Mom is crying "Don't leave us"

Misch,

With respect as well, I don't see where I "keep reiterating" tha anyone should become an activist.  My original point to LuckyNicky was more to say that Bush didn't illegalize gay marriages in California-it is a state law, voted for by the citizens of the state, and has been in effect for at least two years (since I don't recall exactly when it was passed) so I was unsure why it was suddenly becoming a huge issue.  I suggested that since it is a state law perhaps rather than leave-something I got the impression he was rather reluctant to do-he work to get the law brought back up for vote and perhaps it could be defeated this time.

I wasn't referring in any way to the Justice Department or any type of Immigration issue, although if I'm not mistaken I did suggest to him back in his intro thread another possible way of getting his partner to stay in the States.

The above posts by me are, to my recollection, the only times I have ever suggested that anyone "get involved".

And I thought I made it clear in my latest post here that I felt perhaps I had been a little quick to jump, and so offered more suggestions along the line of what LuckyNicky was actually looking for.   Thus, I thought, bringing this topic back on track.

LuckyNicky, I have had another thought.  Since we all seem to be throwing your Mom to the technology wolves and insisting she get online (assuming she isn't)-have you thought of starting a live journal?  You can get one free at www.livejournal.com and it's a good way for family and friends far away to keep up with you and what you're doing-you might not talk to them every day but you can post a little everyday and they get a better feel of what life is like for you.  I know quite a few UKYers have them for that reason.
 

Misch,

With respect as well, I don't see where I "keep reiterating" tha anyone should become an activist.   

Apologies, you're right! I went back and looked. It was someone else on the other thread on which we wrote yesterday.

I sure wish I could afford to become a full-time activist, though!

Listen, before you go, get your parents broadband and a decent videocam.

I totally recommend this. We bought my parents one for Christmas and had them download MSN Messenger (which is free) and now we can talk online all we want because it's free and we get to see each other and show each other things around the house and stuff. It's a very neat tool to have when you're so far away.

And I totally understand how hard it is. My mother did the same thing when I moved away. She started sobbing and told me England was so far away to lose her daughter to. But at the end of the day, this is your life, you must do what makes you happy and fulfilled. I was just talking to my mother this week and she told me that she didn't understand why I could love England until she visited last month. She said she saw that I had finally gotten myself a life I could be happy in and she's finally been able to accept my being so far away. That was a huge weight lifted from my heart. She knows I'm happy, that's all she needs.

I was just talking to my mother this week and she told me that she didn't understand why I could love England until she visited last month.

Sorry, must mention (and hopefully y'all will appreciate the wryness), when I told my parents I was moving here, they stared across the dinner table at each other silently.  Then after what felt like an eternity:

Mom:  Well, now we have a reason to visit England.
(pause)
Dad (in his ever so matter-of-factness way): Well, England's a reason to visit England.
(pause)
Mom:  Well that's true.
(pause)
Me:  *cough*  okay then.

Keeping in mind of course, the many, many, MANY times my family has been year over the years.

Wow...what a debate!
I should let you all know a few things...
First of all, the Huzzband and I were married in San Fran in march as more of a symbolic gesture. Although that little piece of paper means the world to us, the federal Government
thinks it is as important as bog roll.
Second, we also have signed up with the State of California as Domestic partners (Calif's new law is the strongest in the US)
Third, we belong to EVERY gay task force, have been intervied by every paper and magazine, and are poster children for immigration equality. We are about as ACTIVIST as it gets!
What many of you don't understand is this DOES NOT MEAN DIDDLY SQUAT to the Federal government. You can not IMMIGRATE to California....you immigrate to the USA.
With all 3 branches of government in the right wing corner...gay rights are 100% dead for four years.  ...
I hope that clears a few things up for you. Don't worry .. Most gay people here don't have a clue about immigration issues...and offer lots of advise that basically is useless.

I do VERY MUCH appreciate the advise about mum!!!
I know many of you have been or are going through it.

with all sincerety, best of luck to you both

LuckyNicky, was there ever a time when you and your partner were separated by long distances? You can communicate with your mother the same way, and as often as you communicated with your partner.  To give you an idea, when I move to the UK to be with my fiance, I'm giving my computer, with speakers,  mike and webcam already hooked up,  to my parents.

 Thanks particularly to ElizabethK (Hi honey! We'll get to see more of eachother soon!)

 

Hugs Nicky 

Well, I'll give you all a brief update, as Nick SUCKS with keeping up on this site - every time he asks me questions, I say CHECK OUT THE SITE YOUR ANSWER WILL BE THERE SOMEWHERE... but noooooooooooo.

Anyway, our families had a nice visit together when I was home for Christmas, and we talked about it then, and my parents were very reassuring to his, and his parents saw how well I'm doing here;
Last week he came over on his own for a week, to start sussing things out and try to get a couple of interviews, and his moods went from THIS IS AWESOME I CAN'T WAIT to WHAT THE H**L am I thinking, this will NEVER work!
End of story, he did have one interview, the ONE he really, really wanted, and it went GREAT!  Then we walked around the City, I showed him where I work, we hung out in Islington (where he's sure he wants to move), and went home very excited and ready to put things in motion.

And his parents are now adjusting to the idea much more swiftly, and being very supportive.

He and Freddie will be here in April!
 

Yeah, Elizabeth!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yup....Leave it to Elizabeth to have to sort it all out for me.....
After my fact finding mission last week, I am so excited about getting over to London.
It is all falling into place here, and we hope to get on our way by the end of March.
We decided 3 weeks in Spain and France first should soften the blow, but we are
still on target for our arrival in April.  I hope to get to meet some of you....I met Mischa
while I was over, and he's great. A new friend for the new city.
Thanks for the advise about Mom....but she's pretty into it now. And Mom & Dad have
booked a full month in England for September. 

And Mom & Dad have booked a full month in England for September. 

And that's when my mom & dad will be here...!  Before we head off to Africa to chill with the gorillas