Discouraged

Yeah, I've heard that too... but look at that face  !   

While cute,  can't help but picture my husband's miserable face after he's been exposed to cats.  He suffers enough already. 

Do you ever feel discouraged and feel that you haven't done enough?
I know I am only on 34 BD  but I am starting to feel anxious and a bit discourage. 
I have been trying to remain positive and we have done everything the solicitor has told us plus some but that feeling of what if is starting to creep in....I am so ready to get back to Wales and be with the man that I love and begin our lives together...I wish they would hurry up and say granted....

I am right behind you. Our application date (the day I got the email) is 20 June. I've been anxiety-ridden ever since. I've checked my email 5 times today and it's only noon. At this point, though, I know that they're closed so I usually just surrender to another "no e-mail" day by noon-ish.

My family keeps asking me when they can buy tickets for our wedding. (We were married on 14 June but our wedding is 13 October in England) and I'm like I DON'T KNOW YET!!! I keep lashing out at people...they keep bothering me! People keep asking me "did you get it yet did you get it??" OBVIOUSLY NOT. I know people are curious and they don't understand...but I don't need to be constantly reminded of what's happening. I keep panicking that my visa won't come in on time, or I'll have to rush or something and then I calm myself down and remind myself that I'm literally only on 31BD. I am right within the NORMAL wait time (for priority) so I need to just relax. All I have is the email saying my application was received and that's it. I just wait and wait and wait. You aren't alone. I'm dying here.

On another complaint note- I live in Louisiana and it's hot and gross, and all I want to do is be in England where the weather is overcast and beautiful and chilly and UGH! I want to leave nowww. I feel like a whiny toddler but I just can't stop focusing on the negative. Like, what if it's refused, what then?! We've been long distance for about three years now...we are SICK of waiting to be together.

Or, since we are technically married I've been asked "How's married life har har?" And like....do people not realize that we had 2 days of "married life" and then he literally flew back to England? How am I supposed to know how "married life" is when my husband is a million miles away?

My room is in shambles, half packed, half in boxes, half everywhere else. I am a MESS. So you are not alone in feeling discouraged. I think the timing (longer processing times) and my wedding date and everyone's constant questions is just driving me crazy.

Anyway sorry about my long rant. It felt good to type it all out. It helps to know that I'm not alone either. Good luck.

You will get an answer before me!

This is the email (and where I forwarded the news to my now-husband).  I agree that it was a better system.  Now when a decision is made, applicants have a drastically heightened level of anxiety for the last couple of days of their wait when they know their fate is sealed, but they don't know what it is, yet.

I couldn't even remember getting a decision in my email (applied in September 2012) and actually just had to go back and look! Apparently I was very excited, but I've wiped the whole process from my memory now.

To those who are waiting: please just remember to breathe!  You will get there, and maybe it doesn't feel like it now, but soon this will all be a distant memory and you will be well on your way to opening this next chapter in your lives.  You got this!!

On another complaint note- I live in Louisiana and it's hot and gross, and all I want to do is be in England where the weather is overcast and beautiful and chilly and UGH!

You *might* actually rather be in Louisiana right now... air conditioning!! Soak it all up! (Then please soak up some more for me. )

Sent from my SM-G955F using Tapatalk

I am right behind you. Our application date (the day I got the email) is 20 June. I've been anxiety-ridden ever since. I've checked my email 5 times today and it's only noon. At this point, though, I know that they're closed so I usually just surrender to another "no e-mail" day by noon-ish.

My family keeps asking me when they can buy tickets for our wedding. (We were married on 14 June but our wedding is 13 October in England) and I'm like I DON'T KNOW YET!!! I keep lashing out at people...they keep bothering me! People keep asking me "did you get it yet did you get it??" OBVIOUSLY NOT. I know people are curious and they don't understand...but I don't need to be constantly reminded of what's happening. I keep panicking that my visa won't come in on time, or I'll have to rush or something and then I calm myself down and remind myself that I'm literally only on 31BD. I am right within the NORMAL wait time (for priority) so I need to just relax. All I have is the email saying my application was received and that's it. I just wait and wait and wait. You aren't alone. I'm dying here.

On another complaint note- I live in Louisiana and it's hot and gross, and all I want to do is be in England where the weather is overcast and beautiful and chilly and UGH! I want to leave nowww. I feel like a whiny toddler but I just can't stop focusing on the negative. Like, what if it's refused, what then?! We've been long distance for about three years now...we are SICK of waiting to be together.

Or, since we are technically married I've been asked "How's married life har har?" And like....do people not realize that we had 2 days of "married life" and then he literally flew back to England? How am I supposed to know how "married life" is when my husband is a million miles away?

My room is in shambles, half packed, half in boxes, half everywhere else. I am a MESS. So you are not alone in feeling discouraged. I think the timing (longer processing times) and my wedding date and everyone's constant questions is just driving me crazy.

Anyway sorry about my long rant. It felt good to type it all out. It helps to know that I'm not alone either. Good luck.

You will get an answer before me!

I feel like I wrote this! I live in NYC where it's hot and gross (maybe not as bad as Louisiana, but with no central AC it's miserable), my husband left the day after we married, everyone keeps asking when I'm moving and all just makes me so anxious! I go between not packing and packing because I think of how depressing it would be to unpack if I'm denied.

It's good to know I'm not alone but good lord, this waiting period is such a mental struggle! I don't think anyone who hasn't gone through it even realizes the half of it.

I am right behind you. Our application date (the day I got the email) is 20 June. I've been anxiety-ridden ever since. I've checked my email 5 times today and it's only noon. At this point, though, I know that they're closed so I usually just surrender to another "no e-mail" day by noon-ish.

My family keeps asking me when they can buy tickets for our wedding. (We were married on 14 June but our wedding is 13 October in England) and I'm like I DON'T KNOW YET!!! I keep lashing out at people...they keep bothering me! People keep asking me "did you get it yet did you get it??" OBVIOUSLY NOT. I know people are curious and they don't understand...but I don't need to be constantly reminded of what's happening. I keep panicking that my visa won't come in on time, or I'll have to rush or something and then I calm myself down and remind myself that I'm literally only on 31BD. I am right within the NORMAL wait time (for priority) so I need to just relax. All I have is the email saying my application was received and that's it. I just wait and wait and wait. You aren't alone. I'm dying here.

On another complaint note- I live in Louisiana and it's hot and gross, and all I want to do is be in England where the weather is overcast and beautiful and chilly and UGH! I want to leave nowww. I feel like a whiny toddler but I just can't stop focusing on the negative. Like, what if it's refused, what then?! We've been long distance for about three years now...we are SICK of waiting to be together.

Or, since we are technically married I've been asked "How's married life har har?" And like....do people not realize that we had 2 days of "married life" and then he literally flew back to England? How am I supposed to know how "married life" is when my husband is a million miles away?

My room is in shambles, half packed, half in boxes, half everywhere else. I am a MESS. So you are not alone in feeling discouraged. I think the timing (longer processing times) and my wedding date and everyone's constant questions is just driving me crazy.

Anyway sorry about my long rant. It felt good to type it all out. It helps to know that I'm not alone either. Good luck.

You will get an answer before me!

Rant away...I feel your pain. You pretty much said everything I wanted to say...We have everything planned for mid November for our wedding and people want to book their flights, I want to get home to my hubby to be and I want to finish planning this wedding and I just want to be happy. I am living out of a suitcase and its driving me absolutely nutty because thats the reminder as well. I want to unpack and live my life with my wonderful fiance. 
I hate not having control over my own life. I hate that someone else is making the decision whether I am allowed to love and be loved and be happy.
Hoping for YES's for everyone here and myself.

I couldn't even remember getting a decision in my email (applied in September 2012) and actually just had to go back and look! Apparently I was very excited, but I've wiped the whole process from my memory now.

To those who are waiting: please just remember to breathe!  You will get there, and maybe it doesn't feel like it now, but soon this will all be a distant memory and you will be well on your way to opening this next chapter in your lives.  You got this!!

You *might* actually rather be in Louisiana right now... air conditioning!! Soak it all up! (Then please soak up some more for me. )

Sent from my SM-G955F using Tapatalk

The air conditioning is wonderful...but stepping outside feels like a nasty bowl of soup! (Or Gumbo if you're interesting in bad jokes )

I think the two main things I find "odd" about the UK that will take some getting used to is no A.C., and hanging clothes outside on lines. No dryers?! No garbage disposals!?

I feel like I wrote this! I live in NYC where it's hot and gross (maybe not as bad as Louisiana, but with no central AC it's miserable), my husband left the day after we married, everyone keeps asking when I'm moving and all just makes me so anxious! I go between not packing and packing because I think of how depressing it would be to unpack if I'm denied.

It's good to know I'm not alone but good lord, this waiting period is such a mental struggle! I don't think anyone who hasn't gone through it even realizes the half of it.

I know! I wasn't sure if I should pack at all....but then I keep thinking since we have a certain amount of time to leave the U.S. after we get our documents, I figured I should just assume the best and get to packing. My walls are bare, my suitcase is huge and obnoxious. I packed my winter clothes (It's roughly 100F here every day with 1000% humidity so I won't be needing pants or sweaters anytime soon. I also discovered that I'll definitely need a second check-in bag, even though I've gotten rid of so many clothes/things. I try so hard not to get angry with people when they ask but ughhh I can't help it.

I'm also finding it difficult to talk to people about my -feelings- For example, I've got three really good best friends here. Anytime I say "I'm sad about leaving my friends" the automatic reply is "OH BUT YOU WILL MAKE NEW ONES!" Um...I don't WANT new ones!! I'm happy with my old ones! Just because I will make new friends in the UK doesn't mean I'm not sad about leaving my old ones (and by old, I mean I've had these lovely ladies in my life for 15+ years! When you're 26 years old, 15 years is forever.) I *think* people automatically say that to be positive, but damn let me be sad about it.

I hate that we're all so anxious. Everyday my husband is like "Well, I guess you didn't get an e-mail today huh?" UNFORTUNATELY NOT

D:

"I don't think anyone who hasn't gone through it even realizes the half of it." You took the words out of my mouth.

Rant away...I feel your pain. You pretty much said everything I wanted to say...We have everything planned for mid November for our wedding and people want to book their flights, I want to get home to my hubby to be and I want to finish planning this wedding and I just want to be happy. I am living out of a suitcase and its driving me absolutely nutty because thats the reminder as well. I want to unpack and live my life with my wonderful fiance. 
I hate not having control over my own life. I hate that someone else is making the decision whether I am allowed to love and be loved and be happy.
Hoping for YES's for everyone here and myself.

Ranting helps....especially with people who are feeling my pain!! We've got a lot planned for our wedding but there is a lot of stuff I need to be there for so I'm just like COME ON VISA! I'm so lonely lately, and my husband feels so lost because all I really need is a hug (from him) and he can't do it!! blagh! I'm not quite in the "living out of my suitcase" stage yet, as I've only packed my winter clothes up, but I'm beginning to feel that. I gathered at least 20 boxes of stuff to sell in a garage sale so my room is a complete mess. (I live with my aunt, so thankfully I only have a room to pack up and not a house/apartment)

"I hate not having control over my own life. I hate that someone else is making the decision whether I am allowed to love and be loved and be happy." GIRL I feel you. Omg I feel that so much!!!

Ranting helps....especially with people who are feeling my pain!! We've got a lot planned for our wedding but there is a lot of stuff I need to be there for so I'm just like COME ON VISA! I'm so lonely lately, and my husband feels so lost because all I really need is a hug (from him) and he can't do it!! blagh! I'm not quite in the "living out of my suitcase" stage yet, as I've only packed my winter clothes up, but I'm beginning to feel that. I gathered at least 20 boxes of stuff to sell in a garage sale so my room is a complete mess. (I live with my aunt, so thankfully I only have a room to pack up and not a house/apartment)

"I hate not having control over my own life. I hate that someone else is making the decision whether I am allowed to love and be loved and be happy." GIRL I feel you. Omg I feel that so much!!!

Yeah, All I want is a huge loving hug (in Wales- Cwtch) from my fiance.  We are going on 2 months separated and it sucks. I am in the same living arrangements as you...I am currently staying with my Aunt and Uncle. Atleast I have family, but I have no friends here and if I did more than likely it would be difficult to express what I am going through and them to understand.
I am so ready for this to be over and I can book that flight and be on my merry way home. I am extremely grateful for my aunt and uncle but I'm ready to go home and be with the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with and be HAPPY....I  put on a brave face every day and I do try to remain positive. We have done everything we were told to do and could do so we are still positive we will have a Yes.

Yeah, All I want is a huge loving hug (in Wales- Cwtch) from my fiance.  We are going on 2 months separated and it sucks. I am in the same living arrangements as you...I am currently staying with my Aunt and Uncle. Atleast I have family, but I have no friends here and if I did more than likely it would be difficult to express what I am going through and them to understand.
I am so ready for this to be over and I can book that flight and be on my merry way home. I am extremely grateful for my aunt and uncle but I'm ready to go home and be with the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with and be HAPPY....I am put on a brave face every day and I do try to remain positive. We have done everything we were told to do and could do so we are still positive we will have a Yes.

My living situation is a loooong story, but long story short I moved in with my aunt to save money. Visas are expensive (as you know!) and I'll be unemployed for lord knows how long so I wanted to have a hefty savings.  I've been so lonely and restless and anxious. I can't wait to be with my husband and just take that first night to snuggle and be happy

My living situation is a loooong story, but long story short I moved in with my aunt to save money. Visas are expensive (as you know!) and I'll be unemployed for lord knows how long so I wanted to have a hefty savings.  I've been so lonely and restless and anxious. I can't wait to be with my husband and just take that first night to snuggle and be happy

I'm right there with you.

I'm there with you girls!! I'm at the start of this long and frustrated process. Just getting ready to submit everything hopefully by the end of this week! I can't wait to see my husband and get out of my parents basement haha. Hopefully I'll be in the waiting game with you soon and counting down the days! xx

I'm there with you girls!! I'm at the start of this long and frustrated process. Just getting ready to submit everything hopefully by the end of this week! I can't wait to see my husband and get out of my parents basement haha. Hopefully I'll be in the waiting game with you soon and counting down the days! xx

Good Luck!! And we are all here for ya, if you want to rant or just to chat.

Thank you It's so nice to know that there are other people going through this too! My friends and family are trying to understand it but I don't think you ever will until you go through it. I'm sure I'll have a rant/chat soon

Thank you It's so nice to know that there are other people going through this too! My friends and family are trying to understand it but I don't think you ever will until you go through it. I'm sure I'll have a rant/chat soon

If people haven't gone through it, it is hard for them to understand. I love my family and they are very supportive but it is really hard to explain what I am going through. What my feelings feel like, what is going on in my head, the worries, separation....Everyone here has been very helpful and informative and they empathize.  This has been a great group and I am so happy I found them.