How to meet & keep new homegirls??

What I will say is that I started getting more involved in hobbies now that I can drive (independent mobility has been BEYOND amazing!).

I have existed under the belief that it will be the same for me.  I've been here 4 years, and only just got my full license in March.  Now I'm saving up for ILR next year, so won't be able to afford a car (eBay beater because it's just for getting around in, not for showing off) and the insurance premiums until after that.

Before I moved to the UK, I was driving cross-country for fun.  Once in the summer of 2010, I woke up on a Wednesday morning in Culver City CA, and went to bed the following Wednesday night in Brooklyn, NY.  I mean, I drove in the US! A lot.  Here?  Not so much.  But soon... sooooooon!

And independent mobility means being able to easily meetup with people without the ordeal of having to arrange a ride, or relying on them to pick me up every time.  It's all such a hassle to do anything at the moment.

I have existed under the belief that it will be the same for me.  I've been here 4 years, and only just got my full license in March.  Now I'm saving up for ILR next year, so won't be able to afford a car (eBay beater because it's just for getting around in, not for showing off) and the insurance premiums until after that.

Before I moved to the UK, I was driving cross-country for fun.  Once in the summer of 2010, I woke up on a Wednesday morning in Culver City CA, and went to bed the following Wednesday night in Brooklyn, NY.  I mean, I drove in the US! A lot.  Here?  Not so much.  But soon... sooooooon!

And independent mobility means being able to easily meetup with people without the ordeal of having to arrange a ride, or relying on them to pick me up every time.  It's all such a hassle to do anything at the moment.

Honestly, you are dead right about getting an ebay beater! All the cars we've had for me so far (My car is the beater car that we will use to take things to the tip or to make long drives on because it's far bigger than his and is auto) have been purchased either Ebay or through local car "car boot" website. We've got some amazing deals so far! We had an accord that we got for like £300 or somewhere around there and then sold it on ebay to a scrapper it for something like £400 (tiny profit but still a profit). Then we purchased a Civic (that was manual and I was going to give it a go) for £150 but I hated it because it was so much older and harder to drive than the new mondeo I was learning on lol. I now have a Passat which we got for around £400. We sold the civic for something like £600-£700 I think it was (my husband did all of the stuff so it might have actually been more) so we did make a profit so it was worth it! Touch wood - it's been running great for the last few months I've had it! It was previously a taxi so was a luxury spec model and was well looked after minus a few minor dents/scratches. It helps that my husband knows about cars so he can sort out a lot of the more minor things into the intermediate level problems so that helps save us money, but we also don't worry about where we park it as if somebody hits it, it's already got a few nicks in it so isn't the end of the world.

Being mobile has changed EVERYTHING for me! We live in a village now as opposed to a busy city centre. Now that I can drive, I can go hang out with friends without needing my husband to drive me and that is SO liberating as I hate asking him to ferry me around just as much as I imagine he hates doing it when he could be doing other things. I feel so much less guilty. And, for example, this weekend I will be hanging out with a coworker while their fiance is away for the weekend. We are getting pizza and watching lame movies in our jammies and I can take myself there and back. I don't have to have my husband give me a lift there and when I'm ready to go home I know I can just go without waiting the 20-25 minutes it'll take for him to get ready and get to me when I text him I'm ready to go. Even just going to get a Starbucks in the next town over and do some shopping when I want when he's not in the mood is brilliant. I can go do hobbies that are further away because I don't need to ask him to bring me to an area where it takes 2 or 3 x as long to get there using bus-train combos. Insurance is definitely a killer but it's helped slightly having him as a named driver on my insurance (so something to look into).

Driving, for me, as vastly improved my social life and helped me deal with certain aspects of my depression/anxiety. It took 4 years almost, but I'm getting there!

Honestly, you are dead right about getting an ebay beater! All the cars we've had for me so far (My car is the beater car that we will use to take things to the tip or to make long drives on because it's far bigger than his and is auto) have been purchased either Ebay or through local car "car boot" website. We've got some amazing deals so far! We had an accord that we got for like £300 or somewhere around there and then sold it on ebay to a scrapper it for something like £400 (tiny profit but still a profit). Then we purchased a Civic (that was manual and I was going to give it a go) for £150 but I hated it because it was so much older and harder to drive than the new mondeo I was learning on lol. I now have a Passat which we got for around £400. We sold the civic for something like £600-£700 I think it was (my husband did all of the stuff so it might have actually been more) so we did make a profit so it was worth it! Touch wood - it's been running great for the last few months I've had it! It was previously a taxi so was a luxury spec model and was well looked after minus a few minor dents/scratches. It helps that my husband knows about cars so he can sort out a lot of the more minor things into the intermediate level problems so that helps save us money, but we also don't worry about where we park it as if somebody hits it, it's already got a few nicks in it so isn't the end of the world.

Being mobile has changed EVERYTHING for me! We live in a village now as opposed to a busy city centre. Now that I can drive, I can go hang out with friends without needing my husband to drive me and that is SO liberating as I hate asking him to ferry me around just as much as I imagine he hates doing it when he could be doing other things. I feel so much less guilty. And, for example, this weekend I will be hanging out with a coworker while their fiance is away for the weekend. We are getting pizza and watching lame movies in our jammies and I can take myself there and back. I don't have to have my husband give me a lift there and when I'm ready to go home I know I can just go without waiting the 20-25 minutes it'll take for him to get ready and get to me when I text him I'm ready to go. Even just going to get a Starbucks in the next town over and do some shopping when I want when he's not in the mood is brilliant. I can go do hobbies that are further away because I don't need to ask him to bring me to an area where it takes 2 or 3 x as long to get there using bus-train combos. Insurance is definitely a killer but it's helped slightly having him as a named driver on my insurance (so something to look into).

Driving, for me, as vastly improved my social life and helped me deal with certain aspects of my depression/anxiety. It took 4 years almost, but I'm getting there!

Yes, yes, and yes!  My husband was the one who tuned me into the eBay beater thing.  He'd been doing it for years, and the car he had when I first came over was one he'd had for 3 or 4 years that he bought it on eBay for about £450.  He eventually sold it for scrap when the cost to get it to pass its next MOT would've been more than it was worth, so he didn't make a profit, but he got 3 or 4 years of use out of the car for a mere pittance.  And he has made small profits off of eBay beaters in the past.

Right now we have a previously-owned campervan and the Honda S2000 I bought in my 6-month visit before our visa ordeal began.  I don't like driving large vehicles, so I haven't done more than roll the campervan forward slightly when it needed moving for some reason.  And I don't drive "my" Honda because I care about it... I'm the reason we can't have nice things over here.  My husband drives it when we take it out for drives on the amazing Welsh roads at the weekend.  He doesn't like to take it into city centers, because then we worry about who will do what to it if we leave it parked somewhere.

But, man... when I do have independence, it's going to be sooo nice.  Have I mentioned lately how much I hate UKVI, Theresa May, and all the punitive immigration policies that only make our lives miserable without actually achieving their aims?  No?  Well, it's a lot.  I hate them a really lot.

Right now we have a previously-owned campervan and the Honda S2000 I bought in my 6-month visit before our visa ordeal began.

HAHA OH MY GOD NO WAY! My husband's car is an S2000! I don't drive it because A. it's his baby and that's too much pressure and B. I passed the test to drive all cars, but I am just not comfortable driving manual so I've not got enough experience to drive something which such small spaces between the gears. He avoids driving his when he can (so weekends and half the weekday when it's NOT his turn to drive him and his buddy to work, he will leave it in the garage as it's his "garage queen"). He hates taking it out more than ever now because it's a rare colour and since we stopped lift sharing when he changed roles and he's had to drive it more, he was forced to swerve out of the way of a van (and into bushes) where the side of his car got scratched and he parked outside the hospice his mum was in only to find out later that somebody had reversed into his car and scratched by his headlight. He was absolutely gutted and now tries even HARDER to avoid using it. When we park somewhere with it we park AGES away so nobody else is around us lol.

I remember being very frustrated during the process of getting my UK driving license as it was a super stressful time and I didn't understand why I had to re-test. While I totally get it now, at the time it just felt so unfair because it felt like just one more unnecessary stress that I didn't need. Got through it in the end in once piece though and now I know how to drive manual if absolutely necessary.

I do find needing to get a license here a bit frustrating ONLY because I don't understand why the rest of the EU doesn't have to. I was told one reason is because we drive on the other side of the road...which I totally get....but so do MOST other countries. Another reasoning was because road signs are different. Again, totally get it! But....other countries probably have other road signs as well and they aren't even in English more likely than not so that adds an extra hurdle.

The real reason is because those other countries all have a reciprocal agreement with the UK... if you move to the UK from, say, France, you can exchange your French licence for a UK one, and if you move to France from the UK, you can exchange your UK licence for a French one.

However, the US has no reciprocal agreement with the UK, which is at least partly because each of the 50 states has its own laws and they'd have to arrange 50 separate reciprocal agreements in order for it to work.

So, because of this, US citizens cannot exchange their US licence for a UK one and have to take all the tests to get a UK licence.

The real reason is because those other countries all have a reciprocal agreement with the UK... if you move to the UK from, say, France, you can exchange your French licence for a UK one, and if you move to France from the UK, you can exchange your UK licence for a French one.

However, the US has no reciprocal agreement with the UK, which is at least partly because each of the 50 states has its own laws and they'd have to arrange 50 separate reciprocal agreements in order for it to work.

So, because of this, US citizens cannot exchange their US licence for a UK one and have to take all the tests to get a UK licence.

I do get it, but I'm saying at the time I was stressed out and just felt like it wasn't fair.

EDIT : Realised I kind of phrased it differently than I meant it. Will amend now. Phrased it present-tense because I was thinking in the present but should have been past-tense. Multi-tasking fail as usual.

HAHA OH MY GOD NO WAY! My husband's car is an S2000! I don't drive it because A. it's his baby and that's too much pressure and B. I passed the test to drive all cars, but I am just not comfortable driving manual so I've not got enough experience to drive something which such small spaces between the gears. He avoids driving his when he can (so weekends and half the weekday when it's NOT his turn to drive him and his buddy to work, he will leave it in the garage as it's his "garage queen"). He hates taking it out more than ever now because it's a rare colour and since we stopped lift sharing when he changed roles and he's had to drive it more, he was forced to swerve out of the way of a van (and into bushes) where the side of his car got scratched and he parked outside the hospice his mum was in only to find out later that somebody had reversed into his car and scratched by his headlight. He was absolutely gutted and now tries even HARDER to avoid using it. When we park somewhere with it we park AGES away so nobody else is around us lol.

Oh, the scratches would break my husband's heart.  He tried not to let on too much, but I know he was really troubled when I clipped a curb and scratched the powdercoat on one of the wheels on "mine".  I suggested after that outing that maybe I should learn to drive in the UK in a car we didn't both love so much.  Like your husband, we park far away from anything on the rare times that we do take it into town.  Mostly, we just use it for occasional "fun driving" at the weekend, though.

This is the reason "off-street parking" was on our deal-breaker must-have list when house hunting:

MeetUp could also become your best friend. I know it's an amazing way to get out and do new things with new people, but I've not actually done any of that yet because I personally can't get past the roadblock of being the "new person" in a group that may have been already meeting for months or years prior to me.

I've joined a number of Meetup groups in each of the places I've lived, although I haven't done many things with them here yet. In my experience, there's almost always someone else new to the group when you are. And I've never really had a bad experience with the groups! It's a bit nerve-wracking trying to identify people from the little pictures on the site, but it's been a great experience for me.

I've joined a number of Meetup groups in each of the places I've lived, although I haven't done many things with them here yet. In my experience, there's almost always someone else new to the group when you are. And I've never really had a bad experience with the groups! It's a bit nerve-wracking trying to identify people from the little pictures on the site, but it's been a great experience for me.

I joined a whole bunch of groups when I first moved as there were tons in Reading....but I chickened out to going to any of them lol (once I filtered out the ones I'd have to pay for). It was totally and completely a "me" problem! I think other people would find it excellent!

I've joined some meet up groups as well. I really do think they can be good fun, especially if you're a bit more outgoing! It's tough being an introvert and still wanting friends though... (only speaking for myself here!) there are a few apps and some of them can even find groups that cater to your interests.

I've joined some meet up groups as well. I really do think they can be good fun, especially if you're a bit more outgoing! It's tough being an introvert and still wanting friends though... (only speaking for myself here!) there are a few apps and some of them can even find groups that cater to your interests.

What apps have you used? I've seen bumble being referenced on Reddit but wasn't sure if that was like other apps where you *can* meet friends but it's more for hookups/relationships and whether or not there's an active community on there. Not met anybody on a personal level who's used it to ask.

What apps have you used? I've seen bumble being referenced on Reddit but wasn't sure if that was like other apps where you *can* meet friends but it's more for hookups/relationships and whether or not there's an active community on there. Not met anybody on a personal level who's used it to ask.

I've used a few a while ago I quickly deleted and don't remember the names of (either because there was an influx of creepy guys or there weren't really people in my area on it) but the one I'm currently using is called Meetup. You can put in interests and it will suggest meetup groups in your area. Sometimes they're fun things like dog walks, dance classes, or other interest-specific things. A lot of times they're just gatherings in a pub.

I've used a few a while ago I quickly deleted and don't remember the names of (either because there was an influx of creepy guys or there weren't really people in my area on it) but the one I'm currently using is called Meetup. You can put in interests and it will suggest meetup groups in your area. Sometimes they're fun things like dog walks, dance classes, or other interest-specific things. A lot of times they're just gatherings in a pub.

Oh right okay. Very familiar with meetup but wasn't sure if there were any others

Oh right okay. Very familiar with meetup but wasn't sure if there were any others

I search for other apps off and on, I'll post here if I find any!

I moved here before I met my husband. But man, if I had to depend on him for friendship, I'd have two friends only and I'd never even see them.  He's a very introverted soul and is quite happy being by himself.  (His one brother is the same and he has a very quiet and reserved and introverted girlfriend).  I am also introverted and prefer my own energy ,but I am a bit more on the extroversion scale than he is.  80% of the time, my own company is good, but 20% of the time, I need to be with other people.

I am a ametuer musician (though sometimes I get paid, shock horror!  )  and play trombone in five different bands.  I went along to the first band because there was an advert in the local paper looking for trombone players.  I joined the band. Musical network grew and they say, hey come along to this one too. Soon found the musicians on Facebook and friended them. Found more bands.  Same. Musical network grows and grows. Soon you start organising nights out and activities unrelated to rehearsals and gigs.  Boom, friendships.

I joined an allotment that was starting up.  You dig, you laugh, you grow veg, you share tips. You create a facebook group. Boom, friendships.

I have a few friends that I know directly from work, that usually become friendships with organised (well in advance, lol) nights out. 

Some folks think social media ruins true friendships, but for me, it's our easiest way to  get in touch, chat,  and organise days or nights out.