The Paul Newman one is grim.
Oh my gawd, I felt so bad... not long after I came over here, my husband brought a bottle of the Newman's Own one home for me, because he knew "Americans like ranch dressing." I didn't know how to tell him that only Hidden Valley counts. No other brands get it quite right. I'm not so fussed about having ranch dressing (or the seasoning), but if it'd been proper Hidden Valley, I would've eaten the whole bottle. But not the Newman's Own one. *wrinkled nose*