Growing up 40 years ago

I was really touched by the story Nan shared with us a few weeks ago.  It really got me thinking about how people acted towards children 40 years ago and just how messed up it was. 

Here's my story that I was reminded of by that post:

I attended a school at 10 years old where the rule was that corporal punishment could be used after permission was gained by calling the parents. The stupidest thing my parents ever did was write a letter to the school giving them blanket permission to paddle me whenever they saw fit, no phone call required. My teacher was an incompetent old lady who could not control her class and she soon settled on the strategy of making a big deal out of paddling me in order to frighten others into behaving better. I was paddled often, not by my teacher because I was turned over to the school sadist who relished the job. She used a thick wooden paddle that would certainly gain you a prison sentence if you used it on children today.

What in the world were these people thinking?  They knew that my mother had committed suicide just a few years before and my entire world had been turned upside-down.  Who looks at a small 10 year old child in that situation and thinks "I know what he needs, a few blows with this wooden paddle!".   Now that I have a 10 year old son of my own, I simply can't believe any train of thought that makes sense out of that.  People were FU back then.

Gosh Jimbocz, so much that is so sad here.

I know my in laws grew up that “children could be seen but not heard” but they are an entire generation older.  Sadly they seem to feel the same way in 2017 and like being grandparents in name only.

I’m circa 40 years old but had a fun childhood.  My parents spanked but only for good reason.

I just feel like it is the act of a coward.

Go hit a 200 lb boxer and I would take notice.

Geeze jimbocz that's horrible. Horrible about your teachers and sad about your mom. I'm sorry, nobody deserves that treatment ever.

My mom used to tell me stories of the teachers snacking your fingers with rulers but nothing like what you've said. She got beat on more from her parents but that's another story.

I'm coming up to 29 and I did get spanked but as KFdancer said for good reasons and it didn't happen often.


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Attitudes have changed.....and will continue to change. I got "hacks" in school as well.....for trivial things. A friend of mine made funny faces (8th grade maybe?) and got me giggling in class......hacks. A few years earlier a girl in elem school asks me to throw some sand in the air(in a large sand box thing).....hacks. EVERY single boy in my PE class in HS got hacks because a few guys cut running the mile around the school grounds. He didn't hit me hard on that one since I liked running and he knew I wouldn't cut. Things like that are not ok now. But.......don't just go back 40 years, go back 100 or more.....it's likely hacks would have been considered soft punishment. I once had a parent tell me in a meeting (retired teacher on military bases) that if their kid ever caused a problem to just haul off and give em a good whack....no problem for them at all(I did NOT take them up on it). My mom(my dad was killed young) occasionally took the ol' wooden spoon to me until I got bigger.....no idea why but I'm sure I probably was driving her nuts.....that wooden spoon really stings. Things are changing....hopefully for the better.

What's a "hack"?

I'm 32 and spanking happened in my house, not often but it did. I've had a bar of soap in my mouth for talking back.

Hack- usually refers to something being swung at, but has a few variances....is in "That reporter is a hack". When we were given hacks in school it's just what it was referred to and not "spanking" or "child cruelty". Maybe it's a regional term for swinging a wooden big f***ing semi-bat....kind of cricket bat looking. I remember in HS (1972-75) that the PE teacher had a competition for the wood shop guys to make spectacularly designed ones. One had a cut down the middle.....not sure why, but it made more noise when it hit someones butt. I guess you could add psychological cruelty in there as well....

Things are changing.....100-200 years ago, hacks probably would have been "soft" punishment. Now it's not ok. Hopefully in the future everybody will love each other like Smurfs.

How do Smurf's love each other?  I'm sure it's blue.

How do Smurf's love each other?  I'm sure it's blue.

I'm NOT going there.......some young innocent person may read this.

awww, jimbocz, that's horrible.

My FIL talks about the corporal punishment he had in school growing up (A rough Newcastle area school).  Sometimes he was on the receiving end, but he smiles wryly when he says it and wistfully thinking of whatever prank he had pulled.

I wonder how many of these kids who got the paddle and the cane actually have/had ADD, ADHD, AHD, and autism that was never even thought about in those days? (Makes me sad).   

Thanks guys.

Phatbeetle, we did have one guy in the class who was on medication for hyperactivity.  He acted up frequently but couldn't be paddled.

Hack- usually refers to something being swung at, but has a few variances....is in "That reporter is a hack". When we were given hacks in school it's just what it was referred to and not "spanking" or "child cruelty". Maybe it's a regional term for swinging a wooden big f***ing semi-bat....kind of cricket bat looking. I remember in HS (1972-75) that the PE teacher had a competition for the wood shop guys to make spectacularly designed ones. One had a cut down the middle.....not sure why, but it made more noise when it hit someones butt. I guess you could add psychological cruelty in there as well....

Things are changing.....100-200 years ago, hacks probably would have been "soft" punishment. Now it's not ok. Hopefully in the future everybody will love each other like Smurfs.

Thanks, I know the word "hack" in all the usual ways, just not how you used it. Definitely a regionalism. It sounds like what most people would call a paddle. Hence the term, "I'll paddle your behind."

I've seen em with holes like Swiss cheese, and the one you described. They were normal oh oayment tools a few decades ago. If you Google "spanking paddle" you'd see what I mean. Or don't because it does pull up kink. What? The kink had to come from somewhere...

Well, my parents became adults in the Depression (as in the Great one) and things were just different back then. Look at what passed for humor - if you watch the Three Stooges it's actually incredibly cruel. Thankfully, growing up 50-60 years ago is not a mirror of what is generally (note that generally) acceptable now. Or, I'd like to think that, but I'm not convinced.

I think people resort to violence towards children as an easy out. Having raised one, I know that there are times when you are just at the end of your rope and it would be so easy to lash out at them. But you're the adult, and that's inexcusable. Plus, there's a huge difference between a swat on the backside and a beating. Not that I approve of swatting, but terrorizing a child emotionally or with violence leaves lasting issues.

When I was in high school in the '60s out in the sticks we had the "Board of Education" - which was the equivalent of a small cricket bat with holes drilled into to increase the impact. I was always too terrified to do anything that would have gotten me a meeting with the Board.

When the Daughter was in her first few years of school they would send home a permission slip re: paddling, and I returned it every year with a a message written about assault being a crime and that I would bring the most serious legal action I could on them if they tried any of that nonsense. The kid was a good student, but they made her life hell that last year we lived out there, and finally tossed her out of the magnet school on a trumped up issue. We were leaving anyway, so it didn't matter, but, sadly, it shows that the mindset is still very much alive in the US of A.

Jimbocz, I am sorry to read your backstory. All we can do is move forward, knowing better, right?

Thanks Nan!  You are right, it's all water under the bridge and a life lesson. The ultimate victory is having a happy family and good life.

Not that I need a victory over my parents, who made some bad decisions but weren't bad and gave me many things I am thankful for.