Previous (same sex) relationship.

I know that you are supposed to list previous marriages on a fiance visa application and provide evidence of divorce or widowhood.

Before I was engaged to my fiance, I was in a same sex domestic partnership for many years.  Our relationship was legally binding, registered with the City Clerk of New York.  We have been living separately for about 1/2 a year. However, we won't be able to officially cancel the domestic partnership till after I apply for my visa because of scheduling issues. Anyway, the domestic partnership automatically cancels when one of parties gets married, so it's not necessary to cancel it.  (I know it's discriminatory.) The domestic partnership is also not valid outside of New York State.

I was just not going to mention the same-sex relationship, but I was wondering if they could check up on it, which would get me caught in a lie. (The domestic partnerships records are in the same place as the marriage records. How do they know if someone was divorced if that person doesn't volunteer divorce papers?)  I just don't want to have to deal with ignorant questions along the lines of "If you were in love with a woman, how could you be in love with a man?" There are so many stereotypes about gay people getting into straight relationships for reasons of convenience (my fiance and I are very much in love), that I'm afraid that the fact that I was in a long-term gay relationship will cause my current hetero relationship to be viewed in a different light.  I would prefer not to mention my previous relationship at all, and just have my current relationship taken at face value.

I don't know how and/or if they could find out, but you're always better telling the truth, ESPECIALLY if someone COULD go back and find out because there's a paper trail.  Better to have to justify your relationship than explain why you lied on an application.  Consider this: If you didn't say anything and they found out about it, you'd have to tell them why you lied.  While it is understanding that people in same-sex relationships feel they have to be careful, it's kind of like saying that you didn't trust them to be fair in the first place.  ("Oh, she didn't say anything because she thought we're homophobes.")

If you ARE going to disclose the previous relationship, I'm sure you could show them the law which says it gets cancelled when someone gets married (or have a lawyer write out something for you to that effect).  You could also get a letter from your former partner where they testify that the two of you are no longer a couple and have not been since whenever.

Sexuality is such a complex issue and no one should ever question how one feels in their heart, but I see what you mean about the fear of having to justify your situation.  The way I see it, someone with a history of relationships with the same AND opposite sexes just means they could be bisexual.  I don't think immigration officials are allowed to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.  They certainly are NOT supposed to ask about one's sex life, and a discussion in which you are questioned about this could easily lead to that.

I understand your fears...I know too well how discrimination can be. However, UK immigration officers NEVER gave me and my (same-sex) partner any problems at all.  We absolutely were treated with the utmost respect.

I really want to avoid bringing this up. I have to check the wording.  I believe it says something like "Are you currently in a relationship like a marriage?"  Since we're not living together, I'm really not.  What would a heterosexual person say if they were separated but not yet legally divorced?
My relationship with my ex is very difficult. I had wanted to dissolve the domestic partnership before I applied for the visa, but sadly it's not going to happen till after I make my visa application.

I really want to avoid bringing this up. I have to check the wording.  I believe it says something like "Are you currently in a relationship like a marriage?"  Since we're not living together, I'm really not.  What would a heterosexual person say if they were separated but not yet legally divorced?
My relationship with my ex is very difficult. I had wanted to dissolve the domestic partnership before I applied for the visa, but sadly it's not going to happen till after I make my visa application.

I'm currently dealing with a difficult divorce that involves a separation (my fiance's not mine) and will be applying for the fiance visa before it is finalized. They do allow you to apply if the divorce isn't finalized yet, you just have to show proof that the divorce will be final within the 6 month period of the fiance visa. I'm with CluDet about disclosing all the information especially since there is a paper trail and it's legally binding (if only in NY). I would think that they know or at least heard about the domestic partnership law in NYC.

I went back and checked the e-fast track form.

It asks, are you currently (check one):

Single
Married
In a relationship akin to marriage
Divorced
Widowed
Separated

The most truthful answer would be "separated."  If I mark "separated", I am asked to state when I was married and how long I was married. I can't answer that because I wasn't married.

If I mark "in a relationship akin to marriage", it goes directly to the next question that is asked of everybody (about whether I've met my fiance in person), and doesn't give me an opportunity to explain the nature of my relationship, so I think it would be assumed that we are still living together as a married couple, which we are not.

The thing is, the UK immigration's definition of unmarried partnership involves living together, joint finances, etc., which my ex-partner and I don't have. If we wanted to apply for an unmarried partnership visa (and one of us were British) we wouldn't be allowed to. I haven't really studied the process for getting the unmarried partnership visa, but I imagine that if all you had as documentaion was a domestic partnership certificate that is valid only in one state, with absolutely no other proof of having lived together or having a relationship, you would be turned down.

So I think if I say I am "in a relationship akin to marriage" it would be assumed that I am actually "in a relationship" with them, not that I have a piece of paper that says I'm in a relationship, and is only valid in New York State.

Why not email or phone the consulate to get a definitive answer? All we are doing here are grasping at straws. Maybe Garry has some insight...

I've tried emailing and phoning the consulate a number of times about other things. It's impossible to get through to them. They don't reply to their emails, even when you fill out the feedback form that they supply on their website, and they don't have human beings answer their phones, it's always recordings. (They actually tell you to hold if you want an operator, then after a few seconds you get a recording saying that the extension isn't available, to hang up and call again during normal business hours. I was calling during normal business hours.  Calling again at a different time gets you the same response). I did go down in person once to ask some questions, but I really don't want to go there again till I'm actually applying.   This is the New York consulate, by the way.

Anyway,  I can't really ask them "should I mention this on my application?" because once I ask them, it's already mentioned. 

What they wanted for MY visa application (same-sex partnership) was proof that any prior relationship akin to marriage had broken down.  My partner and I had both been in prior relationships, yet neither of us considered them to have been "akin to marriage", nor would have our friends/families.  Neither of us had  made any legal commitments with our exes either, so that didn't apply in our case.

However, since you say that your situation was QUOTE:"legally binding, registered with the City Clerk of New York", you really should include it or ask a lawyer or UK immigration official before you don't.  Could you perhaps email someone anonymously or under a pseudonym?

When I had a question about filling out my forms I emailed the Home Office UK Visas people directly at http://www.ukvisas.gov.uk/servlet/Front?pagename=OpenMarket/Xcelerate/ShowPage&c=Page&cid=1006977150196
(scroll down to the bottom).  They responded to me rather quickly.

One more suggestion... perhaps contact someone who works with gay and lesbian immigration?

We're pulling for you sweetpeach!

I agree with CluDet.  Since you were in a legally-binding and recognised relationship, you'll need to mention it and you'll need to be able to prove that the relationship has broken down.  I'd definitely bring in something to show that the relationship will be dissolved as a result of your marriage.

When you're checking the part about your relationship status, I'd say you should check "separated" and explain the situation there.  No, you weren't married, but you were in a state-recognised partnership.  You can put down the date it was legally recognised and the date on which you separated.  Then mention that it'll be dissolved by your marriaged, etc.

The key thing is obviously the fact that the relationship was registered with the state.  If you were just living with a woman with no legal recognition, I'd say to NOT mention it as there'd be no paper trail.  But there is one here and I think you're better off being totally transparent in your application.

If you do have some questions, you can just call the consulate.  They won't know who you are unless you volunteer that info.   

However, since you say that your situation was QUOTE:"legally binding, registered with the City Clerk of New York", you really should include it or ask a lawyer or UK immigration official before you don't.  Could you perhaps email someone anonymously or under a pseudonym?

When I had a question about filling out my forms I emailed the Home Office UK Visas people directly at http://www.ukvisas.gov.uk/servlet/Front?pagename=OpenMarket/Xcelerate/ShowPage&c=Page&cid=1006977150196
(scroll down to the bottom).  They responded to me rather quickly.

When I give my email address, they will see my full name, which is attached to my email account.

When I give my email address, they will see my full name, which is attached to my email account.

Open an yahoo account.....use a generic name..and send off an email

Open an yahoo account.....use a generic name..and send off an email

I already did something similar

P.S. The reason I haven't dissolved the domestic partnership yet is that my ex is having extensive--and very necessary--dental work done, and she doesn't have a permanent job so she's on my dental insurance through my job. This was planned before we broke up.

Why not email or phone the consulate to get a definitive answer? All we are doing here are grasping at straws. Maybe Garry has some insight...

She would put it down on the form and include the original document with her application.  Plus optionally provide a pointer to the controlling legal references that explains about it OR  optionally include a statement from a solicitor about her marital status.  To do otherwise would be jeopardising her immigration status downstream.

Considering the consequences, I'm surprised there has been any debate about it.

I don't have my original domestic partnership certificate. My ex has it, and will not give it to me..   Would printing out the information page from the City Clerk's website, which states that it would be dissolved upon marriage, be enough? We have made verbal arrangements to dissolve the partnership on a date after I would have to apply for the fiance visa.

What do I put down on the form? Am I separated? In a relationship akin to marriage? There is no room on the form to explain the situation. It is a yes or no question.

If I say I am separated, what do I say when they ask for details about my marriage? "Separation" seems to assume a heterosexual relationship.

The problem is, according to the application, for heterosexual relationships, you can be married, separated or divorced.  For gay relationships, there seems to be only one choice--being in a relationship.

This is the website page that says the domestic partnership terminates on marriage.

http://nycmarriagebureau.com/about/domesticpartnership.html

The statement that the partnership terminates on marriage is the last sentence. Is it good enough?

I could write a letter about the relationship,  stating that I have been living alone since 15 June 2004. (I could provide my lease.)
And attach the webpage. Is that enough? As I mentioned, I do not have access to the original domestic partnership certificate.

edit: Oh, the reason it is a topic of discussion, I believe, is that, unlike a marriage which is binding worldwide,  the domestic partnership is not legally recognized outside of New York State; and the requirement for an unmarried partnership visa in the UK is that the couple have been living together, as a couple, for the past two years, which we have not. So I did not know if the British consulate would consider that a relationship had even existed.

I thought that finding the "official" definition of a "relationship akin to marriage"would be helpful, but the Home Office website just says:
"Akin to marriage", is a relationship that is similar in its nature to a marriage which would include both common law and same sex relationships."
Not very helpful.

Er, wait a minute. The relationship isn't even valid within all of New York State. It is only a New York City domestic partnership. With benefits  for  people working at city jobs, in city housing, etc., not state institutions.
Does this change anything? (A real marriage would have to be created by the State, not the City.)