Author Topic: Would you stay?  (Read 332 times)

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Offline lyonaria

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Would you stay?
« on: June 12, 2018, 10:55:12 PM »
I gotta ask.

Would you guys stay at a job where the owner has said some dodgy things (poor people can't manage their money, every employee will go lame on you, says Donald trump is a great business mentor)
Pays you well.
You like the people.
Office is great.
Owner is a bit of a prat, yells at people. Is a bit demanding. And by that you over demanding.

You thought you were hired for one role, but they had you doing something completely different until you complained because you ended up in a new depressive episode.

They finally agreed to change it after 3 months. They then  extended my probation period a further 3 months.

The owner's 22 year old son is my boss and told me last week that I hadn't been given any new projects because 'all the things going on with me.'

They hired a new person who is doing the role I said they needed and put myself forward to do. (He was hired after I suggested it as my boss and his dad were on vacation for a month prior...)
Oh, and this new person is the same age as my boss... And has NO marketing experience or a degree in anything related to marketing or advertising... yet he is managing their content... and calls himself a marketing manager on LinkedIn. *Facepalm*
« Last Edit: June 12, 2018, 11:00:06 PM by lyonaria »
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.

Offline historyenne

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2018, 11:16:47 PM »
If I had other prospects, I would probably go. The fact that they are being flaky about what your role actually is suggests it wouldn't be that hard for them to decide that you aren't actually doing anything and trying to force you out. This happened to me before. Also it sounds like they don't respect their employees and prefer cronyism and nepotism to merit. So yeah, not a great situation  >:( >:( >:(
On s'envolera du même quai
Les yeux dans les mêmes reflets,
Pour cette vie et celle d'après
Tu seras mon unique projet.

Je t'aimais, je t'aime, et je t'aimerai.

--Francis Cabrel

Offline BertineC

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2018, 07:26:45 AM »
Never work for a family business. EVER.

I would start looking because this situation isn't going to change and, as historienne says above, you want to go on your own terms not because you were pushed out. I know looking for a job is a pain, but the longer you stay underemployed the harder it will be to get back to what you really want to do and where your skill set lies.

Offline KFdancer

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2018, 08:53:31 AM »
I think there is a formula:

1.  You like who you work with
2.  You like who you work for
3. You are happy with your level of pay

Have two out of three, and you are likely to be "alright".  Do you have those?

Honestly, I think just that you are asking this means it's time to dust off the CV and see if the grass can be a bit greener (it can be!).  You've got to be valued at work and it sounds like they value your input and are leveraging off of it - without any genuine reward!

Offline jimbocz

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2018, 11:17:24 AM »

IMHO, I wouldn't worry about the boss and his son being jerks or liking Trump or saying jerky things about poor people, if everything else is good.  He's your boss, not your friend. 

If you aren't happy about the actual work and they have hired a new person to do work similar to yours while at the same time extending your probation, that's a bit worrisome.  I'd keep an eye on what's happening, but would not outright quit unless it's totally insufferable.  You haven't been there that long, it will take a long time to find a new job and that one might suck as well.  Try to stick with it.

I think it's obvious that your employers are not going to offer any help for personal problems, and even hold them against you, so I would avoid talking about them at all.

If you are thinking of getting pregnant, now sounds like a great time.   


Offline hms_seahorse

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2018, 01:13:00 PM »
For me it would depend on (a) what was my exit strategy (strategies, really, because during probation is different than at 1 or 2 years) when I orally accepted the job; (b) what is my plan for how I'm parlaying it into the Next Thing; (c) what am I gaining on the way to b; and (d) what are my red lines?

If c isn't feeding sufficiently into b, or if d is being well and truly violated, then it's time to enact a.

Offline TravelingFrog

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2018, 01:49:28 PM »
You thought you were hired for one role, but they had you doing something completely different until you complained because you ended up in a new depressive episode.

If I was at a job that was affecting my mental health, I'd look for a new job.

If it was really bad, I'd consider quitting before finding a new job, but there are a lot of factors that would go into that decision.
July 2012 - Fiancée Visa | Nov 2012 - Married
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Offline masonjohnsmum

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Would you stay?
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2018, 02:01:56 PM »
Was in a similar position 8 years ago when I was starting out in the US. Only company who hired me was a family-owned business. Generally speaking (not all) family businesses are not the best employers especially if the next generation grew up with silver spoons. Loved the people I worked with but hated the owners! I stuck it out until I found a job I liked and paid better. I believe in the saying it’s easier to find another job when you’re employed. Just stick to business and don’t take anything personally, they’re just as much a paycheck as you’re dispensible to them.


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« Last Edit: June 13, 2018, 02:03:11 PM by masonjohnsmum »
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Offline Nan D.

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2018, 04:14:30 PM »
I gotta ask.

Would you guys stay at a job where the owner has said some dodgy things (poor people can't manage their money, every employee will go lame on you, says Donald trump is a great business mentor)
Pays you well.
You like the people.
Office is great.
Owner is a bit of a prat, yells at people. Is a bit demanding. And by that you over demanding.

You thought you were hired for one role, but they had you doing something completely different until you complained because you ended up in a new depressive episode.

They finally agreed to change it after 3 months. They then  extended my probation period a further 3 months.

The owner's 22 year old son is my boss and told me last week that I hadn't been given any new projects because 'all the things going on with me.'

They hired a new person who is doing the role I said they needed and put myself forward to do. (He was hired after I suggested it as my boss and his dad were on vacation for a month prior...)
Oh, and this new person is the same age as my boss... And has NO marketing experience or a degree in anything related to marketing or advertising... yet he is managing their content... and calls himself a marketing manager on LinkedIn. *Facepalm*

Run like hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Find another option and jump ship.

Offline jimbocz

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2018, 06:41:03 PM »
The owner's 22 year old son is my boss and told me last week that I hadn't been given any new projects because 'all the things going on with me.'

If he said it once, he'll say it again.  Next time be ready with "Please don't think there's anything going on that will impact my work.  In fact I'd love to get a new project"

I'm sure you've rehearsed that comeback several times yourself.  I'm the king of "oh, uh, what did you say?" when someone says something ridiculous to me and then stewing about it later. 

Offline lyonaria

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #10 on: June 13, 2018, 07:55:33 PM »
If he said it once, he'll say it again.  Next time be ready with "Please don't think there's anything going on that will impact my work.  In fact I'd love to get a new project"

I'm sure you've rehearsed that comeback several times yourself.  I'm the king of "oh, uh, what did you say?" when someone says something ridiculous to me and then stewing about it later. 

The only thing affecting my work was the fact that I got no interaction with my co-workers. I was stuck making calls( of which I was constantly hung up on, even told to eff  off on several occasions and constantly leaving the same voicemail messages), emailing, recording video emails all day for other companies because they were trialling a new business idea. (Which I could have told them early on it wasn't going to work.)

If I wanted to be a cold calling call centre person I would have applied for an actual job doing it. 🙄

You couldn't have put me into a worse job situation if you tried...
Okay, fine. Working in literal sh*t would be worse.
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.

Online larrabee

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #11 on: June 13, 2018, 07:59:49 PM »
The only thing affecting my work was the fact that I got no interaction with my co-workers. I was stuck making calls( of which I was constantly hung up on, even told to eff  off on several occasions and constantly leaving the same voicemail messages), emailing, recording video emails all day for other companies because they were trialling a new business idea. (Which I could have told them early on it wasn't going to work.)

If I wanted to be a cold calling call centre person I would have applied for an actual job doing it. 🙄

You couldn't have put me into a worse job situation if you tried...
Okay, fine. Working in literal sh*t would be worse.

Nightmare! Are you back to something less awful now? ..I hope!
March 28th 2013-Moved to UK, husband on spouse visa.Oct 20th 2015-Applied by mail for FLR(M).Feb 1st 2016 FLR(M).March 7th 2018 ILR. YAY! March 21st NCS&JCAP appointment.

Offline lyonaria

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #12 on: June 13, 2018, 08:03:50 PM »
IMHO, I wouldn't worry about the boss and his son being jerks or liking Trump or saying jerky things about poor people, if everything else is good.  He's your boss, not your friend. 

If you aren't happy about the actual work and they have hired a new person to do work similar to yours while at the same time extending your probation, that's a bit worrisome.  I'd keep an eye on what's happening, but would not outright quit unless it's totally insufferable.  You haven't been there that long, it will take a long time to find a new job and that one might suck as well.  Try to stick with it.

I think it's obvious that your employers are not going to offer any help for personal problems, and even hold them against you, so I would avoid talking about them at all.

If you are thinking of getting pregnant, now sounds like a great time.

This is a business where he teaches people to be better business owners... claims that he's doing it to teach, educate and motivate... But he does NOTHING for his people who are on the cheapest tier. Not even try to upsell them. Its hypocritical.

So he is literally spreading his bullshit to more people. The "poor people are terrible with managing and knowing where they spend their money" is a line from a conference he gave to a large group of people and it's part of one of his lessons as it's just the recording of that conference section.

And I wouldn't outright quit. We need the money for ILR next year
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.

Offline lyonaria

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #13 on: June 13, 2018, 08:06:35 PM »
Nightmare! Are you back to something less awful now? ..I hope!

I'm doing actual marketing like my "marketing project manager' title says.

My boss has finally given me a bit of a project after I took on updating their website. (I told him their customer journey needed fixing and asked if I could do it. He said okay after I said what absolutely needed doing).
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.

Offline lyonaria

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Re: Would you stay?
« Reply #14 on: June 13, 2018, 08:18:57 PM »
Thanks for the input everyone. I am new to this job and I had such high hopes.

I really need to listen to my gut... If I had this whole mess would have been avoided, I wouldn't have had a new depressive episode and we wouldn't be out £1600+ pounds on travel costs for me. (Yes, that was about half of what I earn a month on travel before I passed my driving test).
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.