Author Topic: Are we ready?  (Read 397 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline ConsuelaLemonPledge

  • *
  • Posts: 104
  • Joined: Mar 2017
  • Gender: Female
  • Liked: 5
Are we ready?
« on: February 24, 2018, 09:06:51 AM »
I need I guess opinions, or maybe hoping putting my thoughts out there will somehow make me realize if they are valid or silly.  I have convinced myself that it is not the right time for a pet and I want to make sure my hesitations are not just my anxiety, pessimism, or indecisiveness.  Is that fair?

My husband had a lab, 14 years + and he had to let him go a little under a year I think now, might be a year.  Well, he is ready for a fur baby and I am just not sure, however I tend to be the type of person that looks at everything every which way and hesitate to make decisions because of all possible outcomes....it’s a miracle I finally married and made it here. 

I want to travel, not weekly or anything but would love to see Europe now that I am here.  I feel a dog will not let us do that.  Back home you can load them in a car and go from state to state, here we are talking countries...and we have no car yet.  Can anyone let me know their experience traveling with dogs in Europe?

When I go home, which will be once a year, I stay for 3 weeks or longer.  I don’t know if that’s fair to a dog.  My husband says family can watch it, but I feel that’s a big inconvenience...but he says that’s what family is for.  Not sure if it’s bc I don’t feel close to his family yet, if it was my sister I wouldn’t hesitate if she was open to helping.

Since he had his lab my husband has been diagnosed with health issues...so he is battling insomnia and a schedule that I feel will lead to me having to take care of a puppy and I have never house trained a dog...I know the start is crucial and I am concerned he won’t be there to do it and we will have a dog that will pee and poo inside.

We both are home all day, our landlord has told my husband “a home needs a dog” so I am sure he is fine with it, but I have fears of losing my job and not being able to afford a dog and I am the main provider.  I am so stressed about not tapping into savings for our next immigration phase....I mean to the point it keeps me up, I feel like once we pass this first renewal it will be easier since I think savings requirements are less for the next stage...but it almost seems silly stressing over that when people manage with less.

I guess in writing this I found myself deleting the other items I felt were also valid reasons, like fur all over the place, untidy house, smelly dog, wet puddles of slobber lol...so the good part is that I realized some of those things are pretty petty when your significant other really would love a fur baby.


Offline lyonaria

  • *
  • Posts: 2803
  • Joined: Jun 2014
  • Location: Derbyshire, UK
  • Liked: 384
Re: Are we ready?
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2018, 11:06:52 AM »
I need I guess opinions, or maybe hoping putting my thoughts out there will somehow make me realize if they are valid or silly.  I have convinced myself that it is not the right time for a pet and I want to make sure my hesitations are not just my anxiety, pessimism, or indecisiveness.  Is that fair?

My husband had a lab, 14 years + and he had to let him go a little under a year I think now, might be a year.  Well, he is ready for a fur baby and I am just not sure, however I tend to be the type of person that looks at everything every which way and hesitate to make decisions because of all possible outcomes....it’s a miracle I finally married and made it here. 

I want to travel, not weekly or anything but would love to see Europe now that I am here.  I feel a dog will not let us do that.  Back home you can load them in a car and go from state to state, here we are talking countries...and we have no car yet.  Can anyone let me know their experience traveling with dogs in Europe?

When I go home, which will be once a year, I stay for 3 weeks or longer.  I don’t know if that’s fair to a dog.  My husband says family can watch it, but I feel that’s a big inconvenience...but he says that’s what family is for.  Not sure if it’s bc I don’t feel close to his family yet, if it was my sister I wouldn’t hesitate if she was open to helping.

Since he had his lab my husband has been diagnosed with health issues...so he is battling insomnia and a schedule that I feel will lead to me having to take care of a puppy and I have never house trained a dog...I know the start is crucial and I am concerned he won’t be there to do it and we will have a dog that will pee and poo inside.

We both are home all day, our landlord has told my husband “a home needs a dog” so I am sure he is fine with it, but I have fears of losing my job and not being able to afford a dog and I am the main provider.  I am so stressed about not tapping into savings for our next immigration phase....I mean to the point it keeps me up, I feel like once we pass this first renewal it will be easier since I think savings requirements are less for the next stage...but it almost seems silly stressing over that when people manage with less.

I guess in writing this I found myself deleting the other items I felt were also valid reasons, like fur all over the place, untidy house, smelly dog, wet puddles of slobber lol...so the good part is that I realized some of those things are pretty petty when your significant other really would love a fur baby.

Well...why not look I to adopting a rescue or possibly a purebred dog outside of puppyhood?

Breeders sometimes have dogs that are older that either come back to them for no fault of their own or dogs that they kept that they hoped to use for show but would be happier as pets.

Also, a lab would probably not be the best dog breed for you. They need a lot of exercise to be happy, especially when they are young. The same for collies or any other working breeds.

You'd be better with a smaller or medium breed with lower exercise needs from your current lifestyle and health situation.

I would never ask family to watch a dog for 3 weeks, that's a long time. It's also part of the reason my husband and I haven't traveled as much. But I wouldn't trade my dogs for anything. We are looking into boarding for them and you can find in home boarding or people who do kennels.

And the most important thing. Don't get a dog if you don't want one. If your husband can't care for the dog and you don't want to do it, it will cause a lot of stress and isn't fair to the dog. 😊
I speak from experience.
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.

Offline ConsuelaLemonPledge

  • *
  • Posts: 104
  • Joined: Mar 2017
  • Gender: Female
  • Liked: 5
Re: Are we ready?
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2018, 11:33:31 AM »
I have thought about the older dogs, I am just so scared of getting a dog with bad habits...I have a friend that rescued a dog and she couldn’t do it, had to retun it to the rescue. She now has other rescue dogs so I guess it just depends where you get them from. 

If we get a dog we do want to rescue, but in the north east I am having trouble with finding a rescue on Facebook.  When he had his lab he would exercise him, there is a large field to walk dogs near us but I agree I think now a lazier dog would be easier given our current situation.  Husband has fallen in love with pugs, french bulldogs and Boston terriers most which concern me about cost to insure due to health issues.  I also heard about the show dog thing, a coworker suggested this as they got their dog just because it was too large for show.

I go back and forth on wanting one, because it is a lot of work. I keep feeling like the parent with the kid that is all I promise I will take care of it and then doesn’t...the worst part though is that for my husband it’s not because of not wanting to or because he is an immature kid, I just don’t know that he physically can.  If he was better, I know he’d manage it all and there would be minimal worries.  I keep telling him to talk to a dr about the sleep issues but right now he is not doing well most days to manage being up to make an appointment lol :( .  I feel like I’m letting my partner down bc I want to be lazy about it...ugh

I messaged a kennel place here that is on five acres to see about rates so I could factor that into costs...and you know what, didn’t think about in home boarding.  Did consider going back to the US on my own and he could stay and watch the dog haha.

This all came about bc one of the rescues I am following has some puppies and I am all...that doesn’t come around often, what if this is a sign and my indecisiveness makes us lose out haha....and I think this rescue will bring the dogs to you, which is something we are having issues with other rescues bc we don’t drive....plus they are so cute.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2018, 11:48:20 AM by ConsuelaLemonPledge »

Offline lyonaria

  • *
  • Posts: 2803
  • Joined: Jun 2014
  • Location: Derbyshire, UK
  • Liked: 384
Re: Are we ready?
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2018, 03:42:39 PM »
They are so cute!

We got our whippet Mylo as a puppy and he was adorable. He was also bitey, chewed on walls, furniture, books, his toys, and me.

He really was a good puppy but I was so stressed and depressed at the time. We probably should have waited.

We adopted Lily when Mylo was 22 months and she was about 18 months old. She didn't have any bad habits, just had absolutely no training and wasn't house trained. You can always talk to a rescue about what you need from a dog and a good one will help you get the right dog for you as they don't want to re-home a dog to have it returned.

We found Dogs Trust to be useless as we both work we couldn't adopt through them or quite a few other rescues.

You might find a whippet to be right up your street. They're medium dogs, easy to care for coats, couch potatoes after they get their daily walk. And they're so snuggly! (Well, the boys are more people oriented, the girls are a little more aloof.)
And they're very healthy, they do have thin skin since they don't have a lot of fat on them. You can see our boy on Instagram if you look for @mylopants. 😁
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.

Offline margo

  • *
  • Posts: 1237
  • Joined: Apr 2016
  • Location: NY - USA
  • Gender: Female
  • Liked: 269
Re: Are we ready?
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2018, 12:33:33 PM »
You may find having a dog helps with the health conditions. I am so much more at ease when I have my kitty to cuddle on the bad days. And they help friends with depression/anxiety actually leave the house because the dogs need walking.

I have a friend who did a lot of traveling through Europe with their furbaby on a pet passport. It may take some extra planning but it's definitely doable. They did a lot of hiking and that sort of thing and the dog loved it! For staying with in laws, I felt awful needing to send my kitty to them for a lil over a month while we got settled, but they loved having her around because her personality is the opposite of theirs... She's playful and only a little bit chatty. They would happily look after again for an extended period if needed. In the US I'd pay for someone to come to the house and watch her, usually a close friend so they charged less than the professionals. There are definitely a lot of options for care while traveling.

Many friends have gotten mid-size breed pups in the last year and they've been really happy. All of them mutts and fluffy & cute. They're not too hard to keep active and they calm down pretty quickly, without any of the snub nose breed problems. I wish you luck as you make this decision :)

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

Met: 2013
Married: 2016
Biometrics: 7/25/17
Mailed: 7/29/17
Confirmation Email: 8/2/17
Decision Email:
Received:

Offline ConsuelaLemonPledge

  • *
  • Posts: 104
  • Joined: Mar 2017
  • Gender: Female
  • Liked: 5
Re: Are we ready?
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2018, 01:09:39 PM »
They are so cute!

We got our whippet Mylo as a puppy and he was adorable. He was also bitey, chewed on walls, furniture, books, his toys, and me.

He really was a good puppy but I was so stressed and depressed at the time. We probably should have waited.

We adopted Lily when Mylo was 22 months and she was about 18 months old. She didn't have any bad habits, just had absolutely no training and wasn't house trained. You can always talk to a rescue about what you need from a dog and a good one will help you get the right dog for you as they don't want to re-home a dog to have it returned.

We found Dogs Trust to be useless as we both work we couldn't adopt through them or quite a few other rescues.

You might find a whippet to be right up your street. They're medium dogs, easy to care for coats, couch potatoes after they get their daily walk. And they're so snuggly! (Well, the boys are more people oriented, the girls are a little more aloof.)
And they're very healthy, they do have thin skin since they don't have a lot of fat on them. You can see our boy on Instagram if you look for @mylopants. 😁

I never thought whippets were couch potatoes o-o I assumed they loved to run.  Are they a different breed to greyhounds. Smaller?  Your pups look very active and it's cute that you have Instagram for them, great pictures. I am not sure how I like that they are so skinny, I would feel jealous that it's skinnier than us lol.

You may find having a dog helps with the health conditions. I am so much more at ease when I have my kitty to cuddle on the bad days. And they help friends with depression/anxiety actually leave the house because the dogs need walking.

I have a friend who did a lot of traveling through Europe with their furbaby on a pet passport. It may take some extra planning but it's definitely doable. They did a lot of hiking and that sort of thing and the dog loved it! For staying with in laws, I felt awful needing to send my kitty to them for a lil over a month while we got settled, but they loved having her around because her personality is the opposite of theirs... She's playful and only a little bit chatty. They would happily look after again for an extended period if needed. In the US I'd pay for someone to come to the house and watch her, usually a close friend so they charged less than the professionals. There are definitely a lot of options for care while traveling.

Many friends have gotten mid-size breed pups in the last year and they've been really happy. All of them mutts and fluffy & cute. They're not too hard to keep active and they calm down pretty quickly, without any of the snub nose breed problems. I wish you luck as you make this decision :)

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

My sister rescued a dog before I moved here.  When I worked in the office I was pretty stressed and I enjoyed going to my sister's to pet her dog and destress.  We dog sat for his sisters dog here and it got him more active since he walked her, as his dog got older he could no longer do the long walks. He loved sitting there with her on his lap while watching TV.  I know he wants one so maybe I need to be less selfish and agree to pick up the slack where he physically can't anymore...it's going to be hard x-X
« Last Edit: February 25, 2018, 01:21:04 PM by ConsuelaLemonPledge »

Offline lyonaria

  • *
  • Posts: 2803
  • Joined: Jun 2014
  • Location: Derbyshire, UK
  • Liked: 384
Re: Are we ready?
« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2018, 01:35:57 PM »
I never thought whippets were couch potatoes o-o I assumed they loved to run.  Are they a different breed to greyhounds. Smaller?  Your pups look very active and it's cute that you have Instagram for them, great pictures. I am not sure how I like that they are so skinny, I would feel jealous that it's skinnier than us lol.

Most people make that mistake about sighthounds. They're sprinters, they love to run around full tilt for a bit but then they tend to sleep the rest of the day. Or if you take them on a good lead walk, they're happy. That's all sighthounds, unless you get a cross with a working breed like a collie.

Mylos about 21" at the shoulder and weighs about 15 kilos and he's big for a whippet! He is on the skinny side... We are constantly trying to fatten him up. But you can't make a dog eat if he doesn't want to. He just has a high metabolism.

Whippets were bred from greyhounds, Italian greyhounds (the tiny ones) and terriers. They were and are still raced and people do use them for hunting rabbits, rats and other furries.

Lily (Saluki mix) on the other hand, we are trying to help lose a kilo or so. She's gained a bit as she's a scrounger. Too much weight is bad for their joints.

I thought the same as you originally about their skinniness. I grew up with miniature Schnauzers and corgis. But I realised that wasn't a problem. Vet says he's healthy and we shouldn't worry. He's got a shiny coat and good muscle tone. And I don't have to do long walks every day since my husband's health issues keep him from being able to walk them.

A lot of lurchers aren't super skinny, some are, and some of them are fluffy! I wanted a scruffy lurcher but they suggested Lily to us and she and Mylo got on well, so she came home to us.

Both our dogs are definitely skinnier than us! Haha.
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.

Offline KFdancer

  • *
  • Posts: 11994
  • Joined: Jun 2012
  • Location: Wokingham
  • Liked: 2524
Re: Are we ready?
« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2018, 02:50:36 PM »
What did your husband do with the lab when he travelled?

I agree that an animal could be REALLY good for him health wise.  Animals are amazing for both our physical and mental health.  But finding the right animal for you is key.  Does it definitely need to be a dog or could a cat be an option?  Cats are a bit easier.  Don't have to be walked for a start. 

I'd recommend not getting a puppy, personally.  Too much like a baby!  ;D

Offline ConsuelaLemonPledge

  • *
  • Posts: 104
  • Joined: Mar 2017
  • Gender: Female
  • Liked: 5
Re: Are we ready?
« Reply #8 on: February 25, 2018, 03:59:48 PM »
What did your husband do with the lab when he travelled?

I agree that an animal could be REALLY good for him health wise.  Animals are amazing for both our physical and mental health.  But finding the right animal for you is key.  Does it definitely need to be a dog or could a cat be an option?  Cats are a bit easier.  Don't have to be walked for a start. 

I'd recommend not getting a puppy, personally.  Too much like a baby!  ;D

When he would come to visit me in the states he still lived at home so his parents took care of feeding his lab Max, I guess he wouldn’t go on long walks though.  We live next to his dad now which is who he plans to have help but I feel his dad is getting old and he has a cat and two dogs already in the home so I don’t want to drop another one on him, not for a long time.

My husband’s mom’s cat visits us every now and then, she will sleep on our lap.  And though my husband spends time with the other family pups I think he craves his own. 

I had a puppy only as a child so don’t even recall how much work it was, but everyone says it’s like a baby.  I think for him he likes that stage.  He had his lab from when he was a tiny puppy, I remember him telling me how it was so tiny he fit in his hands and Max would sleep on his head and peed on him once during his puppy stage lol, he loved that dog.  As he got older he couldn’t walk as before because of arthritis, he became confused as he aged and also lost control of his bowels and was at the vet more often to try and help with symptoms.  Eventually the vet felt it might be time to put him to sleep, I think Max was 14.  My husband struggled with that decision so much because to him you wouldn’t do that to a person, but I guess once the pet is suffering and their standard of living is more negative than positive it sometimes has to be done.  He carried his dog back in his arms from the vet so he could burry it and he ended up planting a cherry tree above his grave.  I don’t know why he wants to go through that again but I think the good memories and unconditional love experienced is worth it.

Right now we discussed it and I told him we should throw our application out there for the rescue puppies that we found...I figure they will get tons of applicants for the same 5 puppies...if we make the cut then it was meant to be, if not then it’s not our time or they are not right for us...not sure if that is the most responsible way but I feel if we leave it up to me feeling we are ready, I can probably find cons to every situation to make it “not the right time”. The puppies are only 2 weeks, so they will not open applications until 5 weeks, so we will continue to research the breed.  Frenchies seem good for lazy owners but they do have their cons with health issues.  If we don’t get the pups then at least we have the house ready (need to work on the gate for the garden) for the right dog.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2018, 04:59:44 PM by ConsuelaLemonPledge »

Offline Albatross

  • *
  • Posts: 2538
  • Joined: Feb 2012
  • Location: 'doon the watter'
  • Gender: Female
  • Liked: 180
Re: Are we ready?
« Reply #9 on: February 26, 2018, 07:55:33 AM »
Most people make that mistake about sighthounds. They're sprinters, they love to run around full tilt for a bit but then they tend to sleep the rest of the day. Or if you take them on a good lead walk, they're happy. That's all sighthounds, unless you get a cross with a working breed like a collie.



I LOVE SIGHTHOUNDS!!!  We're thinking about volunteering for a week at Galgos Del Sol next year  [smiley=heart.gif]

I had a rescue greyhound who was the love of my life (he died about 6 or 7 years ago at age 14).  He genuinely used to sleep for at least 20 hours a day and was happy with just a big walk at night... once he heard the music from EastEnders, his eyes would snap open and his ears would stick up... he knew it was walky time!

If I was ever lucky enough to get another dog, it would definitely be a sighthound... another greyhound or maybe a galgo or podenco.