Being able to afford a pregnancy/baby

So my question is  What is poor??  statistics  say  that  we are "richer" than  95%  of the general  population.. yet  My DH and I feel we are too poor to have  kids....  

if everyone waited til they felt like they could afford kids no-one would ever have any; my advice - do it, you'll find a way

i don't know what officially poor is, isn't the average wage in the UK £20 000 or something like that?

I TOTALLY agree with Britwife. None of the babies presently in my life would be here if their parents had decided to wait until they figured they could afford it. And if Jamie and I wanted kids we'd absolutely have them right now - and we live very much paycheck to paycheck. If you want 'em, and you have the love to give them, have 'em.... And before the "buts" start, obviously a person living on the streets or something is an obvious exception, but I'm talking about the "average" person - those of us on these boards who are perhaps not the richest in Britain, but do manage to keep a roof over our heads one way or another....

I think everyone has their own threshold. What is poor to you might not be poor to me. At the end of the day what matters is that the child is loved unconditionally, stays warm, stays fed, and stays happy. Money doesn't make you a good parent. Children don't need fancy toys and baby-gym meberships. Clothes, food, shelter, and love. And that can come pretty darned cheap.

So my question is  What is poor??  statistics  say  that  we are "richer" than  95%  of the general  population.. yet  My DH and I feel we are too poor to have  kids....  

It's worth thinking about what you feel you could give up - everyone has different ideas about what are 'essential' items in their lives.

I have to agree with everyone else, noone ever feels they have enough money to have kids okay well maybe there are a few exceptions out there who have that spare million lying around. If you are managing to live now, you will manage to live with a child your priorities simply shift a little. Many decisions come into play with having a child, finances really is a small one my opinion unless it is a case of truly not being able to afford to feed yourselves and your child.

Helena

I think everyone has their own threshold. What is poor to you might not be poor to me. At the end of the day what matters is that the child is loved unconditionally, stays warm, stays fed, and stays happy. Money doesn't make you a good parent. Children don't need fancy toys and baby-gym meberships. Clothes, food, shelter, and love. And that can come pretty darned cheap.

I remember when my best friend had her first baby (18 years ago!) - she bought one of the baby busy boxes -- with all the bells and whistles.  So what does baby go for?  THE BOX it came in!!!  We put her IN the box and she thought THAT was the greatest thing since dry toast came on the menu!

To me (and this is only to me or rather us-as in my husband and I), i want to be as prepared as I can possibly be before we have children.

There are a few things we have talked through that we want to accomplish before beginning a family.  We have taken a look at 'what we give up' as the above poster stated and realized that we won't be able to travel as much and do our own thing-so we're getting a lot of that out of our system in the next few years.   We want to be settled back in the states, with a house, with all debts totally paid off.  It's all attainable, as long as my pill keeps working its magic.  

But we don't want to wait forever.  We have thought of what we will GAIN by starting a family, and well, those thoghts are what keep me getting just a little bit disappointed when my monthly friend comes every month.

It's worth thinking about what you feel you could give up - everyone has different ideas about what are 'essential' items in their lives.

I agree 100%.  You have to be prepared to give some things up when you become a parent.  Unfortunately, a trip down the high street shows that most people don't feel that way.  And that's how you get "tearaways" and generally nasty children.

To me (and this is only to me or rather us-as in my husband and I), i want to be as prepared as I can possibly be before we have children.

I agree with this completely. After reading your post it made me realize that my initial response may have seemed like I was saying don't wait just have a baby. What I meant to be saying was that finances are really a small part of that readiness. I think you have to be prepared for your life to turn upside down, most of the upside down turning is wonderful but it is very difficult. Enjoy your time of easy travelling etc now and when the time is right and you are really wanting that child and ready for it don't let worry about money stop you.

Helena

Yes but also don't let not having the house/car etc as planned stop you.  If you've got plenty of child bearing years ahead of you then yes do all that but if like me, you don't meet  the PFOYUC (potential father of your unborn child!) til your mid 30s don't hang around for the sake of things like that. As long as you can put a roof over their head, feed and clothe them, that's their material needs taken care of.

if i were older, than i would be thinking differently.  i'm 27 so we figure we have a few years until i hit 30-then we start trying for a family.  my hubby is 6 years older than me, but that just means he'll be chasing kids at a later age....plus they'll need to be born closer together. 

My husband is supporting a family of 6 on less than £30,000 a year and we are pretty comfortable

if i were older, than i would be thinking differently.  i'm 27 so we figure we have a few years until i hit 30-then we start trying for a family.  my hubby is 6 years older than me, but that just means he'll be chasing kids at a later age....plus they'll need to be born closer together. 

I had a blast in my 20s.  I don't regret having put off having children at all.  It's when you start feeling that a child (and I mean to use that word, b/c babyhood is VERY short) isn't much of a compromise on your lifestyle (you'd rather stay in than go out, you walk right out of bars and nightclubs if you find the music too loud, you no longer feel the need to blow an entire pay packet on a pair of shoes, a spur of the moment 'mini-break' seems more trouble than it's worth, sports cars seem impractical to you) that you're about as ready as you'll ever be.

I had a blast in my 20s. I don't regret having put off having children at all. It's when you start feeling that a child (and I mean to use that word, b/c babyhood is VERY short) isn't much of a compromise on your lifestyle (you'd rather stay in than go out, you walk right out of bars and nightclubs if you find the music too loud, you no longer feel the need to blow an entire pay packet on a pair of shoes, a spur of the moment 'mini-break' seems more trouble than it's worth, sports cars seem impractical to you) that you're about as ready as you'll ever be.

Looks like hubby and I are just one step short of being parents-the mini breaks we won't give up!  lol

then again, he gets turned on by sports cars after watching top gear every sunday.