New kid in town

Hi

I'm cynda from Milton Keynes, I am really anxious to make friends here as I am VERY HOMESICK.

I am sorta wanting to have a pot luck dinner with some american gals if anyone is instrested.  July 19th.

I know this probably seems a bit forward but only way to meet people is to do socials.

I am having loads of medical problems and Hope to gain support and assistance from new friends.

Married Aug 19th 2000, in USA to Nigel, he is british,
Moved here and settled. we have a dog named Hollie No children as I cannot have kids.

Not alot else to say.

Thanks

Welcome on cynda!  

Sorry to hear about the homesickness, but will finds loads of people on here that can relate.

I'm also sure that you will be able to find some friendly ex-pats in the area.

Try looking under clubs and meetings.  I know that there are several gatherings going on in the near future!

Hi Cynda and welcome to UKY!

I move over in two weeks to join my English fiance so I won't act as if I know how you feel but I think Wench had some good ideas about joining clubs, etc.  I'll bet that would help a lot!  I'm sure I'll have my bout of homesickness too.  I've moved a few times to different states where I didn't know anyone except my immediate family (although I know that's very different) and joining clubs, getting involved in activities, etc. always helped me!

I'm sorry you're having some medical problems.  I hope you'll be feeling better soon!

-Sandy

Hello Cynda,

I know how you feel.  I am sorry you are homesick.  For me I try and get out of the house everyday.  I find it is worse when I just sit at home watching daytime t.v.  Plus I am in the process of starting to volunteer at an animal shelter.  In time the Homesickness will pass.  I know it is hard but true.

I need to look up Milton Keynes I have never run across the town on a map.  Do you like the place?  BTW welcome to the board.  

Hi Cynda, welcome!
I like your idea of the potluck...unfortunately this is turning into a mad-busy summer. We'll be just back from Scotland at the July 19 mark. And from past experience Milton Keynes is rather a slog to get to from here. It's not that we wouldn't come, it's just that a drive from Scotland, and then to come there...well, timing isn't great, but then again nothing until September is going to be easy slotted for us. What is it with this year? It's suddenly manic for travel!

But, organizing a get-together is a really good start to helping to knock homesickness. You mentioned having medical problems. I wonder if perhaps one of the care workers may know of other American women in your area...ones that don't post on the forum. If you can't travel too far given some health problems, I am sure there are tons of Americans in Milton Keynes that we don't know about yet.

Do continue posting here. It's helped me get over my own homesickness a lot!

Where did you move here from?

I am from Dayton Ohio
Lived there with my mom untill I met Nigel. I've always been disabled worked odd jobs here and there. took care of grandparents untill they died in 95 and 96. Was just becky homeecky for a while.

Met Nigel on line. rest is history.

I have worked odd jobs in the UK, I was a cleaner in a co/op for a while, I was a dishwasher at the local hospital, and I worked as a secretary/junior administrator for Brandt Computers for a while. Untill I had the stroke.

Now I am totally disabled again. Speech is slurred sometimes. Ego is real bent.

I volunteer or try to 3 days a week at Headway. Brain and Head Injured people. I try to go swimming. I do not have a "legal" licence yet Going to take my driving test on June 4th. soo not alot I really can do at the moment. Hubby works swing shifts so limited my ablity to go much of anywhere. Yes there is taxie's and busses but I'm lazy and don't wanna walk to catch bus. Not much to really do here anyway.

Milton Keynes is fairly a new city, was built back in the early 80's  has a ton of round abouts, and is laid out like a grid system like in states.. at least city center is or is that centre...oh well nevermind.

Loads of parks and green and really pretty..but being alone all the time gets to be dull.  I mean alone as in friends/mates.

Not alone as in husband and I...you know what I mean..
haveing a loving husband is fantastic but I need friends my own age too. Hubby is 50 and into amature radio *yuck* eats, lives and breaths it.  but that's been his hobbie all along. I like watching Ice Hockey and HOPEFULLY will be getting involved with more of that sorta stuff this upcoming year..once I have a licence.

Things are looking up...but I need some friends...not just on line but going out socilizing and things.. I cannot have children and only couples we know either do amature radio and that's it..and they are older couples...

so that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

we have a dog named Hollie too.

Hi Cynda and welcome to the forum.  I think it's great that you're taking positive action and wish you all the best.  I am going to give advise though, mainly because I have a compulsion to offer my opinion, but also because I've been in a place similar to you and I want you to know that there is a way out of it.  I've lived here for nearly 14 years.  It's a long time-a third of my life.  I really feel that you need to look in your own community for friends.  It sounds like you do have some resourses-where you volunteer, the club you belong to-where you can make friends.  It's not going to be easy, you do have to put in a huge effort, but it can be done and is worth it in the end.   I had to force myself to go out and try to make friends and it worked.  I have friends I've known for years, I'm friendly with my neighbours, have aquaintences I say hi to, see people that I know when I'm in town or at tescos.  And some of these friendships were the result of as simple a thing as taking the same bus on the same day every week and chatting at the bus stop.  
Personally, I don't think it's a great idea to put so much effort into making only American friends.  The first reason is simple but true-Expats tend to move on.  Alot of American expats are here for a variety of different reasons  but not very many are here permanently.  You could put alot of effort into a relationship only to find that that person is moving back to the States and you've got to start over from scatch.  
Another reason I would tend to avoid only US real life friends is that you may find the only thing you have in common is your nationality.  I've had freinds in my area that were American, but I met through common interests (ok, my kids).  Any Americans that I've been introduced to as 'here's another American', I haven't had anything in common with and did not build a friendship with.  
I've made some good friends through this board, but that too is a result of having common interests, of taking the time to get to know them, and finding out what they're like through posts and occasional meetings.  
I wish you all the best Cynda, and hope that you can make some lasting friendships here, just try to be open minded about where you're going to make them.  

Mindy.
I've lived in UK for 3 years.... You know how many british friends I have....I could probably count them on 2 hands....

But they are just call on friends...don't come around for coffee or dinners ...  I chat up alot of people... I volunteer 3 days a week... It isn't I am only looking for American Friends..but it would help my homesickness to find other american's in Milton Keynes...

Personally this town is the melting pot of alot of ethic groups and unless you have kids or work alot, you have no hope in finding long lasting friendships....I really don't wanna get into friendships with people under the age of 21, that is just me..since I am 33.

I hear what your saying..but really unless you live here..You can't really throw ideas out....it's difficult situation to explain... This isn't your typical villiage... I really don't know how to explain it....it's hell...i can say that.

Mindy.
I've lived in UK for 3 years.... You know how many british friends I have....I could probably count them on 2 hands....

Well, that's a start, isn't it.

But they are just call on friends...don't come around for coffee or dinners ...  I chat up alot of people... I volunteer 3 days a week... It isn't I am only looking for American Friends..but it would help my homesickness to find other american's in Milton Keynes...

So, look for American friends that share your interests.  Read the forum-really read the forum.  Look for people who share some of your interests and sound like people you'd like to know.  Respond to some of the different posts-and not just the I'm unhappy/homesick posts.  Being homesick is not a shared interest.  Try to become a part of the community-then you might have more luck making friends.

Personally this town is the melting pot of alot of ethic groups and unless you have kids or work alot, you have no hope in finding long lasting friendships....I really don't wanna get into friendships with people under the age of 21, that is just me..since I am 33.

Of course, you don't want to make friends with kids-that's fairly obvious, but the type of community you describe is far easier to make friends in than in a small village where everyone has known each other for years.  I live in a very similar town to you in Surrey-and I HAVE done it.  It wasn't EASY, but there isn't an easy way.  I too left behind family, friends and a community I  where everyone knows me.  We all did.  That's the life you chose as an Ex-pat.  That's my bottom line-you chose this life, now make the best of it.  

I hear what your saying..but really unless you live here..You can't really throw ideas out....it's difficult situation to explain... This isn't your typical villiage... I really don't know how to explain it....it's hell...i can say that.

Why can't I throw ideas out?  Because it's not what you want to hear?  I don't mean to have a go at you Cynda, but really, did you not read the part where I said that I've lived here 13 years and I know what I'm talking about.  I'm not an outgoing person, I've never made friends easily, but I forced myself to make an effort and it worked.  

I'm doing the best I can

Mindy, I'm from a military town and I was civilan so I am used to people picking up and leaving... that isnt a big deal..I just want some sorta comforting group...able to speak about same things and be able to say I miss home with out feeling I am offending anyone...or that I don't like England..truth Is I really do like the UK..but I myself don't plan on living here forever and ever...soon as my husband retires.....I'm outta here.

I just want to make the best out of this experiance..and that is how I see it..... My health is really really in the toilet and rather than b*tch about it I rather find something positive... I rather find or try to start a group in my area then go WHOA is me...I'm not like that...

I appreciate your advice..thank you.