusted.  I think you're being smart by getting out there and being social and finding things to do.  Sorry, I have no actual advice.  Once you get your money freed up and can get your own place you'll surely feel better. 

I feel for you and I can only add that many people have gone through these things, and it's got better. Good for you getting out and meeting people as that can be the hardest thing! I am sure this country is not unique in being set up for people who already live here, not for immigrants. Whenever my partner rants about how we were forced into things by the government's timing rather than our own, I remind her that's the reality for international couples.

Good luck!

Awww, sorry you have not had the smoothest of transition in getting started here.

A few things - can you try a different bank?  They all vary a bit and another may be fine with the one address item.

Hound your parents.   

And try to relax about the Family Permit.  As your partner is exercising EU treaty rights you have SO MANY more rights than those of us who have married British partners.  They WILL return your passport to you if you request it and you will not be without it if you don't want to be.  Now, us others folks...   

A few things - can you try a different bank?  They all vary a bit and another may be fine with the one address item.

Good advice

Good advice

Definitely good advice. We took our passports and employment contract to three different banks. One said we needed a letter from HMRC, one said we needed an appointment and the third said "no problem"....So, there's definitely a lot of variation  FWIW, I had read on here before we moved that Lloyd's seemed to be the "easiest" bank to get an account at and that was definitely our experience. Good luck!

I would also recommend Lloyds Bank, as I opened accounts with them with no proof of address!

Lloyds was one of them (based on what I had read here) - and they actually wanted an employment contract!  We tried Metro (based on another expat's experience) and they wanted more mail.

I have also heard that Halifax could be a good option (both here and from others), so we may try them next.

At any rate - thanks for the encouragement as it is much appreciated.  The weather at least has been lovely, which has been a great pick me up, and I got a good workout in yesterday.  Feeling better today compared to Friday and confident things will work out for the best!