Tex-Mex food

Reminds me of when the Daughter was very young. We were out of cash towards the end of one month. She confidently informed me that we just needed to go get more from "the money machine" (ATM). And "the man" will just show up with the food. Ah, the miracles of technology. 

I mean, a carrot is a carrot.   

I am even fussy about carrots!    Do I want great big ones for soup (less time peeling) or little ones to be shredded or julienned and added to salad (much more work but sweeter and more tender)

Reminds me of when the Daughter was very young. We were out of cash towards the end of one month. She confidently informed me that we just needed to go get more from "the money machine" (ATM). And "the man" will just show up with the food. Ah, the miracles of technology. 

Yup, when I was a kid, I told my mom to write a check "because it's just paper".  Oh the innocence of kids!

I had a friend, in uni!!!, I kid you not!!!, who thought that money just came from the atm... His Mom really did not prepare him for the real world and she topped up his bank account frequently. 

I had a friend, in uni!!!, I kid you not!!!, who thought that money just came from the atm... His Mom really did not prepare him for the real world and she topped up his bank account frequently.

There are no words!!!!

It is funny that my kids are growing up with online deliveries as standard.  As my 4 year old said last night, "We need the man to bring yogurts tomorrow."  I think she genuinely thinks that  "the man" just turns up with food whenever we want magically!

Funny!  When Grocery Day comes each week, I tell my husband that "the man" brought us food again!  Grocery Day is a day of celebration in our house.  And I'm a 4yo.

When my little brother was 5 years old, I was taking him home from school and he wanted to stop someplace for a snack, and I said "I'm sorry, I don't have any money."  He said, "But you can go to the ATM."  He genuinely believed that it would just give unlimited funds, whether you had money in there or not.  It makes sense, though; he only saw the money coming out on demand, but not paying in.

EDITED:  There was a whole page of replies to this topic that I didn't see when I posted the same story you all did!  I hate when a topic flips to the new page between my site visits. 

I had a friend, in uni!!!, I kid you not!!!, who thought that money just came from the atm... His Mom really did not prepare him for the real world and she topped up his bank account frequently.

That is shocking!  He must have really wondered why people around him lived such spartan lives.

I had a friend, in uni!!!, I kid you not!!!, who thought that money just came from the atm... His Mom really did not prepare him for the real world and she topped up his bank account frequently.

Oh no! Is she still doing that to this day or did he wake up to a nasty shock somewhere down the line?

She probably is still doing this for him, to be honest.  He's 40 years old, didn't graduate uni, has never held much of a proper job and has spent his adult life sleeping on friends couches.  He's not got mental health issues or life circumstances that are hindering him.  He just can't 'adult' very well. 

She probably is still doing this for him, to be honest.  He's 40 years old, didn't graduate uni, has never held much of a proper job and has spent his adult life sleeping on friends couches.  He's not got mental health issues or life circumstances that are hindering him.  He just can't 'adult' very well.

I completely understand her feeling the need to care for him, she really hasn't done him any favours though. 

She probably is still doing this for him, to be honest.  He's 40 years old, didn't graduate uni, has never held much of a proper job and has spent his adult life sleeping on friends couches.  He's not got mental health issues or life circumstances that are hindering him.  He just can't 'adult' very well.

My brother is 34, has an associates degree, had a brief stint working as a policeman (didn't stay long enough to get to training), worked for a few years at the local pet shop before the big chain store moved into town.  He is married now... my mother pays for his wife's tuition (undergrad and now a master's degree), gives them a sizable monthly "allowance" for groceries and other needs, they live in her 5BR house where she pays all the bills (my mother doesn't actually live there... and she has told me that she is leaving the house to my brother), she buys them (new!) cars and pays for their insurance... everything.

I put myself through school, because every time I asked for help, my mother would say "It's not a good time... I just had to pay for (xyz) for (someone-who-isn't-me)."  I am glad I am me and that I learned to be self-sufficient, but there were times when I had to go hungry (most graduate students are familiar with this, right?).  My mother could've helped me a little.

(This is why I'm comfortable with not going home to visit.  My money can be better spent on things that make me happy... going to see that rubbed in my face isn't worth the airfare or my husband's leave time.)

My brother is 34, has an associates degree, had a brief stint working as a policeman (didn't stay long enough to get to training), worked for a few years at the local pet shop before the big chain store moved into town.  He is married now... my mother pays for his wife's tuition (undergrad and now a master's degree), gives them a sizable monthly "allowance" for groceries and other needs, they live in her 5BR house where she pays all the bills (my mother doesn't actually live there... and she has told me that she is leaving the house to my brother), she buys them (new!) cars and pays for their insurance... everything.

I put myself through school, because every time I asked for help, my mother would say "It's not a good time... I just had to pay for (xyz) for (someone-who-isn't-me)."  I am glad I am me and that I learned to be self-sufficient, but there were times when I had to go hungry (most graduate students are familiar with this, right?).  My mother could've helped me a little.

(This is why I'm comfortable with not going home to visit.  My money can be better spent on things that make me happy... going to see that rubbed in my face isn't worth the airfare or my husband's leave time.)

Wow! That's just shocking! You've been able to let it go?

OMG, jfkimberly, no wonder you don't want to visit. That's shocking!

Wow! That's just shocking! You've been able to let it go?

My husband has to stop me sometimes when some news from back home reminds me of the disparities all over again and I find myself complaining again.  I have to remind myself that nobody owes me anything.  I'm not upset about what I didn't get.  I'm upset about the difference in how we are treated.  It's inexplicable, too.  I really do not understand, and I quit trying to.

My husband reminds me that when we have finished with our house, we will know that we accomplished all this, and got through the visas, and we completed our degrees... and we don't have debt... we did all this on our own.  My brother and sister-in-law might have the big house and the shiny cars, but they didn't achieve anything.  It was just handed to them.

But, yeah, no.  I haven't really let it go.  I try, but it's easiest to just compartmentalize it.  My family are over there and I am over here.  On a positive note, my little sister is very self-sufficient, and she knows how it's all gone down, and she and I remain in regular contact.  I don't go out of my way to associate with the rest of my family... not since my dad passed away (three months after I moved here on my fiancee visa)... but I am looking forward to my sister finally coming to visit me (though that's been postponed because she just learned she's being deployed to Afghanistan later this year -- she's in a safe job, so it's not scary... just frustrating because we were both looking forward to her visit).

That’s horrible JfKimberley, but you know you are living the better life.  You can take care of yourself. 

Family money and how it’s divided is the root of all evil. I’m not interested in that fight, I’ll make my own thank you.




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