Hello
Guest

Sponsored Links


Topic: The Possibility of Moving Back  (Read 1246 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

  • wench
  • Gin-soaked Floozie
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1849

  • Caution: wench on board
    • Wenchstead
  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Jul 2002
  • Location: Feltham
The Possibility of Moving Back
« on: October 03, 2015, 01:53:38 PM »
This has been a weird freaking week. I've lived in the UK for nearly 16 years now, and started University last week. Everything was going well, much better than it has in a long time. I had a good idea of what our future held, and how I was going to get there.

Then on Sunday my MiL passed away. We live with her. It was awful. But we've had it confirmed that it was sudden & there was nothing we could have done.

She died intestate. The good news is hubby is automatically next of kin. The bad news is there is an estranged sister somewhere who is legally entitled to half. I doubt we'll be able to keep the house. Realistically I expect it will have to be sold & half given to her.

That leaves us...kind of screwed. At least, if we try to stay in the UK. However, half a London house would most likely be enough to buy a house in Iowa outright & leave us with a frankly ludicrous bank balance while we got our bearings.

I feel...weird about this. Very sad about MiL's passing. But overwhelmed by the possibility of living near my family. (I've only been able to visit 4 times!) Looking at the boards here, and discussing it with my family back home, this seems not only doable, but more sensible then trying to stay here. Except of course, for the fact that I have Rheumatoid Arthritis (amongst other conditions) and I don't know if we'll be able to afford the medical care I need in the long term.

I just...wanted somewhere to vent & type this all out.

Thanks


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Ask and ye shall be babbled at.


  • *
  • Posts: 15

  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Jun 2007
  • Location: London
Re: The Possibility of Moving Back
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2015, 01:40:54 PM »
Wow, that's quite a week. I don't really have any advice but just to say that I understand where you're coming from with the thoughts of moving back. My partner and I are also in London and it is an impossibility for us to buy here so Ohio is starting to look far more appealing than it used to. Good luck xx


  • wench
  • Gin-soaked Floozie
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1849

  • Caution: wench on board
    • Wenchstead
  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Jul 2002
  • Location: Feltham
Re: The Possibility of Moving Back
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2015, 01:51:06 PM »
Thank you. I think my mind is going in about a million different directions.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Ask and ye shall be babbled at.


  • *
  • Posts: 15124

  • Liked: 3499
  • Joined: Jun 2012
  • Location: Wokingham
Re: The Possibility of Moving Back
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2015, 02:26:42 PM »
Very sorry to hear about your MIL.

I would recommend not making any big life changes for many many months.  I've always heard a year is a good rule of thumb.  It will likely take that long for the estate to be divided anyways.

I think it's good to look at all possibilities though and a move to the US might be fantastic for you both.  Just be sure to not jump into a quick decision.

Thoughts with you during this difficult time!


  • *
  • Posts: 760

  • It's an adventure now.
  • Liked: 22
  • Joined: Feb 2006
Re: The Possibility of Moving Back
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2015, 07:38:55 PM »
So sorry to hear about your MIL. That's a difficult thing to go through.

My advice to you is this -- don't make any decisions until you have to. Yes, you may wind up with a whopping great bank balance in the hot property market and that's awesome, but believe me the decisions *we* made when my MIL passed were not the best ones, and some of that was down to not thinking clearly out of grief.

The post advising a year is a great one. I wish I'd listened to that five years ago!


  • wench
  • Gin-soaked Floozie
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1849

  • Caution: wench on board
    • Wenchstead
  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Jul 2002
  • Location: Feltham
Re: The Possibility of Moving Back
« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2015, 12:07:20 AM »
Thanks peeps. I'll wait & see. My main focus right now is getting my husband through this & keeping us safe. I don't know what the future is going to bring, or what my husband will want to do. But the more I think on it, the more I want to be near my family. We'll see.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Ask and ye shall be babbled at.


  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 14813

  • Also known as PB&J ;-)
  • Liked: 373
  • Joined: Sep 2007
  • Location: :-D
Re: The Possibility of Moving Back
« Reply #6 on: October 08, 2015, 12:29:40 PM »
Sorry about your MIL, how very sad.
However, I definitely agree that you should take your time, see what happens through the whole legal proceedings and use this time to see how you can make the best of it all.  Good luck  :)
I've never gotten food on my underpants!
Work permit (2007) to British Citizen (2014)
You're stuck with me!


  • *
  • Posts: 16

  • Liked: 3
  • Joined: Jan 2011
Re: The Possibility of Moving Back
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2015, 12:04:07 AM »
So sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. 

I just wanted to give a small piece of advice about moving to the US for the housing...

Of course, London is ridiculous and the London fringe is quickly matching the prices of the inner-city.  However, please don't let that be a factor of moving back to the states.

My husband and I just moved back to my home state of Florida for the same reason and have been miserable.  True the housing is more affordable, but we can't cope with the lifestyle.  We didn't realize how different the culture and way of life is.  If you can, try looking away from London for houses.  They are surprisingly affordable once you get outside of the commuter belt.  You'll never get as much land or square footage as in the states, but if that doesn't bother you, there are plenty of good options.

Best wishes with everything.


  • *
  • Posts: 1215

  • Liked: 58
  • Joined: Jun 2011
  • Location: Congleton, Cheshire
Re: The Possibility of Moving Back
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2015, 08:41:21 AM »
Very sorry about the MIL. I too will add my voice to the 'don't decide anything' right now; a bereavement brings a multitude of feelings that will change as the immediate raw feelings/reaction starts to settle.

As you've been away for 16 years and have only visited the US 4 times, you are likely to find that the US of your memories has changed a LOT. It may be fine for you, but returning to an ever increasingly fast-paced US lifestyle will likely be a shock. And with a chronic health issue, the cost of health care alone can be far more than you might 'save' buying  cheaper house.

Good luck - but don't jump into anything. The old saying of 'act in haste, repent in leisure' has definitely been true throughout my life. Others' mileage ma vary.
Married December 1992 (my 'old flame' whom I first met in the mid-70s)
1st move to UK - 1993 (Letter of Consent granted at British Embassy in Washington DC)
ILR - 1994 (1 year later - no fee way back then!)
Back to US in 2000
Returned to UK July 2011 (Spousal Visa/KOL endorsement)
ILR - September 2011
Application for naturalization submitted July 2014
Approval received 15-10-14; ceremony scheduled for 10 November!
Passport arrived 25 November 2014. Finally done!


Sponsored Links





 

coloured_drab