Things that will make no sense to you, no matter how long you live in Britain

For my latest blog I thought about the things that never get easier or never make any sense to expats living in Britain, no matter how long you live here:

http://expatclaptrap.com/thats-numberwang-9-british-things-that-make-no-sense/

For my latest blog I thought about the things that never get easier or never make any sense to expats living in Britain, no matter how long you live here:

http://expatclaptrap.com/thats-numberwang-9-british-things-that-make-no-sense/

Good article.  Leaseholds are on the land the property sits on, you still own the actual property and leaseholds are renewed fairly inexpensively usually.

Loved it!!!  Absolutely true.... all of it.   

I've made the mistake of asking my British spouse to explain the rules of cricket to me....

... no relationship can withstand such a monologue, and I'll never do it again... 

Absolutely true.... all of it.   

Nope. 
Property in ENGLAND is sold either leasehold or freehold... not property in BRITAIN.
This system is not used in Scotland.

Nope. 
Property in ENGLAND is sold either leasehold or freehold... not property in BRITAIN.
This system is not used in Scotland.

Umm, my comment was meant to be more flippant than absolutely accurate.  However, your point is taken. 

Umm, my comment was meant to be more flippant than absolutely accurate.  However, your point is taken. 

My point wasn't specifically for you to take, since you are not the one who dished up the incorrect information.  I apologise if quoting you made you feel otherwise!
I was just a bit peeved by your enthusiastic support of the OP's blog, which I don't enjoy, and normally try to avoid.   Today has been a good reminder of this, ...and I won't make this mistake again!

Sorry Becca! 

My point wasn't specifically for you to take, since you are not the one who dished up the incorrect information.  I apologise if quoting you made you feel otherwise!
I was just a bit peeved by your enthusiastic support of the OP's blog, which I don't enjoy, and normally try to avoid.   Today has been a good reminder of this, ...and I won't make this mistake again!

Sorry Becca! 

Thanks for explaining, now it makes sense.   

I was focused on the cricket comment, because that game completely confuses me, and my experience trying to get my husband to explain it to me is one I'll never, ever, repeat. I simply don't have that kind of focus anymore.   

To be fair, I've never done all that well trying to understand American football either....

To be fair, I've never done all that well trying to understand American football either....

But the thing with American football, or football (soccer), or rugby.....it is sort of self-evident what is happening. A Martian could land, and within a few minutes figure out that each group owns an end of the field, and if you get that roundish thing down there and over the line or in the little pen....the number on the scoreboard goes up and everybody cheers.

Cricket on the other hand....

I also am made a bit uncomfortable sometimes by this sort of satire - I guess that is the point of it. But with things like the class question....you know, so what if people are disturbed. This fascination with class is terribly destructive.

And it poisons almost everything. The person with the cure to cancer may well be walking among us, but due to having the wrong accent or whatever, may be excluded from the scientific community.  It causes (like racism and sexism) an unforgivable waste of human capital....as well as individual misery.

Britain certainly didn't invent it, but it does exist here in a potent form.

While I do get the occasional chuckle out of the blog, I have to admit I get pretty annoyed, at times, by the continuous, unthinking use of 'Britain' or 'British' in place of 'England' or 'English.'  (And, in at least one instance I can recall off the top of my head, implying something is 'American' when it must be just a NYC or East Coast thing.)

I get that the blogger, being American, has less reason than most other London/Southeasterners to be aware of anything outside the Home Counties.  But it's not like it's exactly difficult to learn that the UK is a diverse place, and that they do things differently from place to place, and that some people are a bit particular about that.

So while I get that the blogger isn't actively trying to oppress anyone, I still feel oddly let-down by what seems to be sheer laziness in what could, otherwise, be a pretty good blog.

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I will try to be less "home-county"-centric and not say "British" when I mean "English."

As for the tone/professionalism of the content- it's a satire blog and I apologise if anyone takes the tone as bitter, rather than pointed or funny.  Humour is definitely not a perfect science. I definitely thought blogging about the inscrutability of The House of Lords, cricket and driving dogs was safer territory than my pretend guest blog from a Liechtensteiner, which did really seem to annoy some people.

My goal is to satirise America just as much as the UK, but since I live here, it's only natural that Britain is more prominent in my consciousness and on my blog.

Trust me - I love Britain and I love living here. We satirise the things we care about.

How about council tax?  I find it baffling that they expect me to pay my landlord's property tax!  If the tax is based on the value of a property, it only makes sense that the owner should pay it. 


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How about council tax?  I find it baffling that they expect me to pay my landlord's property tax!  If the tax is based on the value of a property, it only makes sense that the owner should pay it. 

That is a good point. But it would just be factored in with rent if was shifted to the owner.

Fully taxing the income would be better....but I think that would be passed on too.

I think at the moment, the whole property system is being propped up at the expense of savers, the young and small business.

Also, what about empty retail space? A few years back, my local butcher said he was shutting down because the landlord wanted to raise the rent .  In a few weeks he was gone and the shop was empty. 

That shop has been empty for 10 years!  How does that make sense?  The landlord goes from making less than he wanted each month to making nothing for 10 years.  That's economic suicide.  It couldn't have been a surprise as there were plenty of empty shops on the high street at the time.


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#6 - Dogs that Drive. Oh yes. I have made this mistake many times! Also, putting children in booster or safety seats is totally the norm here, so I've found myself going, "OMG that 4 year old is driving a car! Oh wait...no...passenger...all is fine. Go about your business."

#7 Leasehold/Freehold. I do know that we had leased land in Arizona and you could "buy" a property on land with, I don't know, 60 years left on the lease, before it reverted back to ASU or whomever owned it. This isn't new to me in England, but I still don't understand why people would do it, as you *could* end up with nothing if the lease expires on you. And the whole "upward chain" thing, where apparently, people don't have to actually sell you their house that is for sale if they can't find another house to move in before your sale is completed? What's up with that?!

My favorite (my UK computer is always telling me I'm spelling that incorrectly!), #4. My DH is so hung up on accents and the class system. Most of the people where I live (between Coventry and Birmingham) are so hung up on whether people sound like they're Brummy (Birmingham) or Chavvy (Coventry). Each finds the others' accent abhorrent. I went to get my hair cut and the ladies started talking about the "horrible Brummy accent" and the poor woman cutting my hair said, "well, sure if you have a TRUE Brummy accent, but I don't think MY Brummy accent is really that noticeable!" My DH is SO GLAD our kids go to school in Coventry and not Brum because of the terrible accent and I just want to say, "ok, but as long as they learn to pronounce TH as "TH" and not "F" (eg: "everyfink") and can also say "sixth" properly (not "sik-th"), we'll be ok.

Anyway, long story short, thanks for the laugh...I needed it today. I totally took it as satire, which is how I think it was meant!

How about council tax?  I find it baffling that they expect me to pay my landlord's property tax!  If the tax is based on the value of a property, it only makes sense that the owner should pay it. 

Paying the landlord's property tax?  I have always considered council tax to be paying for local services like rubbish collection, police, fire services, parks & recreation, libraries, street lighting... stuff like that.  In Scotland, our water is included in our council tax.  I wouldn't expect my landlord to pay if I want to have 6 chin-deep baths a day!
I have no idea what 'property tax' pays for in the US... does it pay for the services I've mentioned?