Sounds familiar

Crikey - UK Yankee forum member hits the headlines!

Well, I feel sorry for them - who wouldn't try and move heaven and earth and exhaust every possibility in order to make their 'official' wedding day?

They're a fine looking couple as well, very fairy tale romance.

Seems the comments below are purely driven by their financial standing of the family involved.

I guess the moral of the story for everyone else is never to make any sort of plans until the visa is in your hand.

I get where you are coming from, I really do.  But they really should just follow the correct process instead of going to the media.  I absolutely feel for them that their blessing isn't going to happen the way they wanted it too.  Everyone should be able to have the party they want.  And I make no secret that I HATE UKVI. 

I also have no doubts that this couple will give more to the UK than they take. 

That being said, it all boils down to ticking the boxes and getting the legal side of things taken care of to not jeopardize a future in the country you want to live in.  None of us like the legal constraints of UKVI.  But missing a blessing is nothing compared to the people who have kids separated from their parents due to UKVI requiring us to tick boxes.  I'm not saying kids should be an exception in having to follow the rules.  But it sure is harsh.

I posted those comments and I stick by what I said lol. Feel free to direct pitchforks at me. Only put that as the name because I genuinely couldn't be arsed to fill out all the sign-up crap and it was the quickest thing to type that I knew wouldn't violate characters.

I posted those comments and I stick by what I said lol. Feel free to direct pitchforks at me. Only put that as the name because I genuinely couldn't be arsed to fill out all the sign-up crap and it was the quickest thing to type that I knew wouldn't violate characters.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You didn't say anything offensive.

Can also confirm my comments had NOTHING to do with the financial standings.

I feel bad their party is potentially ruined but I'm sorry, this is self inflicted. There were MANY other ways to go about this but they chose to do it this way and now have consequences. HO is irritating at the best of times, but I don't think we can just blame them for this situation. It makes it harder for people who are getting rejected and need the help when they followed the process. Just my 2p which I can see not everybody agrees with, and that's okay.

But it's definitely not KF You can put the pitchforks towards her down! haha

I posted those comments and I stick by what I said lol. Feel free to direct pitchforks at me. Only put that as the name because I genuinely couldn't be arsed to fill out all the sign-up crap and it was the quickest thing to type that I knew wouldn't violate characters.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You didn't say anything offensive.

You only said what we are all thinking, I'm sure. 

Is this the woman who had the dress fitting issues, too?

You only said what we are all thinking, I'm sure. 

Is this the woman who had the dress fitting issues, too?

hah I dunno, I'm sure people disagree and that's okay - we can agree to disagree. There were just people making comments like "SHE DOESN'T NEED A VISA, SHE'S FROM THE US!" I'm like UHHHHHH.... and the fact they kept making it out like she was missing her wedding when she was actually just missing her party was irking me as it was written to tug your heart strings as much as possible but there wasn't much to work with because it was self-inflicted so they had to try to play that card. They said she was married but described her as a fiance. No, she's a WIFE. Loads of people in the comments missed that and were being mislead. It's not about the money in a jealousy factor, but it IS about the money in that it's a lot of money for them to let the parents spend without making sure they were doing things the right way. They could have EASILY taken multiple approaches to have this party and not had the money sort of go to waste.


Happy to try to change my name if it truly bothers anybody that much haha

You only said what we are all thinking, I'm sure. 

Is this the woman who had the dress fitting issues, too?

Hmmm... not sure.  I'll have a dig.  I thought that was someone else.

Happy to try to change my name if it truly bothers anybody that much haha

Nope.  I'd have liked your post if I could be bothered to register and log-in.

I feel bad for her in that she's not getting to hold her reception, the couple stand to lose money, and they will probably be separated while some of this gets sorted out.

But, as you've pointed out, they could have just followed the rules, waited until they got a visa in hand, and then had their party.  It bothers me that the husband and wife's friends and family will probably think this is Meany UKVI keeping them apart.  No no no.  It's the couple thinking rules don't apply to them keeping them apart.

The dress fitting was someone else.

Nope.  I'd have liked your post if I could be bothered to register and log-in.

I feel bad for her in that she's not getting to hold her reception, the couple stand to lose money, and they will probably be separated while some of this gets sorted out.

But, as you've pointed out, they could have just followed the rules, waited until they got a visa in hand, and then had their party.  It bothers me that the husband and wife's friends and family will probably think this is Meany UKVI keeping them apart.  No no no.  It's the couple thinking rules don't apply to them keeping them apart.

I was trying to hold back registering as I'm at work but I honestly couldn't fathom some of the comments like the ones about how she "doesn't need a visa as an American so why is she just fannying around in Calais instead of getting on a Eurostar?" and I caved and created an account lol.

Beyond waiting until they had the visa to plan this party, she could have even more EASILY waited to apply for the visa and had the party first!! She could have come over as a visitor (and even brought the dogs if that worked best), had the party, THEN came back and applied. The money part is just that it's a shame they've spend so much money to have this type of issue that could've been avoided SO easily.

it comes down to people thinking they are above the process and more important than others because it feels unfair that two people who love each other can't just be together. It feels unfair to everybody, I'm sure...but you aren't above the process and you can't just circumvent it and hope it goes your way. They tell you NOT to book any travel until you have your visa for a reason. They not only booked travel, they booked a massive shindig and are now upset that it might be ruined and that baffles me.

The dress fitting was someone else.

Thanks for looking it up.  I wonder how that one turned out.

It's not about the money in a jealousy factor, but it IS about the money in that it's a lot of money for them to let the parents spend without making sure they were doing things the right way. They could have EASILY taken multiple approaches to have this party and not had the money sort of go to waste.

Every time I show my husband one of these news stories, this is the part that baffles him the most.  If you know it costs thousands of dollars/pounds to apply, and there are minimum requirements to be eligible to get your visa, why do people think that UKVI are only joking about those requirements?  I know the website isn't the easiest to untangle and find out what evidence you need, but it DOES tell you the criteria you must satisfy.  They make that part of it pretty clear, at least.  If you know you don't qualify, why on earth would you start splashing money around on applications doomed to fail?  And who spends £20k on a party that you don't know for absolute certain you will be allowed to attend?

Thanks for looking it up.  I wonder how that one turned out.

Hopefully she didn't go in the end as this is a prime example of why you SHOULDN'T attempt it.


It's not necessarily splashing the money on the application (although yes, that's a lot to spend if you know you don't meet the financial requirements) and more about the party which isn't as necessary to spend just yet as the money on a VISA (and like 10x's the price almost, if not more). But yeah, the UKVI aren't joking with their requirements and warning. I agree they can be vague at the best of times on what evidence they need, but that is why there are websites like this.

my issue wasn't even with them applying without meeting the criteria (I'm sure some people make mistakes on their application, whatever). My issue was that they shouldn't have been travelling either way until they received the outcome of the application. They shouldn't have planned a party - whatever the value - without either waiting to obtain the visa and settlement or waiting for the results from their application.

This might be a bit blunt since I'm confused...

SO, did they just want the spouse visa for the wedding or they were genuinely moving from US to UK to settle?

This might be a bit blunt since it's news to me...

SO, did they just want the spouse visa for the wedding or they were genuinely moving from US to UK to settle?

A settlement visa as they wanted to move to the UK. They are already legally married.

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I get where you are coming from, I really do.  But they really should just follow the correct process instead of going to the media.  I absolutely feel for them that their blessing isn't going to happen the way they wanted it too.  Everyone should be able to have the party they want.  And I make no secret that I HATE UKVI. 

I also have no doubts that this couple will give more to the UK than they take. 

That being said, it all boils down to ticking the boxes and getting the legal side of things taken care of to not jeopardize a future in the country you want to live in.  None of us like the legal constraints of UKVI.  But missing a blessing is nothing compared to the people who have kids separated from their parents due to UKVI requiring us to tick boxes.  I'm not saying kids should be an exception in having to follow the rules.  But it sure is harsh.

No, it's fine - we're on the same page.

It's just idealism vs. reality.

Personally, a world where a couple who love each other have to scale such bureaucratic obstacles just to be together and enjoy their special day together, to me, is a sign of a world that's gone very wrong somewhere along the line.  I can't help but sympathise.

But, it is what it is and it's not going to change anytime soon.  As such, the only wise, pragmatic course of action is to understand and comply with the process and rules that have been put in place.

I read the poster's comments laying out their plans in the non-priority thread the other week, and, just like everybody else, I was thinking 'blimey, this is just bonkers!  You've both gone mad'.  I would never try anything like that, personally.  But that didn't stop me from rooting for them both.

I guess that's where I am on this.