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Topic: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)  (Read 4845 times)

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My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« on: May 15, 2003, 09:17:46 PM »
Just weighed myself this morning and discovered that I am a good 15 lbs. over my goal weight...how did this happen?
I used to be a sexy little slip of a girl, size 3 pants, etc etc..and I ate whatever junk I wanted, drank like a fish, stayed out all night.  
Then I met dh, who has a typical British love of sweets (which I used to almost completely avoid-just didn't like them) and, curse him, one of those incredibly fast "tall skinny man" metabolisms.
Then I got pg and gained 60 (yes, count them, 60!) pounds.  I am 5 foot 3.  I weighed 182 when she was born.
Lost all that, got down to 113, with liberal use of the above-mentioned Metabolife and lots of salad.  (See, I suspect that some of my previous size-3 weight loss was made possible by recreational use of, shall we say, an illegal form of Metabolife, so I thought I'd try the legal one, as I no longer have any interest in the latter.)
Now here I am again.  I have a Pilates machine, which is fantastic, but difficult to set up, and it's no fun to try to exercise in front of a 21-month old who thinks you look hysterically funny.
I have bad knees, so running is out, and it's too hot here to contemplate going outside anyway.  Our neighborhood has a pool, but again, aforementioned child doesn't make swimming possible.
I tried the Zone but it was too complicated.  Tried Atkins but after a week could not handle all the cooking, especially having to still prepare carbs for dh and dd.
So I am now trying just to cut calories and move around a bit more.  Instead of half a (small) container of ice cream after dinner, I'm having just a few spoonfuls.  I'm not going to have seconds anymore at dinner.  Drink more water, too.  (I read that you can lose up to 15 lbs. in a month JUST by drinking lots of cold water.)
Thoughts, anyone?
Also, has anyone tried those "fat blocker" and "carb blocker" pills?  I tried them briefly, they did seem to help, but I'm waiting to get the big containers until I have more info.
Why o why did I decide to have a baby?  I now have a big floppy tummy.  Most disgusting.  And difficult to hide.


Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2003, 07:25:27 PM »
I've had the Pilates machine (the Reformer-$500 from Spiegel back when we were a DINK family) for a few years.  When I first got it, I used it every day for a few weeks and was amazed at the difference, but then we got a new couch and there wasn't room for it, so into the closet it went until I recently dug it out again.  I've used it 2x this week, though, so I'm feeling pretty proud of myself!
You're very sweet to encourage me to not feel so bad-I do appreciate it.  The problem is, if that 15 lbs. was bigger boobs or hips it wouldn't bother me so much, but it's all in my tummy chin and arms.  My boobs have always been small and since the baby they aren't even perky anymore!  I have even less of a waist than I used to (I'm your classic apple-shaped woman, pretty straight up and down).
But it's encouraging to hear that you lost weight by cutting back on things instead of eliminating them, that's what I'm going to try now, and try to get the exercising up to 4 or 5 days a week.
Thanks!


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Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2003, 03:59:51 PM »
Hi SAF...kcg hit many of my own thoughts, so I will try not to repeat the issues...  I am a firm believer in a well balanced diet...  5 fruits and veggies a day...lots of water...and making yourself take the extra steps to get places...  Also to add in there...  A good practice to take is to eat Breakfast like a King, Lunch like a Queen and dinner like a pauper...  and try eating most of your fruites during the early part of the day so their sugars can break down easily.

I am not an expert...but I have been going around the diet-go-round for many years...  I have learned some from each one I tried...  and I do believe that each program has good habits and practices...  as well as some have some bad choices...  

1.5 years ago I decided that it was finally my time to go down for good...  I am a large boned woman, 5'7...  big feet the whole bit... at my smallest... by boobs will go down to a 40 d... LOL!...  so for me, this is a life long commitment that must succeed.  

I took my time and lost 60lbs the first year...   all I did was watch what I ate, counted my calories, fats, & carbs each day...and exercised...  I have been a very bad girl these past 6 months...  due to the stress of preparing to move, shipping, no money, waiting for divorce, and selling all that I loved as well as giving up my dog 2 months ago.  But, I have noted that I have not gained much back at all...  All because I kept up my exercise... walking, dancercise and weights.  That is no excuse for my eating habits of late though...  but the facts are real...  the weight did not pile on...  However, I do feel not as good as I was because of the foods I have been eating...  I have become more sluggish and my knees are hurting a lot again... and I have noted that my indigestion (reflux)? is back...  (too many bad carbs)  And I must gain control again...  I know I can now... from the habits I changed last year...  

Today is my rebirth to get back on track for good...  half of stress is gone now that I have moved to my sister's house...  all that is left is getting married and getting on the plane...  so now is the time to work down that wedding dress a size or two more...

Mostly, the one thing I have learned over the years...  you can not lose weight fast and expect it to be a healthy loss or a long time success.  Take your time...change things slowly...  it takes 21 days to change a habit by practicing faithfully daily. It does work...  

I wish you success as I do all here that are trying hard to accomplish their goals...  No matter if it is 5 lbs or over 100lbs...  All are important goals to each of us...  just think wisely before you try something new...  be patient...  and most of all...  Be your own best friend...  ALWAYS!  loving yourself is  more than half the battle.

I am always available to be a weight loss buddy...  support with others that are going through the same thing can be a great thing...I also know of a great support group online that is free to join if anyone wishes to... "http://groups.msn.com/WorriedaboutweightJointheclub/join"

Shel  [smiley=daisy.gif]
Logic is one thing, it keeps us in control!
But the heart only knows one, which is the  
depths of our soul!


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Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2003, 07:00:04 PM »
LOL Shel and kcg have covered everything I really had to say.  Just know that we're here for you (and with you) and let us know how it goes.  I've found that knowing the peeps on this list were looking out for me and actually cared for me...whether I posted a loss or a gain, is a huge help.  I want to do good next week (won't be weighing this week, I'm too busy) to make them (and me darnit) proud. ;)
[smiley=hug.gif]
wench
Ask and ye shall be babbled at.


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Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2003, 07:02:47 PM »
One thing I have come to realize about losing weight is that 5 lbs to someone is 50 lbs to someone else. It's all about how we feel about ourselves.  

Bad thing is....it's not really about the weight, it's about self esteem and how we view our size.  

When I was thin I thought I was fat.  When I got fat  I thought...I could be worse.  When I got worse I thought I am no longer looking in the mirror and will hide.  Then one day I snapped and lost half.... got to the I could be worse stage and started eating again so now here I am at the most overweight I have ever been.

Too bad I did not think that 5 to 20 lbs was bad, or I would not be where I am now.  

I swear that once I get to goal I am going to live on my scale and in my clothes.  If I gain 5 lbs I will fight like hell to get it back down.  

I am not happy nor healthy being fat.

It makes me miserable which makes my family miserable.  

Of course I have the goal of having a child so makes it a bit weird that I am losing only to gain.  Then again I plan on watching what I eat so as to not gain too much.

SAF don't beat yourself up and continue to work on it.  Just realize though that having a child changes your body and so does getting older.  Women have estrogen and it does like to keep fat.  (The men in our group lose 6 or 10 lbs in a week, while us women are happy with a pound or two!)

You sound like you are doing it the right way now!  You go girl!
and stay away from the pills... they screw up your metabolism and make you fatter in the end.....trust me ....tried them all.

In the meantime think of strech marks and flab as a sign of pride...you created a life... don't  you think all those actresses and models who have had kids have them?  They are lucky to have air brushed fotos and personal trainers.

Just do those crunches....

Did you all realize that we can't have perfectly flat tummies anyway?  Our muscles are rounder in shape than mens..





The wiring in our brain is not static, not irrevocably fixed.  Our brains are adaptable. -Mattieu Ricard

Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn. -Benjamin Franklin

I have long since come to believe that people never mean half of what they say, and that it is best to disregard their talk and judge only their actions. -D.Day


Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2003, 07:54:30 PM »
Again, thanks.  Maybe I should explain that my self-deprecating title was meant to be a bit humorous.  I know I'm not enormous.  I don't actually have self-esteem quite as low as perhaps some of you have, in your kindness, been accidentally led to believe.  This is my fault and it is really touching to see how supportive you all are.

Thanks too for the advice.  Of course, dh and I went grocery shopping yesterday and bought tons of crap, but I'm hoping again to keep it low, not all the ice cream, just a few spoonfuls, not all the chips, just a few, etc.

I'm also making a big effort to drink more water instead of soda, which cuts at least 2 or 3 hundred calories a day (Diet Coke and other diet drinks, like Crystal Light, give me migraines, so I drink the real stuff.  Although I used to mix them half-and-half and that was OK.)

I did actually lose a pound last week, but I don't know if it's from my new regimen, or just that I was a bit water bloaty the week before. :-[

Although, I have to admit, I think part of my problem is that it's so hard for me to accept being a toddler's unglamorous Mommy, instead of what I was.  Maybe that's part of the reason my weight has become such an issue for me.  Intellectually I know I'm not that big, and I can look at myself in the mirror when we go out places and think I look anwhere from fine to great.  But I guess the wright has become connected with "boring" in my mind.  Plus, my Mom has had weight issues all my life and I don't want to look like her.

Anyone know anything about a martial art called Krav Maga?  I'd love to try it.


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Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #6 on: May 21, 2003, 05:12:42 AM »
This is from an old article but interesting none the less.  Brings to mind another study about how African American girls have a higher view of self than American white girls.  Even those that are overweight.  I remember when my students from Laos used to talk to me... to them chubby was a sign of good health and wealth.  Hee hee. ;D

SAF -seems the humor got lost, but I am glad that you know you aren't that bad.... :) Hard to tell sometimes on the net...

By the way.. I agree with the heat thing... and ya'll are hotter there than we are.... actually looking forward to cooler temps in the UK... seasons would be nice.

Ouch about that M. Arts thing..still get in shape and be able to protect yourself....hmmmmm ;D

Anyway here's an article.... old but interesting.

It takes effort -- and maybe anorexia -- to be model-thin July 21, 1998

ELLEN CREAGER
Free Press Staff Writer

When model Christie Brinkley needs to get skinny, she consumes a liquid diet of fruit and vegetable juices.


Waif-like ice skater Peggy Fleming eats a slice of toast for breakfast and a half-cup of rice for dinner.


Model Elle Macpherson chooses between lunch or dinner, but not both. She also does 500 sit-ups a day.


You want to look like a model or movie star?


Have the body mass index of an 8-year-old.


Models and female movie stars' dubious secrets of fitness and dieting are shared by author and former model Diane Irons in her new book, "The World's Best-Kept Diet Secrets" (Sourcebooks, $14.95).


"The difference is, their looks have become their fortune, so they have pulled every trick in the book to get thin and stay there. Their livelihood depends on it," Irons says.


While Irons' book is fascinating because it dares to share the outrageous measures to which models and actresses will go to stay slim, a more alarming new report comes from Dr. Patricia Owen, professor of psychology at St. Mary's University in San Antonio.


Just about the time the government was compiling its sobering information about fat Americans and hefty BMIs, Owen and graduate student Erika Lauren compiled 500 models' statistics from the Web sites of modeling agencies and collected measurements of Playboy centerfolds from 1985 to 1997. They calculated the BMIs of both groups.


The result? One-quarter of each group met the American Psychological Association's weight criteria for anorexia nervosa -- a BMI of 17.5 or below. Virtually all the centerfolds were underweight, and so were three-quarters of the models. Centerfolds have gotten increasingly thinner and less curvy over the years.


"If these models are exemplars of beauty, then the measure for women is that to be beautiful, starvation-level thinness is required," Owen says.


BMI figures compiled by the Free Press from Irons' book and celebrity Web sites confirm Owen's research and extend it to actresses.


Actresses Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz and singer Diana Ross all have BMIs under 17.5.


Supermodels Kate Moss, Niki Taylor and Elle Macpherson have BMIs under 17 and exist at "third world starvation BMI criteria," Owen says.


Lisa Dergan, Playboy's Miss July, has a BMI of 18.3, which is underweight and typical of centerfolds, whose BMIs hover at 18.2 in Owen's research (however, Michigan's Karen McDougal, 27, became 1998 Playmate of the Year with a healthy BMI of 19). Very few weight and height statistics are available for heavier actors and actresses.


In light of the new National Institutes of Health report on American obesity, the figures are ironic.


"The models are getting skinnier and skinnier, and we're getting fatter," Owen says.


"And women think, if the models are beautiful, what does that make me?"


Sane, perhaps?

« Last Edit: May 21, 2003, 05:14:22 AM by vnicepeeps »
The wiring in our brain is not static, not irrevocably fixed.  Our brains are adaptable. -Mattieu Ricard

Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn. -Benjamin Franklin

I have long since come to believe that people never mean half of what they say, and that it is best to disregard their talk and judge only their actions. -D.Day


Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2003, 05:15:12 PM »
Very interesting article...hmm.

My goal is to be about 110.  I am, as I said, 5'3.  This actually puts me slightly (by 3 lbs.) underweight (well, according to Weight Watchers anyway), but since I spent a lot of time at 110 I'm not too concerned about that.  I am always amazed, though, to read that So-and-so weighs 110 and is 4 inches taller than me...that does seem a bit much to me.

I can't wait to get to the UK, because then I can take walks!  Whenever we're there we walk everywhere, it's so much nicer to walk there, especially because our neighborhood here, like most Florida neighborhoods, is very boring.  Nothing to see.  It's completely flat and treeless, and it's only May and we've already been in the 90's most of the month.

I'm sorry, but when I go to get my mail and start sweating, it's too hot. :D

I've actually always been interested in taking some kind of martial art, and fencing.  I would LOVE to take fencing.  I feel a little wierd about it though...I don't know if I could draw so much attention to myself in a class and feel comfortable doing odd things in front of other people.  I love to get attention when I'm out, looking pretty, but all sweaty and gross...I dunno.
But there's a place near me that just opened and they offer a free class, so maybe I will ask the hubby what he thinks and give it a go.


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Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2003, 05:00:55 PM »
I would love to take a martial arts class...  just not sure my knees will allow it.  

I really would like to take a kick boxing class too...  

my desires to learn in the next year...

yoga
kickboxing
one martial art, not sure which one though... any advise on good one's? want one that is good with mind and body
Logic is one thing, it keeps us in control!
But the heart only knows one, which is the  
depths of our soul!


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Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2003, 03:29:44 AM »
Man, I thought I was the only one with weight problems.  In high school I was sort of average...not fat but not thin either...then I got mononucleosis when I was 16 and lost a lot of weight.  I liked the way I looked, so I tried to lose more and more and when I couldn't do it through diet or exercise, I took laxatives and diuretics.  It got to the point where I was running a  mile and a half a day on 700 calories and weighing myself 5 times a day.  This went on for a while...I graduated from high school at 17 and went to spend the summer in France, where I got down to 98 pounds (I'm big-boned and 5'5").  You could see the vertebrae and everything.  It got to the point where I was simply refusing to eat.  For my 18th birthday my host brother and sister took me out drinking.  I hadn't had a thing to eat in the 36 hours before that and had 10 tequila shots.  I managed to walk out of the bar, but I collapsed a few feet outside the door and promptly started convulsing.  I had to be taken to the emergency room for treatment for alcohol poisoning and the doctor there told my host sister that I was anorexic.  It hadn't even occurred to me.  The rest of the summer was spent with me alternately collapsing from exhaustion and malnutrition and my very annoyed host parents and host siblings basically force-feeding me.  I hit rock bottom when I started college and couldn't fit into the new clothes I'd bought...they were size 4 and they were all tent-like on me.  I was a size 0-1 and I looked like a starving refugee.  I got depressed and started eating again...and didn't stop.

10 years later, I weigh twice what I did when I started college and then some.  I couldn't stand to look at myself in a mirror then and I can't stand it now.  I was in denial for so long about how big I was getting that I refused to step on a scale for years and paid no attention to my diet.  Now I'm going to a gym and trying to change my eating habits, but it's hard.  I am trying though.

Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church, and the private schools, supported entirely by private contributions. Keep the church and the state forever separated. -- Ulysses S. Grant


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Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #10 on: August 04, 2003, 06:36:39 PM »
Quote
Man, I thought I was the only one with weight problems.  In high school I was sort of average...not fat but not thin either...then I got mononucleosis when I was 16 and lost a lot of weight.  I liked the way I looked, so I tried to lose more and more and when I couldn't do it through diet or exercise, I took laxatives and diuretics.  It got to the point where I was running a  mile and a half a day on 700 calories and weighing myself 5 times a day.  This went on for a while...I graduated from high school at 17 and went to spend the summer in France, where I got down to 98 pounds (I'm big-boned and 5'5").  You could see the vertebrae and everything.  It got to the point where I was simply refusing to eat.  For my 18th birthday my host brother and sister took me out drinking.  I hadn't had a thing to eat in the 36 hours before that and had 10 tequila shots.  I managed to walk out of the bar, but I collapsed a few feet outside the door and promptly started convulsing.  I had to be taken to the emergency room for treatment for alcohol poisoning and the doctor there told my host sister that I was anorexic.  It hadn't even occurred to me.  The rest of the summer was spent with me alternately collapsing from exhaustion and malnutrition and my very annoyed host parents and host siblings basically force-feeding me.  I hit rock bottom when I started college and couldn't fit into the new clothes I'd bought...they were size 4 and they were all tent-like on me.  I was a size 0-1 and I looked like a starving refugee.  I got depressed and started eating again...and didn't stop.

10 years later, I weigh twice what I did when I started college and then some.  I couldn't stand to look at myself in a mirror then and I can't stand it now.  I was in denial for so long about how big I was getting that I refused to step on a scale for years and paid no attention to my diet.  Now I'm going to a gym and trying to change my eating habits, but it's hard.  I am trying though.



Stacey, your telling this story was very brave...and very good for yourself...  I can not even imagine what it would be like to go through such eating disorders...  but I am glad to say that I am able to respond to you today...  because you are still with us.

making the correct changes in our life to eat right is very hard...  and as long as we all realize that it is hard, and work off of that...then seeing the end of the tunnel is not so bad... it takes a stong commitment to change the way you do things... inner strength and appraisal of oneself... even if you cheat 3 or more times a day....  keep continuing to bully yourself and do not give up...  things may not work as fast with the cheating...but in the long run...you are still changing your habits...and one day...  you will find that you are no longer cheating...  (at least that is what I have convinced myself)  that and making sure you do a sensible workout often even f it is a little bit every day.
Logic is one thing, it keeps us in control!
But the heart only knows one, which is the  
depths of our soul!


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Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2003, 10:59:46 AM »
Quote


Stacey, your telling this story was very brave...and very good for yourself...  I can not even imagine what it would be like to go through such eating disorders...  but I am glad to say that I am able to respond to you today...  because you are still with us.

making the correct changes in our life to eat right is very hard...  and as long as we all realize that it is hard, and work off of that...then seeing the end of the tunnel is not so bad... it takes a stong commitment to change the way you do things... inner strength and appraisal of oneself... even if you cheat 3 or more times a day....  keep continuing to bully yourself and do not give up...  things may not work as fast with the cheating...but in the long run...you are still changing your habits...and one day...  you will find that you are no longer cheating...  (at least that is what I have convinced myself)  that and making sure you do a sensible workout often even f it is a little bit every day.


I think I'm one of those people that's always going to have problems with food and their weight.  I basically had to kill myself to get acceptably thin.  When I look at pictures of myself back then, I think I looked terrible; tired, sunken eyes, sunken cheeks, slouching...my hair would never shine and my skin was peeling off in huge flakes...but I was thin.  What really kills me is how my grandmother tells me how good I used to look and why don't I try to get that thin again?  She hasn't seen me in 2 years (since my wedding) and when I last talked to her and told her I hadn't lost any weight since she last saw me, she sounded really disappointed.  So that doesn't help.  After I gained a lot of weight my father and brother started calling me "fatty" and "cottage cheese thighs."  Strangers are FAR more supportive than my own family!


Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church, and the private schools, supported entirely by private contributions. Keep the church and the state forever separated. -- Ulysses S. Grant


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Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2003, 04:17:44 PM »
Quote


I think I'm one of those people that's always going to have problems with food and their weight.  I basically had to kill myself to get acceptably thin.


I understand...  there are some of us that seem to literally need to stop eating to get any results...  I am or was one of them...  I still have much to lose...  but I actually saw last year for the first time that it was not really true...  if I keep constant track of what I eat... and make 98% of it healthy...  and if I work out basically 5 times a week...  I can and will loose weight... it is a 100% effort for those of us with this problem... the difference is that I can not alieviate from that plan until I am at goal...  and that is my next goal...  to keep at it until goal time and not before...  I have mastered how to stay on a program and not lose or gain...LOL  but that does not help when you have a lot to lose.

Quote
What really kills me is how my grandmother tells me how good I used to look and why don't I try to get that thin again?  She hasn't seen me in 2 years (since my wedding) and when I last talked to her and told her I hadn't lost any weight since she last saw me, she sounded really disappointed.  So that doesn't help.  After I gained a lot of weight my father and brother started calling me "fatty" and "cottage cheese thighs."  Strangers are FAR more supportive than my own family!


Well, this is unfortunately very normal...  most families feel that they are comfortable enough to say whatever they wish to you...  whether it be out of joking or thinking that they are being helpful...  what they do not think or see is that their words are more damaging to us than a strangers words... And our self esteem gets punished by it...  even from the tiniest of words from them.

I have come to full cirlce here with my family...and I just tell them right back...  please stop, you are hurting me more with your words than the support you think you are offering...  if you would just love me completely..as I am, I will be able to focus more on my needs without feeling bad about myself on top of it.
Logic is one thing, it keeps us in control!
But the heart only knows one, which is the  
depths of our soul!


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Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2003, 06:06:10 PM »
Hugs to Shel and Stacey.  I'm sure that both of you will get to your goals.  :)  

And mental a** kickings to any and all unsupportive family members.

wench
Ask and ye shall be babbled at.


Re: My Weight-loss Odyssey(Why am I so fat?)
« Reply #14 on: August 07, 2003, 07:02:03 PM »
So far I've lost 3 lbs...just by cutting out (most) sweet snacks...I still let myself once in a while, like a few Teddy Grahams if I'm really hungry.
Also, no more seconds at dinner!!!!  That's made a big difference, I think.  I'm starting to find that one serving is enough to make me full, which is great.


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