Just have vent-moving here has changed everything I thought about America!

@lalala75  Where do you live in London? I grew up in the Lake District in the UK but my favourite place to live is London. But that's mainly because my best friend who grew up there took me under her wing when I first moved and showed me all her favourite and secret places.

We lived near Portobello Road and it was like living in a village - with a great local butcher, fishmonger, wonderful market stalls for fresh food. Eclectic people and bars and shops. The BEST cinema in the UK (The Electric.)

I think to love London you just have to find your village, the one which fits your personality. (as long as you can afford it of course)

Re your in-laws - they sound terrible. Two ways to go I think:

1. See them as little as possible

2. When you have to see them absolutely kill them with kindness - it will disconcert them, especially if they are hoping to get a reaction from you with their unkind words

@UKintheUS right now i live in greenwich, one of the nicest areas left where you can get a decent place. but actually we are being evicted and now it's time to do the renting in london nightmare dance.

portobello road sounds like the kind of london experience from the movies, i can imagine it would be very nice. but i know there's no way we'd be able to afford a place there.

and re: the in laws. trying to the first option as much as possible. i feel bad though, really it's just the MIL making things difficult

It does seem as if the in-laws have a rather unhealthy relationship with their son, almost an obsession.

New to this board and I have already seen a lot of people have the same frustrations I do so sorry if some of mine are repeats. I just feel sometimes like I want a place to just say what bothers me because it's hard to talk to anyone personally...as I don't want to offend people. 

I moved here from the west coast of America (before lived in the south). I liked it but I thought London would suit me more and was tired of America for the same reasons other people often get tired of them. Also, my husband is British and that is the main reason why we moved here. But after about a year, I have to finally admit...I really don't like it. And my opinions about my homeland were turned upside down.

(disclaimer: i know i'm making sweeping generalizations)

1) After a year, someone has finally invited me out. I had heard how cold the British were and didn't believe it. i was wrong. I cant see how anyone has friends here as people just don't seem interested in hanging out or forming close friendships. I know American friendships are more "superficial" but now I'd take that over this any day. That's better than people treating you as if you don't exist at all.

2) I feel like I can't talk to people here. A lot of people don't get personal and don't joke around. I remember laughing at work a lot in the states and when I try to joke, it falls flat or people don't get it (i have a dark sense of humour though.) But in general, I find the conversation here to be pretty dull, which then in turn makes me dull.

3) All the commuting and the fast pace is exhausting. Do you really need to run to the train? You can't wait for the next one in 1 minute???

4) The comedy. There's very few shows i find funny here, it's like watching paint dry a lot of times. Also, i find a lot of the humour very juevnile and at times sexist.

5) speaking of which, i've noticed a more sexist vibe here which infuriates me. one job i had, the women weren't invited to meetings. what's worse, a lot of women let this happen and encourage it by catering to this. i'on one end, ve seen girls here become strippers and nude models just to fit into the british notion of sexy and at the other end, is the woman who has an identity which is tied to her husband.  another american (male) is bothered by this too and thinks it's because mothers often treat their sons like kings.  (again, not true of everyone but a lot more than i experienced in the US)

6) Food. Ok it's better than I thought to be fair but it is bland. even salt and pepper are not even used. as for it supposedly being healthier, i've put on 12 pounds here and heavier here than i EVER was in the US. this is even when I lived in the south. ive had to go on an extreme diet to try and lose weight and I'm not the type to eat junk and eat healthy. also, every day i seem to have a stomach ache.

7) Food 2. it also annoys me that the british think their food is the best when half the time, a lot of food is pre-made, even for special occasions. i had never heard of paxo and of anyone making stuffing from a packet. it seems like a lot of food is pre-made of is from some sort of packet, yet it still passes as "cooking."

The stiff upper lip. it's a lot of conservative than i thought it would be. especially my DH's family, which totally surprised me as i thought my own family was very conservative. but they resent he moved to the big city London (mind you, they are only an hour away.) And just dont understand me at all because I am a modern woman with a career and was very independent (something that's alien to them apparently) I listen to rock music and a bit creative but that's somehow very different for people, which is strange.

9) which leads to my next point, i thought there would be a great music scene here since a lot of my favorite music is from britain. but all you hear here is pop music and barely anyone i have met is rock at all. but now i see why rock music is so good...the bands had so much stiffness to rebel against!

10) the biggest one. the anti-americanism. for such a supposedly polite people, they are awfully rude to foreigners and particularly americans. i know we bait them, but it's like they are obsessed. We never talk about the british yet you hear about us everyday on tv. and they dont like it when we ask stupid questions but then in turn ask us americans stupid questions like, do we all own guns? guess what? you sound just like what you are spouting off against!

ugh i could go on and on. dishes left unwashed, cleaning products poor, bad customer service, nothing to do but go to pubs, nothing open most of the time you are free, a focus on work and not life....but it would be a long list.

of course there are things i like but i dont think it outweighs these points. and american isnt perfect either and of course some places in america are better than others. as someone who was a bit embarrassed at our society and a liberal alternative hippie, i am now a proud american and have never appreciated us like i do now. i like how we have a lot of ambition and put ourselves out there and act a bit crazy sometimes, that's better than boring!

dont worry i will be there in the UK coffey anyone, also we Canadians are more down to earth where friendships are meaningful

I'm a bit late joining the conversation but oh me the America bashing I've experienced here has defintiely made me more patriotic than ever.  It really gets you down after a while.

My British husband and I were hanging out with some friends the other day and from one I heard the usual:

"I normally hate America but Seattle was really awesome..."

Though I'm a Washington native and sure love hearing Seattle get praise, the comment itself is so awkward to respond to.  Um...thanks...I guess?

There is a lot about the UK I don't like but I'd never say that to a British person's face lol it's so rude.

The best one though was at this same get together another guy piped in saying

"I hated America, I would never go back.  The food and the drivers were s***"

I asked him:

"What part did you go to?"
"Florida and Washington D.C."

Oh my God lol you're writing off a whole entire country, a BIG one at that, because you didn't like two places?  Imagine if an American said they hated the UK because they thought London was a dump?

Oh and no I don't live near the White House  a near 3000 miles west of it actually

@GreenEyedGirl oh that's so annoying, the insults disguised as compliments or questions. "I heard American cheese was really bad." Oh you heard that did you? And yes, i guess british politeness goes out the window when totally bashing someone's home and culture. i have my grievances but no way do i say it to anyone's face, even though people do to me...because it's rude!

i swear i hear something everyday, at work or tv or somewhere, about people talking about americans. it's like an obsession. but it's all just one way. we don't go around constantly comparing ourselves or going on and on about england. i never hear anything about english people in america other than about their tv or movies. and it's extra irritating because it's not like it's great here in the UK. if i lived in the south of france or some italian village eating fresh fish and good wine, i might be a bit smug but it takes a lot of gall to call out america for being so bad when you are from a place with lousy weather, food and the english arent known as exactly friendly are they?

are americans rude? yes, you bet. but we dont deny it and dont constantly badmouth other cultures...probably because no one cares enough.

it's hard to know how to respond and i think just better not to. because then it's just acting just as immature.

i never hear anything about english people in america

While I might not fully support some of the things you say here....you are probably on solid ground with this.....with the possible exception that in US media English people are often sort of pigeon-holed as butlers and super villains (which is a bit of a complement in a way).

i swear i hear something everyday, at work or tv or somewhere, about people talking about americans. it's like an obsession.

Are you saying that the English are obsessed about talking about the US?  Or that you are obsessed with finding problems/reasons to be annoyed?

I've lived in the UK for 14 years, Germany 10 years, Japan 5 years and of course almost 30 years in the US......I haven't noticed a whole lot of picking on Americans that wasn't deserved.  I've also found Americans quite quick at mouthing off about other countries/people. People just say things about other people......you can shrug it off.....or look for reasons to be insulted.

I've lived in the UK for 14 years, Germany 10 years, Japan 5 years and of course almost 30 years in the US......I haven't noticed a whole lot of picking on Americans that wasn't deserved.  I've also found Americans quite quick at mouthing off about other countries/people. People just say things about other people......you can shrug it off.....or look for reasons to be insulted.

Well said!

@F4mandolin  @Albatross  obviously this does happen though and it does get people down. hence, there's several posts on here about this very thing. just because you dont notice it doesnt mean that others' experience should be dismissed.

i was responding to greeneyedgirl's post and i myself am very very homesick so yeah it does sting when almost everyday i hear how bad my home is. just because it doesnt bother you or you dont experience it, doesnt mean everyone else has to feel the same.

but it's all just one way. we don't go around constantly comparing ourselves or going on and on about england.

I agree that the English discuss Americans more than vice-versa, but I think it's because living in the UK you are much more exposed to American news & culture than vice versa, and we tend to talk about things we've seen/heard/read in the media.   Also, for every snarky comment about Americans I think you'll also hear British people talk about the lovely Americans they met on holiday: how they're so friendly and talkative.

You also have to understand that the UK culture is rather negative.   We're quick to find faults in everything and everyone (including ourselves, and certainly not just Americans) and slow to comment on the positive.   Just look at UK domestic media coverage of the NHS.

So please don't feel singled out.

You also have to understand that the UK culture is rather negative.   We're quick to find faults in everything and everyone (including ourselves, and certainly not just Americans) and slow to comment on the positive.   

It's a good point.

@F4mandolin  @Albatross  obviously this does happen though and it does get people down. hence, there's several posts on here about this very thing. just because you dont notice it doesnt mean that others' experience should be dismissed.

i was responding to greeneyedgirl's post and i myself am very very homesick so yeah it does sting when almost everyday i hear how bad my home is. just because it doesnt bother you or you dont experience it, doesnt mean everyone else has to feel the same.

Of course it happens. Nowhere did I say it didn't happen. I really don't mean to be harsh with this next comment (really, I'm not)......but it seems that you are looking for these things to happen. You admit you are homesick and I think things are just bothering you way too easily. After almost 30 years as a teacher (all with Americans living overseas...military kids).....probably 50-60% really liked living somewhere else and made the best of it. About 10% really really did not like being where they were.....and with those kids everything that wasn't "like the USA" was crap. I can even include myself in there at times.....while I do like living out of the USA (and intend to stay that way)....there were times in my working career when things really got to me and I would start looking too much on the negative side. I even had one principal say that to me once.....and I couldn't really argue with him since I agreed with him. I was tired of the job I was doing....tired of not having days off (I was at work 7 days a week, teaching, coaching, athletic director etc).....tired of stuff. Although having him actually say that mostly snapped me out of it. It's easy to slide into that "dark side" of the force.

I golf a couple of times a week......just Wednesday someone in my group was just starting to tell a joke.....and it involved America (and knickers). He kind of started and then realised there was an American there......he looked over at me and I just said "Go for it......it's a joke, and Americans have a lot to be joked about". For me to be insulted that easily would have been waaaaay too politically correct. These people are regularly picking on Yorkshireman (most of the are Yorkshireman....but with plenty of Scots and a some Irish. Jeez.....just between those three there are a million jokes.

but it seems that you are looking for these things to happen.

I am not so sure about this. 

We hear so much about things like sexual harassment and racist humour and such, where the perpetrator hides behind "I was joking" or "you are being too sensitive". It is a hat-trick of an a-hole move because not only have you insulted a person, but now you are making them second guess themselves and perhaps getting them in trouble for complaining.

Banter can be great amongst people who have all bought into it (though some people have a heck of a time knowing when to knock it off), but it should be used carefully.