Thanksgiving

I moved over a week before Christmas and that Christmas was the most depressing day for me. Yes I got to be with my husband for the first time on Christmas, but I felt so alone and far away after my family called multiple times after somebody new showed up at my parents.

Last year we went home for thanksgiving so wasn't so bad, but dreading this year again.

I should add that I come from a larger family than my husbands, who are all really close and my parents always host thanksgiving and Christmas.

My husband has his mum/stepdad and brother and sister in law. We don't get together on Christmas but boxing day. I'm trying to keep the magic of Christmas/family alive for our kid bc it's such a warm happy memory day for me. -_-

But this will be the first Christmas we don't have to split the day with {step} daughter so hopefully it'll better his year

That's an interesting approach.  I've always hated making those calls but feel very obligated to do it at Thanksgiving and Christmas.  On the other hand, I know if I did not call them, they would never call me.  Nothing is ever easy.

Funny, this happens to me too.  I am really sure that I become 'out of sight, out of mind'. 

Interestingly, all going well, I'm going to have my parents and my older sister here at Thanksgiving time, because of the large number of days off in a row everyone 'gets for free'.  I don't think we will be doing anything remotely Thanksgivingy that day.  I can sense the total relief from my Mom of not having to worry about it at all. 

Funny, this happens to me too.  I am really sure that I become 'out of sight, out of mind'. 

Interestingly, all going well, I'm going to have my parents and my older sister here at Thanksgiving time, because of the large number of days off in a row everyone 'gets for free'.  I don't think we will be doing anything remotely Thanksgivingy that day.  I can sense the total relief from my Mom of not having to worry about it at all.

I would love to be able to have my family here for holidays because I just think it'd be nice to not have to fly there for once! But my sisters can't afford to take their entire families I don't think (because I couldn't house both of their families and my parents in my house) and my parents would find it difficult to leave on the holidays because they'd miss "their babies" (aka grandkids). Wonder what will happen when/if we ever have children?

I would love to be able to have my family here for holidays because I just think it'd be nice to not have to fly there for once! But my sisters can't afford to take their entire families I don't think (because I couldn't house both of their families and my parents in my house) and my parents would find it difficult to leave on the holidays because they'd miss "their babies" (aka grandkids). Wonder what will happen when/if we ever have children?

One of my sisters has only ever come alone, not with their families because of the expense. My older sister has been a few times, but only once with her husband. He won't be coming this time either.  (But this is more because he doesn't want to, not because of the expense. Meh.  )

Funny about not wanting to leave the 'babies' though.  The first time my parents came at Christmas (It was forced, because we were getting married on the 30th December, so it made sense), they spent the whole time skyping back and forth to the grandkids (apple of their eyes!)  And they will do so this year on Thanksgiving too, no doubt.  I remember thinking, you don't ever spontaneously get on skype and call me or send me messages, even on the holidays, but gosh, you can't go 2 minutes without calling my other two sisters or the grandkids, who you pretty much see every day in real life. Whiney voice, "Visit with me, you never see me! Wine, wine, moan, moan, moan. "   
I really don't have any reason to wine or moan though, because I know I'm lucky that they can and do make it over!!!     

Funny, this happens to me too.  I am really sure that I become 'out of sight, out of mind'. 

Mostly I feel like this too.  My parents have international calling plans on their phones too, and never call.  My mom even made plans to call me a couple weeks ago and then forgot the day of.  So we facebook message, but my dad is pretty bad at replying.  I was really (pleasantly) surprised the other day when an amazon package arrived with a couple of books by an author he'd heard interviewed on NPR.  I guess it's not really out of mind for him if something reminds him.

One of my sisters has only ever come alone, not with their families because of the expense. My older sister has been a few times, but only once with her husband. He won't be coming this time either.  (But this is more because he doesn't want to, not because of the expense. Meh.  )

Funny about not wanting to leave the 'babies' though.  The first time my parents came at Christmas (It was forced, because we were getting married on the 30th December, so it made sense), they spent the whole time skyping back and forth to the grandkids (apple of their eyes!)  And they will do so this year on Thanksgiving too, no doubt.  I remember thinking, you don't ever spontaneously get on skype and call me or send me messages, even on the holidays, but gosh, you can't go 2 minutes without calling my other two sisters or the grandkids, who you pretty much see every day in real life. Whiney voice, "Visit with me, you never see me! Wine, wine, moan, moan, moan. "   
I really don't have any reason to wine or moan though, because I know I'm lucky that they can and do make it over!!!   

Yeah my sister that did come to see me came alone because of the expense. Both sisters (but I'm only really close with the one who came to visit me as the other one just doesn't seem to make the same effort sadly) have two kids (who, again, I'm really only close with two of them as I was there closely from the time they were both born until I moved here while the other fostered and adopted her two *after* I moved here so not had the chance to do much relationship building), so that can be very pricey for 4 people to fly. Not to mention one of the two that were adopted has severe ADHD (amongst other things) that they are still trying to manage so I don't imagine my sister would even want to make that type of flight with her kids just yet anyway. They are the ones that have the money to do it, but I don't foresee them ever actually doing it. My other sister, on the other hand, would KILL to take her kids here but they just genuinely can't afford it. They literally told her - if given the choice - they would rather come to England and visit me than go to Disney Land so they are constantly saving up (and I can house the 4 of them with no problem), but the flights are just still so much for them to be able to spend - especially as they just bought a house and things keep needing replacing which aren't cheap!

My parents thankfully don't do that when they come visit and they always make efforts to call me. I talk to my close sister and my mom weekly/bi-weekly on the phone and I'll text my closer sister on the regular (or, more, her children steal her phone and text me LOL). My mom and one sister definitely put in the effort, but I don't envision my mom being able to leave the kids while they are still younger (the oldest only just turned double-digits this year) to come and spend these "family holidays" with just me and my husband. I mean, I get it...but it does suck as it would be nice for them to come to me during expensive travelling season to allow us to open up our home and share our new traditions with them....but...yeah..I get it.

  I am really sure that I become 'out of sight, out of mind'. 

I know for a fact that I am out of sight, out of mind.  My mom has friends who thought she has only one daughter... my sister...until I put them right.  (This has really happened!)

I know for a fact that I am out of sight, out of mind.  My mom has friends who thought she has only one daughter... my sister...until I put them right.  (This has really happened!)

 

Oh man, I don't even know what to say to that.   

I know for a fact that I am out of sight, out of mind.  My mom has friends who thought she has only one daughter... my sister...until I put them right.  (This has really happened!)

That makes me so sad!!

My parents and I have a weekly FaceTime "date" on Sunday evenings.  And they visit at least once a year and we go there the same.  I've also had friends and other family come see *me*.  So quite lucky!

My brother hasn't been and probably never will.  If I paid, they'd come.  I still don't think my brother would really want to (he's a homebody) but my SIL would love it.  I do hope my niece and nephews will come visit when they are older!

That's very sad to hear ! I've always been close to my family, but I feel like being away has strengthened it even more. I talk to my mom almost everyday. It's usually easier for us to visit them, than the other way around. So, they plan to visit once a year/every other year, while I (and hubs too sometimes) visit them more frequently. Last year my sister, BIL, their 3 kids, and my parents all came for 9 days. We had the BEST time together, and got around to see so many different places (it was their first time ever in the UK). They considered it the trip of a lifetime and they're looking forward to coming back.

My oldest sister, who lives in Florida, will never come to visit. She and her husband just have no interest in traveling and are homebodies. If they go anywhere, it's usually work related or it's to visit our family in Ohio. They are very busy/wrapped up in their personal lives- they breed horses, are both workaholics in top management positions... My husband is disappointed by this but I know it's just how they are, and I have no hard feelings about them not visiting.


I decorate for Halloween and leave the general "fall" decorations around for Thanksgiving. We always have a Thanksgiving dinner together, though we usually celebrate it on Saturday instead of Thursday.

Last year he invited some work friends for Thanksgiving, who I'd only met once before. His friends were interested to try pumpkin pie, so I made it (my husband is pretty vocal about his distaste for anything pumpkin, so we usually do apple pie or something if we're celebrating alone). He still took a bite of the pumpkin pie, and promptly said in front of our guests "this tastes like vomit" and started laughing ! After being in a hot kitchen all day working hard to have everything just so, I was in NO mood to hear this kind of comment. I scolded him and told him he wasn't being very nice. After our guests left he apologized for being rude. Oh, and the pie, imo, was delicious. If you need a good one I highly recommend Ina Garten's 

If you need a good one I highly recommend Ina Garten's 

People think I'm a good cook.  My secret is ALL my recipes are from Ina!  She's never let me down.  I'll try her pie recipe as soon as I'm no longer on an exclusion diet.  Haven't tried any of her sweet stuff!

I know for a fact that I am out of sight, out of mind.  My mom has friends who thought she has only one daughter... my sister...until I put them right.  (This has really happened!)

Are you ready for this one ......  I went away for three months and my mother (who I was living with) moved and didn't tell me.  and I am serious!  I regard it as funny.

How fantastic that you have your own life with your spouse and you don't have to feel guilty about not including people.  You are officially now your own person.  Wonderful if your Mum, or anyone else, chooses to be with you.  It really does release you from lots of emotional blackmail.  Life is good!

People think I'm a good cook.  My secret is ALL my recipes are from Ina!

It was the best pumpkin pie I've had! It's called ultimate pumpkin pie with rum whipped cream. There's a chance we may go to the US for Thanksgiving, and I know if I made this my family would love it. I too follow her recipes and they've never let me down. I have her cookbooks in my kitchen 

Last year he invited some work friends for Thanksgiving, who I'd only met once before. His friends were interested to try pumpkin pie, so I made it (my husband is pretty vocal about his distaste for anything pumpkin, so we usually do apple pie or something if we're celebrating alone). He still took a bite of the pumpkin pie, and promptly said in front of our guests "this tastes like vomit" and started laughing ! After being in a hot kitchen all day working hard to have everything just so, I was in NO mood to hear this kind of comment. I scolded him and told him he wasn't being very nice. After our guests left he apologized for being rude. Oh, and the pie, imo, was delicious. If you need a good one I highly recommend Ina Garten's 

While I agree with your husband on the anything-pumpkin thing*, I can't believe he would do that!  Your guests were trying it for the first time.  He knew he didn't like pumpkin.  You made the pie yourself...  .  There are so many reasons why his remark was inappropriate!  Why would he even try it in front of company if he can't control his outbursts?

When I have a kitchen/oven again, I intend to make pumpkin pie for my husband.  I'm pretty sure he will like it.  Probably.  Most people do.  And I don't eat most sweet stuff, so I have no problem making yet another one that he will eat and I won't. 

* I liked pumpkin pie the very first time I had it, when my preschool class went to a cider mill and my fieldtrip-chaperone mom got a slice and shared it with me, but I have never liked it since.  This makes me sad because I remember how much I enjoyed it at the time, and I know it tastes the same (apart from minor recipe variations).  But now... bleh.  I just can't figure out why I hate it so much.

Oh, I know. I was so embarrassed in front of our guests (who I hardly knew!), and he was in the dog house for his comment. I love him dearly and he has so many wonderful points about him, but he lacks tact sometimes- esp. in social situations. He'll say something to be "funny" but it can just come across as insensitive or immature. I've made him more aware of this since we've been married, but he still slips up on occasion.

I like anything pumpkin. Pumpkin pie, pumpkin cupcakes, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin spice latte... list goes on!