Thanksgiving

Bizarre thought about how it's like seeing how their lives continue after you die.  I have a similar thought about how it feels like I am the great peacemaker when I come home.  We want to meet at my Uncle's house but his daughter hasn't been there since he remarried and can't stand to see the house changed by another woman.  But, since Nelson Mandela (me) is coming to town, she's going to come for lunch....and I'm supposed to care!  Ugh.

hahaha i love that you just compared yourself to Nelson Mandela. I can relate though, it's like you're the golden child the second you come home. my mom tells me she wants to have gatherings at the house so that people can come and see me (I HATE it) and when I object she's like "but people want to see youu!!". I'm like these people didn't give two sh*ts until I moved abroad and now I'm mrs. popularity.

Bizarre thought about how it's like seeing how their lives continue after you die.  I have a similar thought about how it feels like I am the great peacemaker when I come home.  We want to meet at my Uncle's house but his daughter hasn't been there since he remarried and can't stand to see the house changed by another woman.  But, since Nelson Mandela (me) is coming to town, she's going to come for lunch....and I'm supposed to care!  Ugh.

Ugh, indeed... I feel like, if that's what's going on with all of them, that shouldn't be related to you.  It's putting pressure on you, somehow.  Like it'll feel like your fault if the daughter doesn't cope with things well and there's an ugly confrontation, even though all the individuals are making their own decisions.

hahaha i love that you just compared yourself to Nelson Mandela. I can relate though, it's like you're the golden child the second you come home. my mom tells me she wants to have gatherings at the house so that people can come and see me (I HATE it) and when I object she's like "but people want to see youu!!". I'm like these people didn't give two sh*ts until I moved abroad and now I'm mrs. popularity.

Really?  I have been Mrs. Popularity since moving abroad, but mostly because people think that suddenly I can be their base when they go on their British holiday.  One guy I only know through a mutual friend on Facebook (and I chauffeured him around LA for a few days when he used that mutual friend's house as a base for his LA conference stay) recently learned I live in Wales and all but invited himself to stay with me because he's "visited Cardiff, but would like to see Swansea next time".  I like to think that I deftly shut that down without being rude but also without an impending visit.

Ugh, indeed... I feel like, if that's what's going on with all of them, that shouldn't be related to you.  It's putting pressure on you, somehow.  Like it'll feel like your fault if the daughter doesn't cope with things well and there's an ugly confrontation, even though all the individuals are making their own decisions.

Really?  I have been Mrs. Popularity since moving abroad, but mostly because people think that suddenly I can be their base when they go on their British holiday.  One guy I only know through a mutual friend on Facebook (and I chauffeured him around LA for a few days when he used that mutual friend's house as a base for his LA conference stay) recently learned I live in Wales and all but invited himself to stay with me because he's "visited Cardiff, but would like to see Swansea next time".  I like to think that I deftly shut that down without being rude but also without an impending visit.

I'm not sure many "friends" (actual friends and people who just want the "UK hookup") can actually afford the trip over here to visit to be able to even care about my existence strictly to mooch off my perceived "connection". I just imagine they ask my mom about me so much because they think it's a interesting talking point that I live over here and not actually that they care what I'm up to on a personal level lol

Don't worry JFKimberly, for the most part they are all talk.  One or two relatives will come in the beginning, then nobody ever comes. Ever. 
I have a very close relative that can't be named.  She has visited me once, she was taking a package tour and could see me in between bus changes for 3 hours.  Okay, I guess that tells me where I sit in the grand scheme of things! 

Sure, I share many things with Mandela. (Or Madiba, as I privately call him by his clan name)

hahaha i love that you just compared yourself to Nelson Mandela. I can relate though, it's like you're the golden child the second you come home. my mom tells me she wants to have gatherings at the house so that people can come and see me (I HATE it) and when I object she's like "but people want to see youu!!". I'm like these people didn't give two sh*ts until I moved abroad and now I'm mrs. popularity.

On our recent trip we arrived Saturday night after traveling all day with a three year old (who didn't nap) and a 4 month old.  We were NOT sitting in the same aisle.  So that was fun.

On Sunday evening my mom invited friends over.  At 6pm.  Did I mention we have a 3 year old and a 4 month old?  And we had been awake since 3:30am?  My mom was pissy because I fed my kid while they were there (which was rude for some reason, honestly I don't think they noticed and if they did, they certainly didn't care).  UMMMM, she is not a performing monkey!  Kid wanted BED!!!

By the way kiss of death, have you ever been to an aerial training school near Waterloo and the Cut?  My daughter is bugging me endlessly to take static trapeze classes there

On our recent trip we arrived Saturday night after traveling all day with a three year old (who didn't nap) and a 4 month old.  We were NOT sitting in the same aisle.  So that was fun.

On Sunday evening my mom invited friends over.  At 6pm.  Did I mention we have a 3 year old and a 4 month old?  And we had been awake since 3:30am?  My mom was pissy because I fed my kid while they were there (which was rude for some reason, honestly I don't think they noticed and if they did, they certainly didn't care).  UMMMM, she is not a performing monkey!  Kid wanted BED!!!

I would have snapped. You are a much stronger woman than I.

By the way kiss of death, have you ever been to an aerial training school near Waterloo and the Cut?  My daughter is bugging me endlessly to take static trapeze classes there

I've not! I've only done the hoops at my local studio in Camberley.

Who gets upset when someone needs to feed their kid?  Get over it

I'm not sure many "friends" (actual friends and people who just want the "UK hookup") can actually afford the trip over here to visit to be able to even care about my existence strictly to mooch off my perceived "connection". I just imagine they ask my mom about me so much because they think it's a interesting talking point that I live over here and not actually that they care what I'm up to on a personal level lol

This is true.  I've only had one friend actually visit, and they didn't impose at all.  They had a week's stay in London, financed by the spouse's employer, because he was there for a training or conference or something.  The couple stayed over a few extra days and made a holiday of it, and they took a train out to Salisbury for a day trip to see me and whatever sites we thought to show them.  We took them to Salisbury Cathedral and Stonehenge (which was shut, so we viewed it from the side of the road... this was in 2013, when you could still park up on the road beside it).  Then we went to a pub that had a riverside beer garden and the weather was perfect, and we had a really lovely afternoon before taking them back to the train station.

Nobody else I actually know has made the trip to see me.  Lots of people I barely know have hinted. 

Don't worry JFKimberly, for the most part they are all talk.  One or two relatives will come in the beginning, then nobody ever comes. Ever. 
I have a very close relative that can't be named.  She has visited me once, she was taking a package tour and could see me in between bus changes for 3 hours.  Okay, I guess that tells me where I sit in the grand scheme of things!

My relatives haven't even come!  Only my younger sister seems interested.  I think she will visit, eventually.  I have invited her a couple of times, but warned her about our spartan lifestyle (no kitchen, etc.)... I think she's fine with that, but she just hasn't been able to get the time, yet.  She's in the military and just finished her second master's degree in Ohio and relocated back to her permanent duty station in Florida (west panhandle, she's safe).  Maybe after she gets more settled and her husband isn't deployed so he can look after their dogs while she's away.

Sure, I share many things with Mandela. (Or Madiba, as I privately call him by his clan name)

Do you have a rabbit in your ear?

That's a funny story.  At first I thought it was a cute joke by the sculptors, but at the end I agreed it was a bit much.  They should have included a little sign language interpreter making a sign that doesn't mean anything.

This is true.  I've only had one friend actually visit, and they didn't impose at all.  They had a week's stay in London, financed by the spouse's employer, because he was there for a training or conference or something.  The couple stayed over a few extra days and made a holiday of it, and they took a train out to Salisbury for a day trip to see me and whatever sites we thought to show them.  We took them to Salisbury Cathedral and Stonehenge (which was shut, so we viewed it from the side of the road... this was in 2013, when you could still park up on the road beside it).  Then we went to a pub that had a riverside beer garden and the weather was perfect, and we had a really lovely afternoon before taking them back to the train station.

Nobody else I actually know has made the trip to see me.  Lots of people I barely know have hinted. 

My relatives haven't even come!  Only my younger sister seems interested.  I think she will visit, eventually.  I have invited her a couple of times, but warned her about our spartan lifestyle (no kitchen, etc.)... I think she's fine with that, but she just hasn't been able to get the time, yet.  She's in the military and just finished her second master's degree in Ohio and relocated back to her permanent duty station in Florida (west panhandle, she's safe).  Maybe after she gets more settled and her husband isn't deployed so he can look after their dogs while she's away.

Do you have a rabbit in your ear?

I've had a friend visit twice (once alone and once with her now-husband and that trip the four of us went to Spain as well together), my sister once so far, and my parents twice and they've actually come to see me not just taken advantage of my proximity to London. My sister literally just flew in for a weekend because she missed me and was drinking too much gin at the time of purchase (and she thought it was some amazing deal but it actually was not at all lol) so we honestly didn't even do much but hang out! I'm more than happy to not have people reaching out just to take advantage of my location because I just don't have time for that in my life lol  I've had people say like "I'm visiting London soon I think and I'll definitely hit you up!". They either aren't actually visiting or they message me and it's people I haven't spoken to in years and have no desire to see so I just tell them I'm busy or it's way too hard to get into London for a drink (and I'm not going for a piss-up on a weekday).

I've had a friend visit twice (once alone and once with her now-husband and that trip the four of us went to Spain as well together), my sister once so far, and my parents twice and they've actually come to see me not just taken advantage of my proximity to London. My sister literally just flew in for a weekend because she missed me and was drinking too much gin at the time of purchase (and she thought it was some amazing deal but it actually was not at all lol) so we honestly didn't even do much but hang out! I'm more than happy to not have people reaching out just to take advantage of my location because I just don't have time for that in my life lol  I've had people say like "I'm visiting London soon I think and I'll definitely hit you up!". They either aren't actually visiting or they message me and it's people I haven't spoken to in years and have no desire to see so I just tell them I'm busy or it's way too hard to get into London for a drink (and I'm not going for a piss-up on a weekday).

Yeah, I appreciated the fact that this couple were willing to make the trip out of London to Salisbury (rather than inviting me in to see them), and they didn't make demands on us... they just wanted to visit me and I could show them whatever I wanted, or nothing at all.  I think they would've been happy just to hang out at our house for the day, if we'd had the space to do that.  And they didn't expect an invitation to stay over, either.  They had a round trip ticket for the train with return that afternoon, so there was no awkwardness at all.

Can I just say I find Thanksgiving really miserable here.  You have to work, then you are obligated to call all your families and listen to them talk about what a great meal they are having.  And you don't get any thanksgiving meal because you've been working all day and don't have time to cook.

I definitely hear you, but at least this year I get to miss my family's other great Thanksgiving tradition: the post Westminster Dog Show argument.  Different cause every year, but it's always at exactly the same time. 

I am thinking of maybe taking 'Black Friday' off and calling that Thanksgiving this year.  And the next day too so I can lounge around eating cold turkey and cranberry sandwiches in my pajamas.

Can I just say I find Thanksgiving really miserable here.  You have to work, then you are obligated to call all your families and listen to them talk about what a great meal they are having.  And you don't get any thanksgiving meal because you've been working all day and don't have time to cook.

I moved over a week before Christmas and that Christmas was the most depressing day for me. Yes I got to be with my husband for the first time on Christmas, but I felt so alone and far away after my family called multiple times after somebody new showed up at my parents.

Last year we went home for thanksgiving so wasn't so bad, but dreading this year again.