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Topic: I'm having a bit of a rough day  (Read 1898 times)

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I'm having a bit of a rough day
« on: July 29, 2014, 01:42:52 PM »
Today is my first birthday away from my family and friends in the US. It's hitting me a bit harder then I expected.  It's not like the day is all that much different then it would be if I was back in CO. I get to spend the day with my new husband, which is amazing. I guess I just feel really disconnected.

There won't be family dinner with the Devil's Food cake with whipped cream frosting or hugs and kisses from my nephews.
There won't be drinks out with my friends, just a martini or maybe a Dirty Hippie (a beer) and a Bailey's and whiskey shot.
There won't be pie and fries with one of my really good friends.
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.


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Re: Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2014, 02:23:56 PM »
Sorry to hear your having a rough day, my wife was in floods of tears come her first birthday and thanksgiving over here.
It will get easier over time i promise.
 I am sure there will be lots of support from folks on here, but for now if you can find a larger Tesco or Asda store they are showing that they stock betty crocker devils food mix. (and possibly the cream frosting?)
(Asda is a pretty useful store for American items that aren't overpriced)
I am sure that your family are missing you too, if you have the internet at home have you discovered the wonders of skype yet?
Best wishes


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Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2014, 02:54:38 PM »
Today is my first birthday away from my family and friends in the US. It's hitting me a bit harder then I expected.  It's not like the day is all that much different then it would be if I was back in CO. I get to spend the day with my new husband, which is amazing. I guess I just feel really disconnected.

There won't be family dinner with the Devil's Food cake with whipped cream frosting or hugs and kisses from my nephews.
There won't be drinks out with my friends, just a martini or maybe a Dirty Hippie (a beer) and a Bailey's and whiskey shot.
There won't be pie and fries with one of my really good friends.

I know it's sad, but can you think of new traditions that you want to make?

Speaking of thanksgiving, my thanksgiving is always on Saturday now. And instead of Ahi tuna burgers for my bday, we do this awesome little Italian joint. I try to think that my old traditions could always be there (if I went home), but my new little traditions would only really work here...
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Re: Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2014, 03:44:07 PM »
Sorry to hear your having a rough day, my wife was in floods of tears come her first birthday and thanksgiving over here.
It will get easier over time i promise.
 I am sure there will be lots of support from folks on here, but for now if you can find a larger Tesco or Asda store they are showing that they stock betty crocker devils food mix. (and possibly the cream frosting?)
(Asda is a pretty useful store for American items that aren't overpriced)
I am sure that your family are missing you too, if you have the internet at home have you discovered the wonders of skype yet?
Best wishes


Sent from my GT-I5500 using Tapatalk 2

*smiles* I've not cried today, my poor husband is trying to figure out how to make me not melancholy though. And I have an 8 week old puppy to take up a lot of my time too. It's just the 7 hour time difference.
Thanks for the suggestion on the Devil's Food cake. It's one of my favorites! I'll have to check them out.
And as to Skype, it's been a main stay in my communication for whoever happens to be the 4,000 miles away. My husband and I would chat for at least an hour every night when I was in CO. Luckily my family and many of my friends have good internet so we can video chat. Without that, I know I'd be a heckuva lot more homesick then I have been.

I know it's sad, but can you think of new traditions that you want to make?

Speaking of thanksgiving, my thanksgiving is always on Saturday now. And instead of Ahi tuna burgers for my bday, we do this awesome little Italian joint. I try to think that my old traditions could always be there (if I went home), but my new little traditions would only really work here...

I haven't really come up with any as of yet. It's the my first birthday I've gotten to spend with my new husband. Before we'd spend a huge amount of time on Skype together and he sent me some lovely gifts in the post. We did the same for his birthday.
I don't have any local friends yet, so it's not like I have some folks to hang out with.  My hubby is taking me out to dinner at this restaurant we both like this weekend, so that'll be fun to dress up a bit and have some good food! This restaurant makes me feel like I'm back in the states, other than all the British accents! Haha. They have great service and the food reminds me of my favorite restaurant from where I lived.
We've discussed Thanksgiving a bit. We'll do either a turkey breast or a roast chicken with potatoes and vegetables and all that good stuff. I wonder if Brussell sprouts are available around that time here?

*edited* because I forgot to mention I had just been video chatting with my mom for an hour. Skype truly is a gift from the gods. *grins*
« Last Edit: July 29, 2014, 03:50:43 PM by lyonaria »
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.


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Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2014, 03:54:32 PM »
Happy Birthday!!   [smiley=balloon.gif] [smiley=balloon.gif] [smiley=balloon.gif] [smiley=balloon.gif] [smiley=balloon.gif]

These kinds of days are hard.  Definitely agree with the others on making your own "happy things" for your birthday here.  The trouble becomes if you move back to the US, you'll miss having your birthday here! 

Where in Colorado are you from?  I moved here from Castle Rock.

My sad days here are when my family is all together without me in the US.  I'm a guaranteed grumpy pants!


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Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2014, 03:56:28 PM »
Happy Birthday :D!

Sorry to hear you've been feeling down - it's not fun spending major holidays/birthdays away from your family and friends, but hopefully some of the suggestions here will help you to feel a bit better :).

Last Christmas, I was living 4,000 miles away from all of my family and friends, on a tiny island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean! I didn't have any presents to open on Christmas morning and I didn't see a single person until lunchtime (and the only people I saw were a handful of colleagues and military guys who I'd only known for a week). Then I had to work a 14-hour night shift all alone in the office that night :(.

It was a very strange experience for me and not one I'd really like to repeat - of course it didn't help that I wasn't feeling very festive, considering it was 28 degrees C outside and we had a BBQ for Christmas Dinner, and I only had very slow, limited internet so couldn't easily talk to anyone back home!


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Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #6 on: July 29, 2014, 07:39:43 PM »
Where in Derbyshire are you, Lyonaria? I am in Derby, and I'll make you a cake!!


Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2014, 09:25:48 PM »
Its tough isn't it :( I really sympathise having spent my 40th birthday in a US rental apartment (admittedly with my lovely 12 and 9 year old children), but without my husband who was traveling for business. We'd only been in the US for one week so I wasn't in the best of moods! Sometimes we just need to wallow!

I made sure that we made the extra effort to celebrate Christmas without wishing we were somewhere else, and the same with everyone's birthdays from then onwards. Starting new traditions in our new country made sense for us, not any good for you today but hopefully you'll feel like planning stuff in the future.


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Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2014, 12:11:55 PM »
Aww, Happy Birthday lyonaria!

Whether it's a birthday or holiday or random family or friends get together, these things can be hard.

I've not lived near family for over 12 years now and it definitely gets easier with time as you make your own traditions and forge your own way.   

But I still remember my first birthday after I first moved far away.  I was in a long distance relationship at the time, so I didn't have a significant other to spend the day with and I didn't really have too many friends.
I had said "Right, I'm gonna celebrate. By myself and it will be great" and decided that I was gonna go out and see a concert!  The concert should have been about an hour away from where I lived. I left in plenty of time. Except, I was stuck on the road for three hours due to road works and traffic accidents and when I was still a good 30 minutes away from the site, it was already 45 minutes into the first set. I was full of road rage at this point, upset that I missed a bunch of the concert, and was upset that it was my birthday and I was all alone.  Full of tears and feeling miserable, I just drove home and crawled into bed and cried "What am I doing????? I'm all alone!!! I should just move home!!!!" I was so down!!!!!

Anyways, it did get better with time. I got friends. I found interests and hobbies.  (And I knew the roads better so I knew how to avoid  being stuck on a route for 3 hours, when I could have gone a much better way there....)   I made my own traditions and my own way and life has evolved!
I eventually moved to Scotland, which has been brilliant since I got here and WAY better than where I lived before.

Hang in there. I hope you enjoy your meal out and that you have a nice weekend to make up for yesterday!!
 
I've never gotten food on my underpants!
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Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2014, 08:44:17 PM »
Happy Birthday!!   [smiley=balloon.gif] [smiley=balloon.gif] [smiley=balloon.gif] [smiley=balloon.gif] [smiley=balloon.gif]

These kinds of days are hard.  Definitely agree with the others on making your own "happy things" for your birthday here.  The trouble becomes if you move back to the US, you'll miss having your birthday here! 

Where in Colorado are you from?  I moved here from Castle Rock.

My sad days here are when my family is all together without me in the US.  I'm a guaranteed grumpy pants!
*grins* It's always a give and take with the whole moving thing, isn't it? And I think I was a bit grumpy already because my mom's brother and his kids (they're from MN) had come out to Colorado on Sunday to help with my grandparents' house and it would really have been nice to be there. Well, I was on Skype but no one was really paying attention to me and I'd stayed up past midnight to be there.

I was in Grand Junction.  With the whole high desert thing going on, it was a really big change to move to England! When I was younger we lived in Jamestown for a bit, we'd go up to Castle Rock for the Outlet Mall.
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.


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Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2014, 09:42:49 PM »
Happy Birthday :D!

Sorry to hear you've been feeling down - it's not fun spending major holidays/birthdays away from your family and friends, but hopefully some of the suggestions here will help you to feel a bit better :).

Last Christmas, I was living 4,000 miles away from all of my family and friends, on a tiny island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean! I didn't have any presents to open on Christmas morning and I didn't see a single person until lunchtime (and the only people I saw were a handful of colleagues and military guys who I'd only known for a week). Then I had to work a 14-hour night shift all alone in the office that night :(.

It was a very strange experience for me and not one I'd really like to repeat - of course it didn't help that I wasn't feeling very festive, considering it was 28 degrees C outside and we had a BBQ for Christmas Dinner, and I only had very slow, limited internet so couldn't easily talk to anyone back home!

Thanks for the birthday wishes! I was well bummed out on Tuesday. I'm doing a whole lot better now. Getting a chance to talk to my mom and hearing that other people are/have been going through the same thing makes me feel a lot better.

Aw, that would be the roughest Christmas ever! I'm used to be it being frosty at Christmas, even if we don't have snow. So the weather here is going to be a pretty big change! I'd be feeling completely bereft in that situation, so I hope you have a much better one this year!
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.


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Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2014, 09:43:58 PM »
Where in Derbyshire are you, Lyonaria? I am in Derby, and I'll make you a cake!!

I'm not too far from you actually, I'm right outside of Swadlincote. We head up to Derby periodically cause you guys have the good shopping at Westfields. *grins*
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.


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Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2014, 10:08:53 PM »
Starting new traditions in our new country made sense for us, not any good for you today but hopefully you'll feel like planning stuff in the future.

It really is Fruitgum. I've been thinking of making a big trip back to the US for my 30th birthday next year. I have quite a few friends who are all turning 30 next year within a month of each other, so we might go to Vegas or something if we can all swing it.

Coming up with your own birthday/holiday traditions is a great idea. My husband and I have been talking about what to do for Thanksgiving, Christmas and those type of Holidays. We just never really discussed birthdays. *grins* I'm sure we'll come up something great! We went away from his birthday we weren't able to do that this time cause of our 8 week old puppy. He's a good little lad. Just had his first jabs.

Aww, Happy Birthday lyonaria!
...
Hang in there. I hope you enjoy your meal out and that you have a nice weekend to make up for yesterday!!
 
And thanks for the birthday wishes, phatbeetle! It's just tough because my 4 year old nephew keeps asking me when I'm coming back. This last time he asked, "Are you staying there forever?" Before that he kept asking me if I was going to be back to visit tomorrow. That just tugs at your heartstrings, you know?

Now that is an adventure! It's always interesting to see what unplanned for events can throw a kink in your plans. I know I would have been upset too! Reminds me of an ill fated trip to the Minneapolis Art Museum a few years ago.

It's wonderful to hear that things do get better from someone who has gone through the experience. It's one thing to know and another to hear it directly.

We're going to have a wonderful dinner out.  I've been looking forward to going back to The Bulls Head in Repton since our first visit last year! And getting all dolled up is fun, specially when it's for a special occasion. *grins*

All in all, it's wonderful to have this group of people all going through a similar experience.
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.


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Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #13 on: July 30, 2014, 10:37:54 PM »
We just had dinner at the Bull's Head on Sunday!! It's a small world. Next time you're coming up to Derby, PM me and I'll meet you for coffee - I have two munchkins in tow, but they're used to getting dragged along!
Enjoy your dinner!


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Re: I'm having a bit of a rough day
« Reply #14 on: July 30, 2014, 10:39:52 PM »
Thanks for the birthday wishes! I was well bummed out on Tuesday. I'm doing a whole lot better now. Getting a chance to talk to my mom and hearing that other people are/have been going through the same thing makes me feel a lot better.

Glad you're doing better now :).

Quote
Aw, that would be the roughest Christmas ever! I'm used to be it being frosty at Christmas, even if we don't have snow. So the weather here is going to be a pretty big change! I'd be feeling completely bereft in that situation, so I hope you have a much better one this year!

Yeah, it was pretty weird - I had just spent 5 months living 8,000 miles away from everyone, then had 3 weeks back home in the UK and then left again for 3 months living 4,000 miles away! I'm doing the 8,000-mile trip again in January and staying there for 4 months, although I made sure not to be away for Christmas this time :).

You may still get frost at Christmas - it's quite often frosty in December here (the number of air frost and icy roads warnings I have to put out in winter is crazy), just depends on the weather situation at the time and the position of the jet stream as to whether we get the cold air from the Arctic or warmer air from the Atlantic. It can vary quite a lot though... on Christmas Day 2010, we had a maximum temperature of -6 C (21 F) and there was ice/frost everywhere, but then on Christmas Day 2011, it was 12 degrees (54 F) and raining! (Sorry, I'm a meteorologist - this stuff is basically my life :P).


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