This thread reminds me of my father. My dad is a 'pillar of the community' type. He helps everyone who needs it and is kind and generous to all his neighbors. However, he is not fond of dogs or dog walkers who allow their dogs to relieve themselves on other people's lawns. He often pulled a full Victor Meldrew on several dog-walkers in our neighborhood when I was in my early 20s. To be fair, they all picked up after their dogs. However, my Dad didn't want the dogs pooping or peeing on our front lawn because, as he says, 'You can't pick up pee!" and he always thought that even if they picked up poop, they wouldn't get all of it. My Dad swore there was something about our house and lawn that lured the dogs to bathroom on it.
One time my mother and I were in the house. My father spied a woman walking her dog, who began to relieve itself on our front lawn. He shot out the front door while my mother and I stayed inside, listening through an open window. He berated the woman, who defended herself by saying she was going to pick it up.
He yelled, 'I don't care! Let your dog sh*t in your own yard! I don't want my daughter (my sis was about 6 at the time) cartwheeling into a pile of sh*t and p*ss!' She continued to argue with him, so then he said, 'Okay, okay. Just give me your address. Tomorrow after my coffee, I'm going to come over to your house and take a massive dump on your front lawn!' My mother and I lost it and had tears rolling down our faces, we were laughing so hard.
