Random Question

My family is moving back to England over the next year.  It's a two phase move due to school timing and my needing a VISA -son is going back in 4 weeks, husband goes in January 2018 and my daughter and I are going July 2018.  I have said nothing to anyone at work except that my son is spending the summer with his Granny(which is technically true).  My feeling is that I probably shouldn't say more until I know my Spousal VISA has been approved.  However, that's a really long time to keep a secret and I'm not sure how I'm going to pull that off with half my family in another country.

We've been planning this for almost a year already and I've nearly blown it so many times.  I'm thinking I'll have to let them know our plan in January once my husband is over there, but I know that sometimes giving a long notice can be detrimental.  My company is small and very relaxed and we're more like family.  I do hold a key position but it's not like they can't survive without me.  Anyone have some sage advice?

I also worked for a small department before I moved (large company but IT was pretty isolated). They knew I would be leaving a year before I actually left, since once the engagement ring appeared it raised questions  I didn't have any issues with work because of it, although obviously that may not apply to you. It did make it easier to start transferring my duties before I left, because I had several months to train a replacement.

Personally, I would find it difficult not to tell people I see constantly. Have you told your friends? Do the two groups overlap at all? (i.e., could someone accidentally let it slip?)

We've been planning our move for a while now too and find ourselves in a similar situation. I work for a small office of a much larger company and decided I would be open with my supervisor. She has been very supportive and has agreed to be a reference as I apply to jobs, and not much has changed which is a relief.

My husband on the other hand decided to keep it a secret because he does not yet have a passport in hand. It has been hard since we have told friends, except the ones he works with, and I have come very close to spilling the beans on multiple occasions.

I would listen to your gut on this one, it sounds to me like you should probably keep it under your hat for a little while longer at least.

I would wait.  You don't plan to move for over a year.  While we've seen many people have long term plans that lined up exactly, we've had many where things changed (just life getting in the way and throwing a curveball).  I'd tell them after the plans are at the point of no return.

When I moved to the UK, it was to be with my now-DH/then-fiance and it was just me moving (no kids) so my situation was a bit different.

We'd thought about applying around March, decided in May to apply for the visa, actually applied in June and was approved in July.

Our visa wait was relatively short, but still so stressful. We did tell some immediate family, but we kept even our engagement secret until we were approved.

It probably was a bit of a shock for people to hear, all in one go, that we were engaged and I was moving to the UK and I was leaving in two weeks, but we decided our sanity was important and didn't was to be nagged with the stressful questions of if I'd heard back on my visa. It's stressful enough just waiting.

For us, it was the right decision to wait to tell people. I didn't have work (well, I did have a few short-term jobs that ended before my planned move date) to organise or anything to pack up besides a few suitcases so that made it easier.

There's nothing wrong with keeping it private for a bit if that's what you want but there's also nothing wrong with wanting to share your news.

Thank you everyone! Appreciate all the insight.  Think I'll keep mum until my husband goes over!

I hope you keep us posted on your progress! At least you know you can tell us about all the stress of waiting 

I have told HR and my supervisor, but I'm not saying a word to any of my immediate contacts until I have an approved visa. I'm mostly a remote worker so it's not too hard to do. I have to admit, while it's selfish, when I see people in person it's just nice to be around people who aren't asking me about the logistics of moving, the visa wait, etc. It's like a little refuge from the anxiety.

For my husband: When we started talking about it we wanted to be sure our (4.5yo) daughter was part of the conversation as much as she could comprehend, but we also didn't want our employers to know prematurely, particularly his. She went to pre-K the next day and told everyone. But I didn't know this. About a week later at pick up parents start asking if we're moving to England. There are a few shared connections among his office and her day care so that was a bit unnerving for a few weeks. We did manage to keep it secret from his employer until it was an appropriate time to share.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I'm sure you'll figure out what's best as the years goes on!

I will definitely keep in touch here as it's incredibly difficult to not talk about this at work! 

My friends that know about the move have been incredibly good about keeping their mouth shut on Facebook and other social media that has crossover from work colleagues.  I've created second social media accounts that will only be for my son and UK family and friends so that they can keep me updated with pictures etc.

It's all very cloak and dagger!  I imagine at some point I'll just blurt it out or say something stupid like "George looks so smart in his school uniform".  Then I'll have some explaining to do!