Guide to not making a prat, pillock or plonker of yourself in the UK

I've been blogging about life as an American expat in the UK for nearly 2 years. This is my longest, most-ambitious post ever.

Basically everything I wish someone told me before I ever even visited Britain as an American.

I'm sure some will disagree with some of my premises, especially about the fish and chips.

http://expatclaptrap.com/american-tourist-guide-to-the-uk/

Agree completely about fish and chips. 

What's wrong with Jamie's?   I've been several times and always found it good.

For anyone reading this, I suggest you follow the link about nachos, that post is one of the best!

For anyone reading this, I suggest you follow the link about nachos, that post is one of the best!

My favourite is still the one guest-hosted by Franz Keiser.

Franz says "hello."

Haha.  I was laughing and nodding my head a few times... Of course I realise a lot of it is tongue and cheek,  but I can quite easily poke holes in your generalisations.  Though this is not the point I realise, but I will do so anyways. Because that's what this forum does    (With my own generalisations below too)

Unless you are a driver for NASCAR, or your family name is “Hollister” or “Abercrombie,” you shouldn’t wear clothes over here that loudly advertise your corporate preferences.

But Superdry is okay. The number of people I see wearing Superdry clothing is unreal. 

If you’re a man, don’t wear shorts

 
If the sun is out in Scotland (rare!), regardless of the temperature, everyone wears shorts!!

British people don’t carry around those little squeezy alcohol gel bottles.

   I can name many who do!

Don’t order Peppermint tea or Chamomile, or Jasmine or any of that nonsense.............. Oh, and one more tip – do not ask for iced tea. No restaurant, or cafe in the country has iced tea.

Twinings has a great line of herbal teas.   And I see more and more and more and more iced tea (bottles) popping up everywhere in cafes and restaurants.  My husband has found a great love of iced tea, actually!

Don’t try to order light beer, it doesn’t exist over here and that stuff is swill anyway.

 
Lots of swill called Coors Light, it's quite popular 
I see Bud Light has also found its way here.....

You’ll hear people say things like: “Well of course you think fish and chips are bad, as you’ve probably never had real fish and chips.” Then they’ll tell you that there’s no good fish and chips in London and that in their hometown in the north, you get the most amazing fish and chips. It’s always in the north.

Aww, but the "North", well really just Whitby, does have amazing Fish and Chips....  (hahah, as someone from the North of Scotland, I laugh that Yorkshire is considered "North"), 

Antibacterial gel - They sell it at the tills in Primark, lots of women I know have them! I think they smell awful though and still order Bath & Body works from eBay :-P

Flavored teas - really? Most cafes have a few flavors on offer.

I've been seeing Coors Light at the pub for a good few years now!

Sorry...I did the same as phatbeetle there :-P

 
If the sun is out in Scotland (rare!), regardless of the temperature, everyone wears shorts!!
   I can name many who do!

The general mgr at the golf course (Knaresborough) is a Scot.....wears shorts all year-round while playing......unless it gets closer to freezing he's usually just in one shirt as well..........antifreeze for blood.

Of course, you're all right. Some British people do wear shorts, and use hand gel and drink herbal tea, and a few even iced tea.

But I think those generalisations are still valid. If you saw someone in a cafe using handgel and asking for iced tea while wearing shorts, I'd bet you £20 (how much is that in dollars?) that they're American through and through.

In fact I was recently with an American friend visiting, he asked the man at the pub for iced tea and was laughed at. He wasn't wearing shorts though.

And maybe I'm blind to the Coors and Bud light. I'm planning a future blog about things British people don't appreciate enough about their own culture, and real ale will be top of the list. Yes, real ale is popular, but everytime I'm out with British friends, I'm the only one drinking it.

Maybe I need new friends.

I do understand the iced tea thing. I think it is getting more popular, but through chains like Costa and Starbucks. However, they're so full of flavoured syrup it's disgusting. The best iced tea I've had here was from a BBQ smokehouse...American themed of course.

I love real ale! I couldn't spend a day drinking it but when hubby and I are on a day out, we usually stop at the pub where I'll try whatever is brewed locally. I do think the North appreciates real ale a bit more than the South...

British people don't appreciate enough about their own culture, and real ale will be top of the list. Yes, real ale is popular, but everytime I'm out with British friends, I'm the only one drinking it.

Maybe I need new friends.

Perhaps!
My group of friends gather to drink real ale 7 nights a week (although I don't always join them... I am already too fat!), and we go on holiday together, usually to places in Yorkshire or to Manchester-- both places are ale heaven!  I am also the secretary of our local branch of CAMRA.   

Perhaps!
My group of friends gather to drink real ale 7 nights a week (although I don't always join them... I am already too fat!), and we go on holiday together, usually to places in Yorkshire or to Manchester-- both places are ale heaven!  I am also the secretary of our local branch of CAMRA.   

Ahhhh....to Yorkshire. You must fly on Yorkshire Airlines!!