Refused at Gatwick in March, reentering via bus 6 months later

that's a good question! i've been asking myself lately, but in reality we've only been together about a year. and to him "that's crazy" -__-

It is.  It's completely crazy.  It's a flash back to marriage based on short courtships and not living together before marriage that happened decades ago.

It's also the world of immigration where such decisions are necessary and quite common.  Why should you have to carry the entire burden of your relationship?  Your job and lifestyle are up in the air as well as your immigration status and security in a country while your partner has a stable place to live and income which they are refusing to share with you to ease your burden.

I had the option to study in the UK and get myself into thousands of debt while my partner and I tested the relationship.  However that wouldn't have resulted in any clear path with long-term rights for me so we made the decision to marry and got engaged after 18 months dating and when he was only 20 years old.

I get that your partner isn't ready and it's not a decision to take lightly, but it's not great that the burden is all yours and your partner is "kicking up a mad fuss" at assisting someone he loves and ultimately himself assuming he wants the relationship to continue.

The refusal before is likely to result in another unless you have a vistor's visa in advance.  The plane ticket is probably money down the tube.

It is.  It's completely crazy.  It's a flash back to marriage based on short courtships and not living together before marriage that happened decades ago.

It's also the world of immigration where such decisions are necessary and quite common.  Why should you have to carry the entire burden of your relationship?  Your job and lifestyle are up in the air as well as your immigration status and security in a country while your partner has a stable place to live and income which they are refusing to share with you to ease your burden.

I had the option to study in the UK and get myself into thousands of debt while my partner and I tested the relationship.  However that wouldn't have resulted in any clear path with long-term rights for me so we made the decision to marry and got engaged after 18 months dating and when he was only 20 years old.

I get that your partner isn't ready and it's not a decision to take lightly, but it's not great that the burden is all yours and your partner is "kicking up a mad fuss" at assisting someone he loves and ultimately himself assuming he wants the relationship to continue.

The refusal before is likely to result in another unless you have a vistor's visa in advance.  The plane ticket is probably money down the tube.

Well we are almost certain i won't be turned away, i am there for a short stay and a letter from my employer.. and i have all the documents i need to go in for the week. But I'm happy you understand my frustration, I actually turned down the education route because of the debt and also the fear if i were to flunk out, i would be sent back. But it's extremely difficult to endure this pain, nonetheless it being a factor to deteriorate my health. I'm 23, i was healthy before... I shouldn't be having blood clots near my heart, but thats what the first refusal has done for us. It just made me sick that another immigration officer after the one that picked the problem said he was new and wanted some excitement.. everyone working there at that moment said i shouldn't have been detained and it was wrong despite my boyfriend calling his work to confirm his income as a sponsor. He's gonna try to move to the states, if not we are getting a spouse visa. I can't live my life like this, i have my future put on hold and it isn't fair to me. It just bothers me a lot when he's living life of luxury and I'm living like a hopeless hobo because of him. But i NEVER want to live in the uk after seeing how many LEGIT relationships get screwed over and couples torn apart even when MARRIED. and it just angers me hearing people and seeing people get into that country on fake marriages and are able to stay. Which reminds me, I have a name of a Brazilian girl who is arriving in February, what makes me want to report it is her laughing about how couples get split apart but how she's gonna be able to stay, nope calling Eaton house ASAP once I'm in. If i can't even VISIT not to live but visit and she is moving there illegally, no chance.

I'm happy forums like this exist. it's a relief in a sense to see people going through the same struggle and to know I'm not alone doing this. It's beyond painful and unhealthy. but then again the immigration doesn't see that, they only see people trying to get in, not ones who love...

But i NEVER want to live in the uk after seeing how many LEGIT relationships get screwed over and couples torn apart even when MARRIED. and it just angers me hearing people and seeing people get into that country on fake marriages and are able to stay. 

I mean this in the nicest possible way, though I'm aware that nothing good has ever followed those words in the history of the world.

Legit relationships are scrutinised and turned away everywhere, not just the UK.  It happens in the US and other Western countries while fake ones sometimes get in under the radar.  No system is perfect.  And the US system is harsher to get in.

Keep in mind, it's not personal, visas are a tick box exercise.  Ranting and raving doesn't help.  You tick the boxes, you get in.  You don't, you're questioned, detained and perhaps rejected.  A rejection with a further attempt is a flag to follow up.

I certainly hope you do get in for your short visit.

Regardless of whatever happens, would you please make sure and come back and let us know the outcome?

We would like you to get in the country for your short stay, of course. But if you don't, we might be able to help you with some next steps.

And in any case, this forum depends on data points like this to say to people, "Okay, here's what can happen. For example, back in 2014, such and such happened with so and so who was trying to do exactly what you would like to do."

So good luck. Hope it works out. And yeah, blood clots suck. As someone who's also been there, they're no fun!

I couldn't thank you two enough for your kind words.
this forum is wonderful! And yes!!!! I certainly will keep you guys
posted. Please say a prayer for me to whom ever your god is
before you lay your head to rest that i get in.

I just want to see the man I love dearly
I want to sleep next to my best friend
and tell him i love him every day that I'm there :/

this is some PS I love you sh*t, but he isn't a dead irish man lol
though immigration makes me die literally on the inside. -___-

much love x

s h i t . s.h.i.t

it said shoot. shoot -__-

Regardless of whatever happens, would you please make sure and come back and let us know the outcome?

We would like you to get in the country for your short stay, of course. But if you don't, we might be able to help you with some next steps.

And in any case, this forum depends on data points like this to say to people, "Okay, here's what can happen. For example, back in 2014, such and such happened with so and so who was trying to do exactly what you would like to do."

So good luck. Hope it works out. And yeah, blood clots suck. As someone who's also been there, they're no fun!

last night was magic seeing him at arrival.
i got detained again & interviewed (3 hours). And apparently I got the toughest officer. They reset my 6 months! The people there were really nice. They escorted me to smoke (you're never allowed one). Some how, I had a very lucky day. But I'm safe for awaiting my visa. I had the appropriate money & documents. Never get a new passport if you get any negative stamp they will always see it. I didn't get a new one "why lie".

But yeah guys, lucky day
so blessed!

Writing this as i drink a cup of tea

Enjoy your stay.   

thanks!
apparently this happened last night where i went through the day before...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34432386

Glad you made it through okay .

thanks!
apparently this happened last night where i went through the day before...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34432386

Don't think you can really compare their situation with yours though...

- you were a tourist coming to the UK for a visit to see your boyfriend, before returning to the Netherlands where you will be living and working.

- the migrants in Calais are camping out and trying to move to the UK illegally by breaking into the Eurostar terminal.

Your only issue was that you had been refused entry before and there was a chance that because you hadn't applied for a visitor visa in advance you might be refused again... while the Calais migrants are trying to break the law in order to live a better life in the UK without a visa.

No kidding, I think it just was a good day for them. They decided to be nice


That's bad advice

That's bad advice

I too am intrigued by this little sign-off thing. I keep thinking of like an investment TV show where at the end the guy says, "Now that's bad advice....".

But your user name is also "bad advice".....which leaves me wondering if the snappy end-tag somehow references that.

It's sort of sh*tty, yet, I think, is mysterious enough not to cross the line into total a$$holeishness...

I will allow it.

I will allow it.

In a similar vein, I am sort of thinking of using "I will allow it".

In a similar vein, I am sort of thinking of using "I will allow it".

Only with a dismissive wave of the hand.

Only with a dismissive wave of the hand.

I was thinking that, or getting some reading glasses and wearing them about halfway down my nose and glaring over the top of them...