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Topic: I MISS TRADER JOES  (Read 4139 times)

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Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #30 on: December 01, 2004, 04:07:17 PM »
UPDATE:

So i just tried to tell my mom that it's talking to her and having her guilt me about being away that makes me homesick...

and she said 'well i've figured it out, you're always so short on the phone with me everytime we talk and it's like i was with your father when we were apart....it was harder to talk to the person as you missed them so much.  you miss us and home so much you can't bear to talk to us on the phone for a long time'.   

um, yeah mom.  if that gets you through all of this, that's fine.   :)  i know she can't deal with the fact i used to call her 5 times a week and now, it's once a week  ::)

It'll get better, I promise.  I used to DREAD the phone ringing because I knew it'd be a family member and I'd have to stifle tears for the duration of the phone call.  I missed them so much and I felt so bad for leaving.  But it's okay now.  It's like I'm away at university or something--they know I'm okay...far away, but okay.

I totally understand how your mom feels--my mom and I have a very close relationship and it was really hard on her when I left.  But it's not fair for your mom to beg you to come home.  You ARE home...for now.  I'm sure she mentally understands that, but it's the emotional understanding that's the problem.  It's good that you tried to tell her how you're feeling...and understandable (and sweet!) that she kinda justified the reason in another way.  Maybe things will get better after you guys have been back for a visit.  I know that helped with my family--they saw that we really could go back and that we weren't permanently on the other side of the ocean.   :D



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Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #31 on: December 01, 2004, 05:01:45 PM »
I love/miss Trader Joes, my family, drive thru Starbucks and just what I am use to.  I can totally relate to being homesick or not settling in.  Everyone is different and it has been a very hard adjustment for me to live here.  The honeymoon period has been long over.  I love my husband, I love my son's school and love so many things about England.  I know one day I will return the States and that helps.  I think it is wonderful for all those who so quickly acclimated. 


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Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #32 on: December 01, 2004, 06:32:48 PM »
New Dawn, with the TJs and HayDay comment, i'm thinking you must be in Fairfield county CT!

in Darien we had TJs and HayDay was in NewCanaan (and i think westport and greenwich?)

Yep! I *was* ( and will be shortly!) I worked in Fairfield ( Trader Joes was a couple of miles away) and went to the Hay Day in Westport- LOVED Hay Day!

Wow! What a thread this turned into, I was shocked when I saw all the topic replies in my in-box- but then this isn't really about food is it, it's about familiarity and what feels "right". I know that I used to be delighted when I found English stuff over there- even when I didn't really like it and would never have bought it over here!

I have no idea how I cope without "proper" butter when I go back ;)

Keep smiling and enjoy the best of both worlds when Mum wants to send you the plane ticket!

Sheril.
Born to shop..............forced to work


Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #33 on: December 01, 2004, 07:56:53 PM »
Some people are never meant to leave home.  Some don't adapt well and some people are just miserable gits no matter where they live and never happy.
   

Truer words were never spoken!

Count me in as one who has never had a single day of homesickness in the 19 years I have lived in the UK.
I know that homesickness exists, cos the expat forums tell me so, but i cant say i fully understand it.  :(


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Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #34 on: December 02, 2004, 09:03:49 AM »
I haven't really experienced homesickness as of yet all that much - partially cause I've only been here for a few months and was able to go home two weekends ago...but I also think a large part has been because I've lived away from my family for most of my adult life...and only drove home for holidays and some of the summer - so it's not that different than now that I'll see them...I talk to most of my immediate family once a week or every two weeks, which was about the same as in the States...and I think it's affecting them more than me!  On occasion I do miss having a car to drive, certain food places, but overall...loving London so much and feeling really good about my life here right now (okay, meeting a great guy and some wonderful people from here & the hockey team has helped a lot!)


Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #35 on: December 02, 2004, 05:47:14 PM »
...but I also think a large part has been because I've lived away from my family for most of my adult life...and only drove home for holidays and some of the summer - so it's not that different than now that I'll see them...I talk to most of my immediate family once a week or every two weeks, which was about the same as in the States... 

That's similar to me, Onetiger... i left my parents home when i was 17 (Im 41 now) and since then, the nearest i ever lived to them was about 150 miles.   I only saw them at Christmas and/or Thanksgiving, and talked on the phone maybe once every 2 weeks. 
I only speak to them on the phone maybe once a month now, but we email, so we really are communicating MORE now than we did when i lived 150 or 500 miles away.


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Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #36 on: December 02, 2004, 07:07:53 PM »
I just don't get it...please don't anyone get offended, but I just don't get it....

For the person that was homesick for the UK and this TD's place had crumpets...I used to buy crumpets at Publix in Orlando...

I just don't get missing the USA for the food?  We are in Europe (well some could argue that...  ;) ), BUT...I have never had better paella as I did at a seafront cafe' in Barcelona, or a better pollo de ajo than the one at a cute little cabana cafe in Madrid - where a guy playing a guitar sang to me in Spanish and English.

Or a better yorkshire pudding than at my inlaws house...etc.etc... or a worse kebab with friends out for the night in Edinburgh...  ;)  (I thought it was fine - they said it was boak! LOL)

To me food is not about eating - it's about the experience while I am eating it.  Most of the food I ate in the States was to stay alive...or in a crowded restaurant with a portion that was too large.

I have been informed that this Trader Joe's is a big international food shopping place.  Why bother....we can INTERNATIONALLY SHOP in the actual COUNTRY it's from!  (I take it TD's is similar to Harry's Farmers Market in Atlanta???)

You can eat healthy anywhere...heck go pick some apples from the tree out back (well in my case anyway) and dry them yourselves....or learn to can...learn to pickle...learn to bake....

I will never miss the USA for food...yeah I miss my family sometimes...but I don't miss my mother because she makes a mean lasagna or potato noodle!  I miss her because we have shared LIFE together.  Good and Bad.

I think missing a country for it's food is depriving you of an authentic international experience...where things are different...things are strange and wonderful.  Grasp the experience and let go of the fondness of HUGE markets full of consumables.

Off my soap box now...

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Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #37 on: December 02, 2004, 07:17:10 PM »
As somebody else pointed out, it's not about the food itself, it's about the life that went with the food.  While I miss Taco Bell, I wouldn't leave the UK for it.  But I do really miss being able to hop into my car whenever I want and drive to the nearest Taco Bell (which was always open after 5 pm, unlike lots of places over here).  So it's about the freedom...not the food.

If, for whatever reason, Taco Bell opened in Newcastle, it wouldn't be the same.  I'd have to figure out how to get there on public transport (obviously before 5 pm!), pay twice the US cost, and I'd probably complain about the food.  :-\\\\


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Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #38 on: December 02, 2004, 07:18:14 PM »
Missing something from where you used to live doesn't mean you aren't enjoying things where you live now.   ::)

Besides...sometimes homesickness crystallises into cravings for the most bizarre things.  I miss seeing the mail trucks back in the states...and if I ever move back, I'll miss the postmen on their bikes over here.

Maybe I'm just weird like that.  ;)

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Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #39 on: December 02, 2004, 07:40:35 PM »
Missing something from where you used to live doesn't mean you aren't enjoying things where you live now.   ::)
  Well at least two replies said "only so many days left in this country"....like doing a prison sentence or something.  Get out and enjoy it if you aren't here for very long...
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Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #40 on: December 02, 2004, 07:47:25 PM »
I think that knowing you're only here for a limited time almost helps people NOT to integrate.  I know that I'm working much harder to learn to like/love it here than I would if we had a definitive exit date (we don't have one at all--no plans to move back as far as I know!).

Plus, in Aimiloo's defense, she's only been here for what, ten weeks?  The 3-4 month period was when my homesickness REALLY kicked in and I would have seriously considered buying a plane ticket back to the UK soley to buy a burrito supreme and a chalupa!   ;)
« Last Edit: December 02, 2004, 07:49:39 PM by lolabola »


Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #41 on: December 02, 2004, 07:51:25 PM »

 Well at least two replies said "only so many days left in this country"....like doing a prison sentence or something. Get out and enjoy it if you aren't here for very long...

Since I was one of the two, I will tell you this, I do get out and I do enjoy a lot of what living in England has to offer, however England is not my home.  My love for my husband brought me here, he has always known this would not be where we ended up forever.  But as far as I am concerned NY will always be my home and I would say this anywhere I lived and did say this often when I lived in a different state.  England has been a great place to live so far, but I don't think I will ever call it home.

Sorry, you don't understand this, but this is how "I" feel.


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Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #42 on: December 02, 2004, 08:17:05 PM »
I think maybe when I say I miss places like Trader Joe's, it's the casual atmosphere of the place and the ability to buy a variety of delicious natural, organic foods easily and inexpensively. Where I live in the UK, there are no shops like that, and any natural/organic foods I do find are about twice the price (pretty much like just about everything else here, unfortunately... another reason why I sometimes miss the US :-\\\\).

But that doesn't mean I'm want to give up and go home. When I came to the UK, I knew what to expect and I knew it wasn't going to be America. (I also came here because I like it, of course. :))

I think homesickness is perfectly normal though, as long as you can see beyond it and still get on with your day to day life. For me, I can't imagine someone *not* feeling homesick at least sometimes if they moved to a totally different country!

If someone really misses home or doesn't like it as much here, it doesn't mean they're miserable or unadaptable or there's something wrong with them for not liking it. It depends on the situation: How close you are to your friends and family back in the States, if you actually liked the place you lived before, where you are in the UK and whether it's a nice place to live, how supportive your network of people are in the UK to you, etc. It also depends on how familiar you are to moving around and living away from home. Some people are just lucky to have everything work out very well for them and for that reason have nothing to miss about their home country.
Plans on hold 'cuz Brexit


Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #43 on: December 02, 2004, 08:29:05 PM »
For me, I can't imagine someone *not* feeling homesick at least sometimes if they moved to a totally different country!

I'm telling the truth... promise!  ;D   SCOTLAND ROCKS!!
I have indeed been very fortunate to make a better life for myself since leaving California.

« Last Edit: December 02, 2004, 08:32:36 PM by otterpop »


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Re: I MISS TRADER JOES
« Reply #44 on: December 02, 2004, 08:42:05 PM »
Perhaps the trick is to offer understanding or viable alternatives where you can and ignore what you can't.  I'm not in the same situation as Aimiloo or Stacey so I don't understand how they feel, but I won't use my lack of understanding to make them feel 'wrong'.
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