No practical advice from me, but I'm an American who lived in Tucson with my future French wife on the way to London . I've lived here for 17 years and we've been married for more than that. Life is fine here and I'm perfectly happy . My only point is that it is actually possible to have a life with someone from Europe, even though it may not seem that way when talking visas. Don't get discouraged, if it was easy then everyone would do it.