Never felt so lonely!

I really need a place to rant!

I've been here 8 years now and I never felt as lonely as I do now. I have my husband...and that is pretty much it. He's great, don't get me wrong, but I need my own friends.

I have one friend from university who lives in the same area as I do. However, she is attached at the hip to her boyfriend and it makes it hard to make plans to go out.

I stay busy...REALLY busy. I am self-employed (which is lonely anyways) but go out to every networking event I can, I go to the gym, take classes, go to a craft group, and I talk to lots of people but I wouldn't say I have anyone around my age who is my friend. My husband even jokes about how I have no friends, athough he doesn't really either except for workmates so we're kind of like two peas in a pod really! But I can't believe how lonely I feel despite being so busy. I find a lot of people already have their group of friends and they tend to stick to themselves.

I joined the Americans in Manchester Facebook group and the majorite of them live in the posh side of Manchester (where all the footballers live). They arrange meetups, but it's always in super expensive places.

My family has also sort of fallen apart back home. Long story there, but that and the fact that my husband doesn't really talk to his means I feel like I lack family too.

Sometimes I just want to cuddle up with some comforts from home to make me feel better, but despite begging on social media, I literally can't get one of my friends or family members to send me some goodies from home -_- (I have offered to pay too, so I wasn't asking them to do it for free).

I don't really expect anyone to have an answer, I just appreciate the place to have a rant :-)

I really need a place to rant!

I've been here 8 years now and I never felt as lonely as I do now. I have my husband...and that is pretty much it. He's great, don't get me wrong, but I need my own friends.

I have one friend from university who lives in the same area as I do. However, she is attached at the hip to her boyfriend and it makes it hard to make plans to go out.

I stay busy...REALLY busy. I am self-employed (which is lonely anyways) but go out to every networking event I can, I go to the gym, take classes, go to a craft group, and I talk to lots of people but I wouldn't say I have anyone around my age who is my friend. My husband even jokes about how I have no friends, athough he doesn't really either except for workmates so we're kind of like two peas in a pod really! But I can't believe how lonely I feel despite being so busy. I find a lot of people already have their group of friends and they tend to stick to themselves.

I joined the Americans in Manchester Facebook group and the majorite of them live in the posh side of Manchester (where all the footballers live). They arrange meetups, but it's always in super expensive places.

My family has also sort of fallen apart back home. Long story there, but that and the fact that my husband doesn't really talk to his means I feel like I lack family too.

Sometimes I just want to cuddle up with some comforts from home to make me feel better, but despite begging on social media, I literally can't get one of my friends or family members to send me some goodies from home -_- (I have offered to pay too, so I wasn't asking them to do it for free).

I don't really expect anyone to have an answer, I just appreciate the place to have a rant :-)

I don't really have any advice (and you don't seem to be looking for any).  I just wanted to say I hear you.  Clearly, you are doing everything that you can do, taking classes, going to the gym, etc.  Those are the sorts of things I would've advised, but if you're already doing it... *helpless shrug*

It probably won't make you feel any better to know that the closest thing I have to a friend in the UK is my 60-something year old neighbor who comes by to visit with me usually once a week.  Mostly, it's to check that I'm doing okay because she knows I'm here alone while my husband is in Salisbury working during the week.  But sometimes, it's a genuine social call.  Anyway, she's nice, and she'd do anything for me, but she's more of a maternal figure than a friend.

Did you see nctami72's thing about her massive Target order?  I need to look into how that works.  It could be a way for you to get some of your comfort things for cheap (she pays no, or very little, shipping...?).  Here's a link to the post/thread where she first mentions it.  http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?topic=46352.msg1191310#msg1191310

I don't really have any advice (and you don't seem to be looking for any).  I just wanted to say I hear you.  Clearly, you are doing everything that you can do, taking classes, going to the gym, etc.  Those are the sorts of things I would've advised, but if you're already doing it... *helpless shrug*

It probably won't make you feel any better to know that the closest thing I have to a friend in the UK is my 60-something year old neighbor who comes by to visit with me usually once a week.  Mostly, it's to check that I'm doing okay because she knows I'm here alone while my husband is in Salisbury working during the week.  But sometimes, it's a genuine social call.  Anyway, she's nice, and she'd do anything for me, but she's more of a maternal figure than a friend.

Did you see nctami72's thing about her massive Target order?  I need to look into how that works.  It could be a way for you to get some of your comfort things for cheap (she pays no, or very little, shipping...?).  Here's a link to the post/thread where she first mentions it.  http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?topic=46352.msg1191310#msg1191310

Thank you so much! I will have a look now. I must have totally missed that part bt it sounds interesting. I keep hearing about yummy new pumpkin spice stuff out (I'm an addict - haha) but I can't always find them on Amazon.

I would say the closest I have to friends are the older ladies in the craft group I go to. But they're 70, and not exactly up for going to the pub on a Friday evening!

Thank you so much! I will have a look now. I must have totally missed that part bt it sounds interesting. I keep hearing about yummy new pumpkin spice stuff out (I'm an addict - haha) but I can't always find them on Amazon.

I would say the closest I have to friends are the older ladies in the craft group I go to. But they're 70, and not exactly up for going to the pub on a Friday evening!

Exactly!  My neighbor's idea of a good time is going to her card crafting group.  I don't mind crafting, in general, but I can't imagine limiting myself to only doing card crafts.  I do all the things!

After posting the link to nctami72's old post, I had a look.  The website is called Border Free, and it seems that the free shipping deals are occasional.  You have to keep watching the offers page for the shop you want to order from.

Exactly!  My neighbor's idea of a good time is going to her card crafting group.  I don't mind crafting, in general, but I can't imagine limiting myself to only doing card crafts.  I do all the things!

After posting the link to nctami72's old post, I had a look.  The website is called Border Free, and it seems that the free shipping deals are occasional.  You have to keep watching the offers page for the shop you want to order from.

I love to craft but like you doing just cards would bore me. I mainly knit in that group since there are people there who can help me and then try out a load of pinterest projects at home (which ultimately become pinterest fails!)

I will keep an eye out - thank you again!

Oh I'm so glad you've posted this. I feel the same way at the moment.

I've made one decent friend at work but we kind of had a falling out because we were put on an extra stressful project together at work and it impacted our friendship some. We've started to go back to normal but still...

I've been super busy with work and overtime and having my step daughter with us full time now but I haven't really fit in with the other moms yet. 

Funnily enough, my husbands ex partners mum is my closest friend here ( step daughters grandma.. her mum passed away and it's oddly brought us really close).

I miss my family at home. I feel like my friends have moved on. I'm in a friend's wedding back home next summer but I don't even know what's going on with it and I feel like I'm constantly chasing her to stay in contact.

My husband has some friends here (he's a native of London) and I thought I'd fit in with their wives; the guys could all go out and us wives stay home with the kids etc but that doesn't happen. Their friends with each other but never made the  effort to invite me around.

It's terrible but I've been comfort eating; which is the opposite of what i need to be doing lol.

It's a weird lonely feeling- I've got enough going on in life but yet I feel really isolated.

Oh I'm so glad you've posted this. I feel the same way at the moment.

I've made one decent friend at work but we kind of had a falling out because we were put on an extra stressful project together at work and it impacted our friendship some. We've started to go back to normal but still...

I've been super busy with work and overtime and having my step daughter with us full time now but I haven't really fit in with the other moms yet. 

Funnily enough, my husbands ex partners mum is my closest friend here ( Step daughters maternal grandma.. her mum passed away and it's oddly brought us really close).

I miss my family at home. I feel like my friends have moved on. I'm in a friend's wedding back home next summer but I don't even know what's going on with it and I feel like I'm constantly chasing her to stay in contact.

My husband has some friends here (he's a native of London) and I thought I'd fit in with their wives; the guys could all go out and us wives stay home with the kids etc but that doesn't happen. Their friends with each other but never made the  effort to invite me around.

It's terrible but I've been comfort eating; which is the opposite of what i need to be doing lol.

It's a weird lonely feeling- I've got enough going on in life but yet I feel really isolated.

It's such a shame we're all so spread out. I'd love to hang out with any/all of you! 
...and I'm not just saying that.

I don't want to say I am glad it isn't just me because this is a horrible feeling as you know!

I get the comfort eating thing! I am doing the same and it's killing my gym efforts haha!

I hope things get mended between you and your workmate. Work can be a stressful environment and will test people, so I get that too!

I want to add (just to get it out) I had another friend...who I thought was a friend...who had a girls only party at her new place and I was never invited. I shouldn't be at an age where it hurts I guess but it did. Have no idea why but don't want to ask and make it a thing. Her choice and I respect that, but I know I am going to try to stop putting energy and effort into having a friendship.

It's such a shame we're all so spread out. I'd love to hang out with any/all of you! 
...and I'm not just saying that.

That's lovely :-) I wish I drove! I am feeling kind of stuck in this town of mine.

That's lovely :-) I wish I drove! I am feeling kind of stuck in this town of mine.

Maybe that would help. Are you in a position to be able to start taking some lessons?

I've always said that as long as I have a pet(s) around me, I'm not lonely. (I'm good with my own company though).
Wonder if a kitty would help? Dogs are great too but cats are much lower maintenance if you lead a busy life.

Maybe that would help. Are you in a position to be able to start taking some lessons?

I've always said that as long as I have a pet(s) around me, I'm not lonely. (I'm good with my own company though).
Wonder if a kitty would help? Dogs are great too but cats are much lower maintenance if you lead a busy life.

I can't have any pets where I am, unfortunately. I LOVE dogs and I can't wait to move into our own home when I can have one (I would definitely slow down the other activities if I had a dog).

If I can find a good deal, I can probably start lessons. I will look into my provisional :-)

Big hugs!  It can be so hard.

I'm on maternity leave and even though I have built some good friendships, there's a LOT of time in the day.  And my baby was TOUGH those first few months.  Which is really really isolating.

I was told that I would really feel a part of the community when I had a kid.  It's sad how true that was.  I finally feel like people would care if I left!  lol!  BUT, I think that maybe helped me along a bit as I have many friends now completely unrelated to my kid-connection.

You are doing GREAT at getting out.  Keep it going.  At some point, out of no where, you'll realise you DO have someone to call when you are crying.  I promise!  I'd also recommend getting your license.  It'll give you a bit more freedom.  You can pick up decent cars cheap here.  It's the insurance that may kill you.

If you are ever down the Reading way, let me know.  If I'm functional that day (been dicey lately with no sleep), I'm always up for meeting someone new.

On a totally separate note, we returned from Clearwater a couple of weeks ago and LEFT A SUITCASE BY ACCIDENT.  Who does that?     Anyways, I'm having it sent over.  If you want anything put in it, let me know.  I'm having to have my parents take out all the liquids, etc., which will free up some space.

Thank you :-)

I was thinking before who I had to talk to because I have been holding how I have been feeling for a while.I mean of course there is my husband but I think everyone needs more than just their partner. There were a few gigs at my local pub that I would have loved to go to but there are some things I know my husband won't want to go to and I won't dare go alone so I'm missing out. I do hope one day I find that gig buddy and friend I can call crying!

I think with two young children it could be easy to forget a suitcase! :-D That is very kind of you to offer that. I feel cheeky asking but I have gone without for a while now so I would be happy to pay if space allows.

That's lovely :-) I wish I drove! I am feeling kind of stuck in this town of mine.

For as small as a country England is, getting around quickly isn't a thing. I've got my license now but I'm terrified to drive outside town. And I'm scared to death of taking a train without my husband.


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