Making final decision on an extended visit

We will be making a six week visit to the UK in a couple months to make a final, informed decision about whether we actually want to uproot our life move over. (We are almost positive we do.) We'll stay with family so it will be close quarters, but it will be our last chance to do this, because soon my oldest will be starting kindergarten and we'll be tied down to school schedules.

If you had six weeks in the UK to make a decision about whether or not to move there, what would you look into? How would you spend the time? How would you know to pull the plug on the idea?

Whereabouts in Scotland are you visiting? I'm in Fife with two preschool aged kids if you need any advice re that sort of stuff.
Think about the weather and if you can handle it. Think about the finances, the probable pay cut, etc.
Do you have family back home and are you married to the standard of living in the states?
Happy to answer any questions.

I'll definitely think of more questions (I have two preschoolers too!) We're staying with DH's family in the Glasgow area.

My family in the US is tiny and spread out. I feel much closer to my Scottish family. My family know we're thinking of doing this and they gave us "their blessing".

There are plenty of things I know I'll miss about the US (the space, actual seasons, etc.) but I think it's a trade-off to have close family nearby when you have kids. If we were ever going to try living in Scotland in our lifetime, this would be the time. We just have to make absolute sure.

There are plenty of things I know I'll miss about the US (the space, actual seasons, etc.)

We have actual seasons in Scotland.  It's just that we do them all in one day. 

Honestly, I think it's never the same visiting somewhere as living there permanently.  Visiting is always more glamorous!

I would recommend you visit the local schools you are looking at (primary schools, pre-schools, nurseries) and find out about enrolment.  Find out how competitive they are to get into and what criteria the previous class had (how many spots were available, how many were admitted because of siblings, how close they had to live to the school to get in, how big the waitlist was).

If you plan to work, have a look at the current job market.

If you won't have a car when you move, use public transport during your stay exclusively so you really get a feel of how it would be after you moved.

Shop at local stores for food and clothing.

Have a look at the current housing market.  What's available and what you can afford in your budget.

Go to some local playgroups.

Enjoy yourself but try to immerse yourself in living here.  Try not to have it be a long holiday, if that makes sense?

Some good suggestions. With a 3 and a 4 year old, I need to somehow stay focused on the purpose of the trip. I'll need to have a concrete list or I can see the weeks passing with no progress made. I'm hoping six weeks is long enough to de-glamorize things too and make it a lot less like a holiday (we haven't been over there for that long since we lived there!)

I think one of the things I'm really going to have to do is try driving this time. Maybe even rent a car. This is terrifying because I have never driven in the UK and DH hasn't in well over a decade. But I can't imagine being stuck in my in-law's house dependent on them for six weeks with two kids (three weeks was bad enough last time). Another thing: I have never driven a manual either, so that should be fun.

Definitely look into the school situation.  With the 4 year old, it's possible registration dates have already passed, so you may get 'stuck' in an unwanted school far away.

Renting a car is a great idea.  No need to do manual, you can find automatics here.  That would be great for you to have an escape route from the inlaws and get comfortable with the roads.  You could even schedule a driving lesson or two to build your confidence.

I moved to the UK on my own for work.  Included in my package was a rental car for a couple of months.  It was delivered to work after my first week (I had been taking the train to and from the office).  All I had heard about was how small the cars were here and I was given a station wagon so big it could rival a Range Rover!  As it was January, it was pitch black by 4pm and I had to drive that monster back home - on roads I hadn't even seen - in rush hour traffic!  I took a Xanax.   

That weekend I just went out and drove for about 4 hours straight.  On back roads and motorways.  Got comfortable in no time!  The anxiety about driving was definitely worse than the reality.

Can you afford to rent a place similar to what you'd be able to rent/buy if you make the move, for the time you'll be in the UK? This would give you some idea of what it's actually like to run a household here in terms of food shopping and cooking, (possibly) living in a smaller space than you have in the UK, using public transport etc. and just doing the mundane day to day living.

Definitely look at schools, research day to day costs while you're on the ground, see how far the salary/salaries will stretch. And even if you feel that you might not have as much spare cash for things like eating out, IHMO there are more inexpensive to do with children in the UK.

Only you and your husband will know whether or not moving to the UK is the right thing to do for your family, your decisions will be different from the next person. We didn't have as much spare cash when we lived in the UK, but it's our home and where we will return upon retirement.

Good luck in what ever you decide 

It's a bit like pretending to be married before making the commitment, it's never going to be like the real thing.  You might make your decision based on a sucky few weeks, which is garunteed to happen to everyone.  We all would have quit then if we could have. 

It's like giving birth or getting married, you can't know until you do it and you can't judge the whole by a small part.

Living with the in laws for weeks sounds pretty tough, far harder than having your own place. 

Can you do a house swap with someone for part of the time?  There's web sites for setting up that.

It's like giving birth

Out....on.....limb....