Escalated?

Thank you. Boxing is a good idea! I have been planting stuff, growing seeds, and trying to keep busy. My teaching students has stopped for summer now so crazy amounts of time on my hands which we were meant to be spending together. But boxing might help! I do just feel so powerless and angry and wanting to lash out.

It's always great to just fill your time with hobbies to keep yourself distracted. I love doing boxing class at the gym once a week because it does wonders for my stress. You can punch pads not people. I am not a person who loves to fight or anything (fighting would be my last option in a situation) but sometimes it's okay to feel angry. It's okay to want to lash out as long as you channel that in the right ways (like boxing). Obviously not everybody finds relief in that but I know that this is the first thing I'd want to do to get all my pent up angry and frustration out because I'm not the type of person to direct those emotions towards a particular person even if there was somebody to blame (in some cases, you're just angry and frustrated when there isn't a person to direct it towards). It's always better to get it out in a positive way than to hang on to it and push it to the side to deal with later.

You'll both get through this and be even stronger for it!

She was due to arrive today in time for her birthday tomorrow.

UGH, really awful timing for things to go wrong! Sending good thoughts your way.

I wanted to share my phone call experience with everyone as a caution NOT to bother calling for updates. 

Results:
A) They did confirm that a decision had been made on May 28th

B) the man on the phone explained that it can take 10 working days and that I would receive it today. This is impossible bc UPS hadn't even shown it being picked up. When I brought that up, his response was that UPS doesn't always update and that it is in route.

C) after spending 5 mins he then claims to admit the process saying that the documents are send to the U.K. and scanned.  From there they are sent back to the states until they receive a decision and they are then shipped to the applicant. That this is something he is sharing with me because it's been over 10 days and knows my frustration. Again, I asked why does VPS create shipping labels for returning documents originating from the UK at the cost of $140 when they UPS from the states and that people had posted their ups tracking showing it originated from Sheffield?  As well as VPS stating to include the shipping label and UPS envelope in the application packet. He had no answer for this and changed the subject.

At this point I know I'm being fed scripted BS and lies... so I'm confirming all he has said to me.

He concludes saying that if he "escalates" it now that it would pull my application and I could potentially end up waiting an additional 5 days for it to be "back on track".  And that if I don't receive it by Friday to call again.

(Fat chance of me wasting my time and $ on them again)

So, in conclusion, the website if it does say a decision has been made, that is accurate and it is supposed to be shipped out the next business day (he stated and I forgot to mention above) BUT if you don't get it in the specified window of time... just spend the $30-50 on a mani/pedi and a latte and wait.

Yeah... well, not much I can say to that .

However, he may be correct for some countries in that I believe the documents are sent back to the Application Support Centres in those countries and then mailed out to applicants (or applicants pick them up in person), but that's not how it works for applications made in the US!


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As we know B and C are incorrect, it *does* also make me question if A is correct or not.  It is highly unusual for an application to not be sent within a week of a decision.

But it does confirm my theory that calling the call centre can slow your application down.  But then again, who knows if that is correct or not too.

Thank you - so do I - I and we can adapt to the waiting time being about a month longer than expected (and her consequently being without a home, most of her belongings, job and medical insurance by July). We can even adjust to knowing we have to get all original documents again, reapply and wait well into Autumn. What I cannot handle is having no clue what is happening, whether they have our documents, and follow up letters, and whether we are going to get a decision letter this week or next month to say declined on the basis of our received documents going awry. She was due to arrive today in time for her birthday tomorrow. We had a refundable flight (as it of course costs less than half booked at right time) and the flight costs now are pretty much unaffordable. Great there is this space and all of you - thanks.

I really feel for you. What a nightmare.

The only tiny bit of help I can offer is to check out Thomas Cook flights. If your wife can get to a city in the US where they fly, she can get very cheap last-minute flights. https://www.thomascook.com/

I sure wish I had any advice or knowledge.

Yeah... well, not much I can say to that .

However, he may be correct for some countries in that I believe the documents are sent back to the Application Support Centres in those countries and then mailed out to applicants (or applicants pick them up in person), but that's not how it works for applications made in the US!


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yeah he first confirmed that I as a US applicant before the story about sending it back.  So, i'm going to go for a mani/pedi & a latte on Friday instead.  LOL!

yeah he first confirmed that I as a US applicant before the story about sending it back.  So, i'm going to go for a mani/pedi & a latte on Friday instead.  LOL!

Have one for me too!  Pedicures are just not the same here (at least not in my area... and we won't talk about how much they cost!)

It took me a YEAR to find a nail salon in the UK that I liked as much as my US one. Even then, it's pricey, and I end up spending more than I would dream of. But so worth it as a splurge treat.

It took me a YEAR to find a nail salon in the UK that I liked as much as my US one. Even then, it's pricey, and I end up spending more than I would dream of. But so worth it as a splurge treat.

I found someone that does good nails.  But just the nails.  Cut, file, cuticles, polish (shellac).  No exfoliating, massage, water soak.  £40 for a manicure and £60 for a pedicure.     They look beautiful for weeks.  But that's a LOT of money!

I think I was lucky in that I only ever really went to get manicures/pedicures for special occasions so it wasn't something that I personally missed. It was one less thing for me to worry about but I feel all that stress just transferred over to being able to find a good hairdresser!

I think I was lucky in that I only ever really went to get manicures/pedicures for special occasions so it wasn't something that I personally missed. It was one less thing for me to worry about but I feel all that stress just transferred over to being able to find a good hairdresser!

I bite/pick at my nails when I get stressed. If I make them pretty, I'm less likely to destroy them. No idea why that is, but yeah.

Luckily, my husband found an awesome hairdresser around when we first met so I've just transferred to using him. 

I think I was lucky in that I only ever really went to get manicures/pedicures for special occasions so it wasn't something that I personally missed. It was one less thing for me to worry about but I feel all that stress just transferred over to being able to find a good hairdresser!

I used to get pedicures frequently in the US.  I miss them!  I always get one right after I arrive and just before I leave when I go back.

yeah they are just never as good over here!!!

Luckily, my husband found an awesome hairdresser around when we first met so I've just transferred to using him. 

I have had a few different ones. They all started off okay but after 1 or 2 visits, I didn't feel like my hair was turning out right so I would switch. I don't get my hair cut nearly as often now. I feel like my eyebrows don't get waxed right either so I end up trying to get them done when I'm home. Maybe I'm just too picky?