Just have vent-moving here has changed everything I thought about America!

On a serious note, these things exist. Page 3 exists. The Daily Mail's constant "side boob", "upskirt" Benny Hill jiggly peek-a-boo show continues. Some male MPs do little double-handed a$$/breast honk motions towards female MPs when they are speaking. It filters down to street/office level "smile lurv", "get us a cuppa will ya pet" crap. 

Or the lorry driver that I and 3 other women were chatting with in the checkout line at the Co-op the other week, all of us complaining about the shocking state of the roads, the council not gritting (they don't even own plows, so forget actual snow removal), etc.  We were having a nice, collective vent, and then he just had to throw in a bit about 'women drivers.'

I've run across this guy before, as he makes deliveries different places, and he's one who always calls women-- even ones he's never met-- by pet names, expects them to make him tea, etc.  I know he's not trying to be malicious.  He thinks he's being friendly.  But it annoys the hell out of me, and judging by the reaction he got, other women aren't much more impressed, either.

To be fair, forty years ago the U.S. didn't have Starbucks or Costa either. 

This is true.  But there were coffee shops (Dunkin Doughnuts for one.  No comparison, I know)

Rant away, Lalala!  We all do it from time to time.

Apples and oranges.

May I step in here and point out that a lot of you don't know you're born.  When I first came to the UK (40 years ago) things were rather different.  There were no Starbucks or even Costa.  There was no Tropicana orange juice or barely any kind except UHT in cartons.  Nobody had heard of butternut squash and blueberries (or bilberries) were only obtainable by picking them in the woods.  The only exotic foreign food available was Indian, Chinese or Italian.

Nobody did anything for Halloween (in England anyway).  Towns and most cities had an "early closing" day when shops would close down at noon.  Nothing open on Sundays at all.  Licensing hours were much stricter.  At work all females were to be addressed as "Miss so-and-so" and were expected to wear skirts.  I remember only one instance of a woman wearing trousers to work.  A woman in a management job was called a "manageress" (obviously inferior to a manager proper)

Ahh, along the lines of the coffee shops, well 40 years ago, the USA was a different place too, with women's equality (and racial!) also being a major issue there as well.  I know my Mom talks about having to wear suits with skirts and hose and heels to be a Banking Trustee,  having to answer to the 'Male bosses' who still demanded she call them sir and that crap.  And I'm not thinking of even 40 years ago, but I remember all shops in Massachusetts being shut on a Sunday and definitely no booze sales on a Sunday at all.   And whilst I remember we were able to get Chinese or Italian food, but definitely no Indian or Sushi or even Mexican food where I grew up.    The world is a different place now, British or not! 

I remember all shops in Massachusetts being shut on a Sunday and definitely no booze sales on a Sunday at all.   

Ah well, Massachusetts ...  At least they didn't have anything like early closing!  My first job in the UK was in a bookshop.  We had Sunday off (everything closed down) and Monday off in lieu of Saturday.  (Pretty useless if your significant other and friends all had Saturday/Sunday off).  Then we closed early on Wednesday.  Great except all the other shops were also closed.  It was a wrench when you came from a cosmopolitan academic environment.

To be fair, I don't mean to say that things are worse in GB as compared to the US. And this is a post sort of based on comparison.

I have sort of lost touch with the reality on the ground over there. I do see racial strife in the news, and the few US TV shows I watch - like the sublime Hawaii 5-0 - are, I know, terribly distorted....the houses people live in on US shows are always way out of the characters' income brackets.

With the recent snow storms, I have read some comment sections of news stories, and am fascinated that all sorts of solutions are proposed to say the parking problems....with the glaring exception of public transport. That ain't even on the table, or even in the room with the table. Catch the bus to work? Are you crazy?

Catch the bus to work? Are you crazy?

There are lots of people who do take buses or other public transport-- sometimes by choice, but usually because they haven't got one.  But even in cities with allegedly well-developed mass transit, it often just doesn't fit the way people live and work, on a logistical or cultural level.

Before I moved, I lived in a small- to mid-sized city, that was well know for supporting alternative transport, including buses.  When my old car died on me, I had to spend a couple of months relying on the bus.  I didn't really mind at first, and toyed with the idea of just not replacing my car, but quickly changed my mind.

I was fortunate enough to live not too far from my office, about 8 miles, and on the same side of the city.  It normally took about 15-20 minutes to drive, during rush hour.  But to get there by bus took about 75 minutes; rather than a circular route, I had to take one bus into the city center/campus area, then get on another that went back out to the suburb where I worked.

While not ideal, I honestly could have lived with that, especially since the transfer point was actually in a really good location for walking to downtown amenities, or catching buses to pretty much any other part of the city.  The problem was the timetable.

I could catch a bus that would get me to work just on time (incl. the 5-7 min. walk), and one just after the end of my 'official' working hours (as long as I rushed to the stop).  But we didn't work to a schedule; while it wasn't usually required, the norm was very much to come in a bit early & stay a bit late, and I couldn't really do that if I had to catch the bus.  Outwith 'peak' times, the buses only ran once every hour or two, and the one near my office stopped after 5:30 PM.  If I missed that, I'd have to phone a cab.

While my managers and co-workers were cool about it-- no one ever commented, even if I were late in the morning because of a missed connection-- I still felt like a slacker, having to run in and out right on the dot.  And by the end, I did sense it was starting to affect the way people viewed me.  I don't know if it was necessarily the fact that I wasn't putting in the overtime, as much as just a perception that it was a sign that I didn't have my life together, that I was immature, etc.  If I'd chosen to take the bus/cycle, as some kind of statement, they would have respected, even admired that.  But as it was, I think they just saw it as flaky.

In a much larger city, with a more robust transit system, things might have been different.  But honestly, the demands of most American workplaces just make it really, really difficult not to drive-- and that's to say nothing of other issues, like access to public services (e.g. grocery stores), safety concerns, etc. 

The bottom line is that, for most Americans, if you're so broke that you can't afford to own & operate a car (legally), then pretty much everything about our system--from public transport, to licensing/registration penalties, to food deserts-- is designed to keep you in poverty.

Woad, these are all important issues.

I am a bit out in the weeds about it all. In the US, personal transport creates, I think, 40% of all carbon. Fracking confuses me. The US now is the world's 1st or 2nd largest oil producing nation. Which is a huge turn around from just a decade ago. It has completely changed the game. I don't know how long the sources will last, nor have I every looked too closely at the concerns of environmentalists as far as fracking. I need to as I hate being totally ignorant about something like that. My  stance is that if it is dug up and burned, it ends up in the atmosphere.

I am not sure the US could ever move even slightly away from the "a car per person" set up. The sprawl is too great, and being planned around cars, transport systems can't be easily modified.

@sonofasailor this isn't really a thread about pollution though. but it's not like England is exactly the most "green" country either. I remember my eyes turning red from all the smog for a week. And I dare you to take your finger and wipe it against a car. I can feel the smog on my face. And living in London, you should see how many people litter here. There's trash everywhere, it's shocking.

It is a problem, but not just in the US.

Honestly, I think your problem is with London, not the UK. There are plenty of unpolluted places with friendly, unbigoted people and short commutes outside the big smoke. Any chance you could move to a different part of the country?

Oh dear... Lalala75, I think I live in a town similar to where you are, even though I'm an hour from London. I find the UK very sexist, probably due to the "lad" culture. It shocked me when I began living here, as I felt everyone was 50 years behind the times with the way men acted like kids in regards to women (asking them to get their you know whats out?) If men openly acted like that in my old USA hometown, they'd get smacked alongside their head. lol There was more of a sense of equality in my town. If guys wanted to objectify women, they were more apt to do it in the privacy of their homes.  In all of the companies I worked at in the USA, over the years, women were respected. Luckily, my British husband and his friends were brought up to respect women, too (he came from a military family). But, just my opinion here, as long as you have women willing to be looked at as objects, you are going to have men who readily comply.  Also, the anti-Americanism I saw really surprised me when I first moved here, too. I'm used to it now. So I kind of understand the frustration or sadness you must feel. Wish I could give you a hug.

@historyenne i think this very well may be true. i havent seen much of the rest of the UK and I definitely dont like the way London is set up, it's too expensive and people have to live far away from each other and everything is set up around work-from the commutes to instant coffee and ready made dinner because you dont have time to do anything else. i think i will actually have to live somewhere other than London if we decide to stay here and buy...because there's no way we can afford anything in the city! The thing is, I am a city girl, so like somewhat of a fast pace but I just don't like the set up of the city.

@ClairetheWriter thanks so much for saying this. it makes me feel better of course people having the same experience and i am not alone or crazy. it truly gets under my skin and one of those things that's offensive to the core (to me, at least)

i think i will actually have to live somewhere other than London if we decide to stay here and buy...because there's no way we can afford anything in the city!

Don't mean to derail you again, but the housing situation in London is stunningly warped. I can't see how it can continue like it is.

@ClairetheWriter  also, i think you are right about men in the US objectifying women in the privacy of their own home. i think since it is more unaccepted in the US, men are afraid of being "that guy." Whereas here, more women (not all) let them get away with it and chalk it up to "boys will be boys" and guys feel free act that way.

@sonofasailor  yes it is pretty insane and i cant see how it can be sustainable either

The thing is, I am a city girl, so like somewhat of a fast pace but I just don't like the set up of the city.

If you like cities, there are plenty of other great ones in the UK.  A lot of folks on this forum praise Manchester and Edinburgh as great places to live.   

@ClairetheWriter  also, i think you are right about men in the US objectifying women in the privacy of their own home. i think since it is more unaccepted in the US, men are afraid of being "that guy." Whereas here, more women (not all) let them get away with it and chalk it up to "boys will be boys" and guys feel free act that way.

@sonofasailor  yes it is pretty insane and i cant see how it can be sustainable either

For what it's worth, I know very few people like the ones you are talking about. My general feel about the UK is that people here are a bit more enlightened, tuned in, etc.

Additionally, just for perspective, when I go to london (I live in scotland) I feel like I'm visiting another country. I really enjoy visiting, but it seems so different than other areas of Britain. So you may find areas outside of London much more to your liking.

Funnily, you may find that you like the UK more, or at least are more fond of it, after a visit back to the states. Nothing like going back to reality of life there to remind you that some things in Britain are really quite nice.

To be fair to Britain, and as an American who loves it here, it does sound as though Britain is not the right place for for you.

I'm sorry you're having such a miserable time here. Please know that the rest of us aren't sitting here enjoying a Britain filled with pollution and sexism, feeling dirt poor and working all the time. The Britain I experience is totally different. I live in lovely countryside with a guarantee of no suburban sprawl, because people value green space and farming over house developments and £££. I don't experience any more sexism than I would in the states and am thankful every day I live in Britain and not the states and can delay discussing the pitiful state of racism in America with my children and what a sad, divided, unequal country it is in regards to race. I grump about how expensive things are here, too, but know that even though my family is living pay check to paycheck, we don't have to REALLY worry, because healthcare is covered the swimming pool is cheap, parttime nursery is free, etc. And working like a dog? No way. 5 weeks holiday a year minimum is vast worlds away from what anyone gets in the states and I'm thankful every day that my husband gets to spend proper time off with his kids and that we all get a chance to travel and holiday and NOT work

So those are just my thoughts. I think a lot of it is your perception and the bubbles we all live in.