Ok, so I have some good news to share...
My passport made it to VFS this morning and they've emailed me, saying they're sending all my documents back today. If UPS doesn't screw it up again, I might actually have my visa in hand by tomorrow, so I can book flights!
Also, I've just accepted a job offer over the phone with a global engineering firm with offices in the US and UK. Super excited that it's all come together! Now I just need to get the house sold, send over a crate of stuff and arrange a flight for kitty!
Thanks everyone for all your advice!
Still thinking of you Dani, and sending positive vibes!!