The good news is that I got my visa!!! The bad news is that I received it today, and it's "valid" dates are 09/05/19 to 08/06/19... so I have about two and a half weeks to get there. Lots of things to worry about now!
Here's the timeline for anyone curious, and good luck to all who are applying!:
Visa Applied: Standard Spouse Visa
Application Submitted: February 21, 2019
Biometrics: February 27, 2019
ECO Email: April 16, 2019
Decision Made Email: May 16, 2019
Decision/Passport Received: Approved May 20, 2019!!
Total of 56 W/D to passport in hand