Moving to the UK advice

but when I've just woken up, all gross and smelly before a shower trying to brush my teeth I'm going to be like "ew get away!"

Ohh man....I can barely remember those days anymore hahaha

but when I've just woken up, all gross and smelly before a shower trying to brush my teeth I'm going to be like "ew get away!" I don't want something like that to turn into him feeling like I don't want him around! I just need a few days to wake up 

Aww, that's sweet. Don't worry, you'll turn into an old married couple soon enough!     

I think the biggest thing for me is going to have someone else -there- all the time in my space. Sort of like what you said your husband did. I love it when he's there, giving me little kisses and such but when I've just woken up, all gross and smelly before a shower trying to brush my teeth I'm going to be like "ew get away!" I don't want something like that to turn into him feeling like I don't want him around! I just need a few days to wake up 

We started in a 1 bedroom tiny apartment, all his things, I lived out of my suitcase and got 1/3 of the wardrobe and 2 drawers in the dresser. He had a desk, I didn't. There was no space! My kitty had to live with his parents until we moved. My requirement because I'm the particular one with a somewhat weak immune system was that I have a second bedroom to escape to. It didn't work out perfectly, our rented house has 3 bedrooms but 2 of them *just* fit the bed or a desk, and nothing else. So i still don't have "me" space and my husband does. (the little bedroom is also the laundry drying room, he gets the office). We've steadily had ikea trips to get furniture and find places for the things I shipped. It just takes time. I'm hoping I'll have a little more of an escape at our next house.

I have food allergies and let me tell you... I miss America so much in that regard. I've had to find all new options and get used to cooking on completely different (terrible) equipment. We didn't have an oven for 4 months either!

Its impossible to plan for a lot of the hiccups, but you can be sure someone here has probably gone through it so the biggest thing is not being afraid to ask for help!

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Tolkien, you sound like you have a realistic set of expectations and a good head on your shoulders.  I suspect you will embrace your new life and make margaritas out of limes.

Where in England are you moving to?

We started in a 1 bedroom tiny apartment, all his things, I lived out of my suitcase and got 1/3 of the wardrobe and 2 drawers in the dresser. He had a desk, I didn't. There was no space! My kitty had to live with his parents until we moved. My requirement because I'm the particular one with a somewhat weak immune system was that I have a second bedroom to escape to. It didn't work out perfectly, our rented house has 3 bedrooms but 2 of them *just* fit the bed or a desk, and nothing else. So i still don't have "me" space and my husband does. (the little bedroom is also the laundry drying room, he gets the office). We've steadily had ikea trips to get furniture and find places for the things I shipped. It just takes time. I'm hoping I'll have a little more of an escape at our next house.

I have food allergies and let me tell you... I miss America so much in that regard. I've had to find all new options and get used to cooking on completely different (terrible) equipment. We didn't have an oven for 4 months either!

Its impossible to plan for a lot of the hiccups, but you can be sure someone here has probably gone through it so the biggest thing is not being afraid to ask for help!

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We've been trying to "arrange" the flat but I'm not there!! And he will put the couch in the middle of the living room and I'm like "uhhhhh I don't think I'm going to like that"

But it isn't just about ME anymore! So there's a lot of *those* types of compromises that neither of us are used to! He's bought a kitchen table (I am NOT a fan of eating in bed/at my desk near my computer) I like eating at a table. Also, he bought a little wardrobe type thing. He's okay with grabbing his clothes out of the clean laundry basket, but I am NOT. I can't stand digging through a basket for my clothes. I have a massive closet here, but I won't have a closet at all there   So, he bought a little mini-closet for me as well. He's so sweet <3

Tolkien, you sound like you have a realistic set of expectations and a good head on your shoulders.  I suspect you will embrace your new life and make margaritas out of limes.

Where in England are you moving to?

Just checking that this was meant for me...As the name says "Tolkien"!

If it's for me, I thank you! Life isn't always perfect and this is such a big change I can't go into it expecting everything to be fine and dandy. Honestly, the visa process was my first major lesson in how hard this is. I kind of imagined that I apply, pay, send it off, get approved. Obviously it's waaaayyy more complicated than that. Packing up my stuff, saying goodbyes and all of that has filled me with this mixture of excitement/fulfillment/longing but I'm equally filled with sadness/anxiety/impatience.

I do like margaritas

I'll be moving to Swindon! There aren't -too- many jobs in my field there, though so we will likely have to move closer to London. My husband's work has a sister company in Reading, so we've looked into that, as it's between Swindon and London. Jobs for historians are mostly in London. I've been doing research for the last 2 years. (I even have a spreadsheet)

He sounds like a keeper TeamTollie.  You will settle in okay , I think! You can always come on UKY and chat with us as you go.  We're supportive!!

Just checking that this was meant for me...As the name says "Tolkien"!

If it's for me, I thank you! Life isn't always perfect and this is such a big change I can't go into it expecting everything to be fine and dandy. Honestly, the visa process was my first major lesson in how hard this is. I kind of imagined that I apply, pay, send it off, get approved. Obviously it's waaaayyy more complicated than that. Packing up my stuff, saying goodbyes and all of that has filled me with this mixture of excitement/fulfillment/longing but I'm equally filled with sadness/anxiety/impatience.

I do like margaritas

I'll be moving to Swindon! There aren't -too- many jobs in my field there, though so we will likely have to move closer to London. My husband's work has a sister company in Reading, so we've looked into that, as it's between Swindon and London. Jobs for historians are mostly in London. I've been doing research for the last 2 years. (I even have a spreadsheet)

Yes, autocorrect at work there.

I’m in the Reading area.  As are KissofDeath and Margo. 

Yes, autocorrect at work there.

I’m in the Reading area.  As are KissofDeath and Margo. 

Yeah we are all close enough to Reading (try checking out Bracknell as well as it's relatively easy to commute into London from there as well and a hotbed for jobs while still also being a bit more quiet than Reading traffic-wise).

Fair few of us over here in this area. Driven to Swindon a few times and it's not massively far (about an hour) but just long enough that it might be a struggle to pop by and see you on a regular basis.

He sounds like a keeper TeamTollie.  You will settle in okay , I think! You can always come on UKY and chat with us as you go.  We're supportive!!

He is!! Hence why I'm moving across the ocean to be with him <3

Yeah we are all close enough to Reading (try checking out Bracknell as well as it's relatively easy to commute into London from there as well and a hotbed for jobs while still also being a bit more quiet than Reading traffic-wise).

Fair few of us over here in this area. Driven to Swindon a few times and it's not massively far (about an hour) but just long enough that it might be a struggle to pop by and see you on a regular basis.

That would be wonderful! We are still unsure, as I haven't really looked into employment there yet, but Reading has been on our "possible" moving areas for a while. I'll likely find a job in the Greater London area. That being said, I don't *know* that. I would hate for him to have to leave his job on my behalf, though he's said he would.

Yeah we are all close enough to Reading (try checking out Bracknell as well as it's relatively easy to commute into London from there as well and a hotbed for jobs while still also being a bit more quiet than Reading traffic-wise).

I would rather die than make that slow painful commute from Bracknell but we are all different.  Yes, it's easy.  But that train stops every 14 seconds and it's smooshed to the gills.  But all trains into London are packed.  Which is why I WILL NEVER WORK IN LONDON. 

I would rather die than make that slow painful commute from Bracknell but we are all different.  Yes, it's easy.  But that train stops every 14 seconds and it's smooshed to the gills.  But all trains into London are packed.  Which is why I WILL NEVER WORK IN LONDON. 

I know it's probably the "oh look this is new!" feeling, but I absolutely LOVE the trains! I live in Louisiana (born and raised) and having any sort of subway/overground is impossible due to flooding. Except, we do have 1 AmTrak rail! I never use it though, as I have a car. I love the subway, and the trains, and ugh England is amazing!

That being said, Tom has grumbled and complained about it a LOT so I'm kind of dreading the day that I don't love it anymore.

I know it's probably the "oh look this is new!" feeling, but I absolutely LOVE the trains! I live in Louisiana (born and raised) and having any sort of subway/overground is impossible due to flooding. Except, we do have 1 AmTrak rail! I never use it though, as I have a car. I love the subway, and the trains, and ugh England is amazing!

That being said, Tom has grumbled and complained about it a LOT so I'm kind of dreading the day that I don't love it anymore.

When you pay more than £50 for a ticket and have to stand the whole way crammed in with people who forgot to deodorise....  it gets old quick. 

Not to mention when you are pregnant and everyone just pretends to not notice because they are NOT giving up their seat.  Lol!

I agree with KF that the first six months are easiest, and about 2 years to fully feel integrated.  And I also agree that it is perfectly normal to break down and cry at some point.  For me it happened at home in the kitchen, which was much better than the middle of a grocery store (*sympathetic glance in KF's direction*)... and it happened at about the six month point.  That fun honeymoon excitement was wearing off, and I had a bad night in the kitchen (which is a room where there's a surprising amount of cultural difference, but you probably won't have this issue given your husband's status as chef!)... anyway, it all just struck me that I had to adapt, because this was my life now, and there was no going back.  So I had my little moment of mourning for what I gave up, and that was that.  Never looked back again.

I broke down and cried in Tesco when I couldn't figure out where the corn syrup or vegetable shortening was and my husband couldn't understand what I wanted. I'd been here less than a month...
It didn't happen again but it was rough.