Being able to afford a pregnancy/baby

There's no question about it, children do cost money.

However, I think the thing is, as with other expenses in life, you can live on a budget quite easily.  It seems to me that it's very easy to get pulled into thinking that you "need" to have this or that.   And especially where our children are concerned, you feel like you're a "bad mom" if you don't get something that's top of the line or "the best".  In actual fact, a lot of the extra features on things are totally unnecessary. 

It's not to say don't splash out sometimes.  I things as much as anybody.  But after a year of going gung ho with my first, the bills were not fun.  And when my husband left his employers of nearly 13 years to be a partner in a start up company, I tightened our belt.  I graciously took hand me downs when offered and thought twice about any major purchases.  It was an eye opener about what was really needed.

When you're ready, a little bit of planning and budgeting goes a long way!   

Ah but wait til you see the cute little outfits they have in Gap you won't be able to resist! (I was a Gap hater til I had a baby!) Thank goodness for their great sales or we would be bankrupt.

LOL.  We used to call it The Wind Tunnel because I couldn't walk by without getting sucked in.   

I have a friend who put off having kids for years and years because of her fear of having to give up material things. We would talk about it and it was so hard for me to understand. I asked her if when she's older and she looks back on her life is she going to find her happiness in the fact that she drove the newest cars (which depreciate in value and are virtually worthless after a few years) and had all these expensive things or would having family around her bring her more happiness. I pointed out to her that having a baby doesn't take away everything you have and put you in the poorhouse but yes you do have expenses you didn't have before. But in my opinion it's all worth it.

She and her husband finally had a baby after 19 years!! of marriage and she said she couldn't imagine life without her. They still drive nice vehicles and have a nice home but those things are no longer the center of their universe. She said she was thinking of the baby almost as taking on a new payment or something....not realising the love and devotion she would feel for this new little person.

I'm not saying people who choose not to have children are selfish. It's just she wanted a child but was so afraid of having to give up things in order to have that child that she almost lost out on what she now feels is the most fulfilling thing she's ever done in her life and that's become a mother.

That's a really nice story.   

The biggest cost is childcare or giving up one salary.  Everything else is trivial in comparison.  If you can basically afford to give up one salary then you can afford a child (assuming you don't have to move house as well).

That's assuming you give up one salary....

Do elaborate

I was just thinking that quite a lot of families have both parents working, even if one is only working part time.  So certainly a reduction in wages may occur, but not necessarily the complete loss of one salary.

Even with 2 parents working, it's likely that one salary will be eaten up in the cost of day care.  For some people, having 2 incomes is cost prohibitive.

Day care (etc) is in my opinion the _most_ expensive part of having a baby.   

OK <sigh>,  if you can afford to give up whatever income it takes, or pay out for whatever childcare you need, then you can probably afford to have a baby.

The key thing is that the toys, clothes, diapers etc. are minor in comparison to the income loss/childcare costs.

Oops, I've just said the same thing twice - naughty!

Day care is also an unnecessary expense.  Using it is a choice.

I wouldn't say that Child care (lol...couldn't remember the word I wanted the first time) is an unnecessary expense.  Sometimes you do need both parents working.    But everyone's choices, and opinions of what constitues a valid choice, are going to be different.

I wasn't having a go at you JaqChic, I was just saying that not everyone gives up the second income. 

Some people (not me unfortunately) are able to work from home or have some other way of combining their job with looking after their child, that would be my ideal.

I think that would be the best thing too Britwife.  Although, I think a few days in the office (with people who can talk!) might be needed to keep my sanity.   

This is an interesting topic for me...I'm doing a course on HR and my work based project will be convincing the boss that we should have an onsite creche....