Houston, we have a problem...

-sigh-

Okay guys I'm so upset that I have to make this post but I need ya'lls help/advice/whatever.

I am flying to the UK on 4 Sept to join my husband in Swindon. He's got a full time job there, absolutely loves it and is doing well at it. He has expressed that he's willing to quit if he has to for my future job(if it requires us to move), but I am hoping he doesn't have to. I have a Master's degree in Public History, (museums, archives, historic sites, etc.) I've had a wonderful job for about 4 years, and today is my last day. I have a lot of experience, hoping it doesn't take me forever to find a job in the UK (as the demand for historians is higher there than in the US) however I am prepared to wait a few months. That's real life. I don't expect to find a good paying museum job right away. That being said, most of my job opportunities are in the Greater London area, which is just too far from Swindon to commute.

I plan to pick up my BRP the day I arrive in England, or the day after. Does that card have my National Insurance Number on it? I've seen that it's either on the card, or I'll have to apply for it. I have no idea which it is.

Right, now here is the problem:

We've got a small mini-honeymoon planned in France for about 4 days, as well as a few appointments for our wedding in Kent )The wedding is in Rochester. (Getting it all done at once) I'll have a week in Swindon (while Tom goes to work) However, the weekend after that (15-18 Sept) We are going back to Kent to visit with his family. I won't really be -settling in- until 19 September. We've had a plan for months...and now that plan is kind of being crushed by unforeseen circumstances. The plan always was for me to move there, settle in, get acclimated, rest a bit, then start applying for jobs after our wedding on 13 October. I've spent the last 2 years working 3 jobs to save money in order to cushion myself so that 1. Tom isn't overwhelmed with expenses, and 2. I don't depend on him financially while I'm unemployed. Tom moved into his flat in May, and his lease is up at the end of October. This entire time we've been under the impression that once the 6mo lease ends, we would switch to month-by-month which was absolutely perfect. Then, once I got a job in my career field, it wouldn't be such a hassle to move. There really aren't any jobs for me in Swindon that play into my career field. I've been mapping out jobs for a couple years, and most of them take me to London/Greater London as I mentioned above. That's just where the museums and archives are. Museums in the country side/historic sites are either run by volunteers or I can't drive to them yet until I learn how to drive in the UK.

The issue is, we were wrong about the month-by-month. The landlord is super-pressuring us to make a decision by 7 Sept to either move or sign onto another 6 months.

I am not really comfortable moving immediately after I move to the UK. I wanted to gather my bearings first...but if we sign onto 6 months I don't know how or when I'll be able to get a job in my field, because Swindon literally doesn't have anything for historians there. Tom is also stressing out at the idea of being tied into that flat for another 8 months and the very real possibility that I might be unemployed. He is stressed about money, as am I.

If we decided to move out of this flat and into another that gives us more flexibility  (By November) how difficult is it to do that as an expat? What would I have to do in regard to changing my address? I was going to put my name on the utility bills and such but if we move that'll all change and to me it just complicates matters SO much.

We don't know what to do. If I understand correctly, I can't really apply for jobs online without a NI#, so I'll have to wait until I get that to start doing that. But even if I begin applying for jobs immediately, we'll have to have made a decision by then.

What advice do you guys have for us? If we sign onto another 6 mo at the current flat I'm willing to try and get a job at the local library, coffee shop, or somewhere to get us SOME sort of income until that next 6 months ends and I can begin applying for jobs in my career field...or do ya'll suggest I begin applying for those big girl jobs NOW? I literally don't know what to do, where to begin, how to even apply for jobs in the UK, etc. The plan was for me to have a couple months to relax and figure this out, and now we're being pressured into a decision.

Should we just sign onto another 6 months and figure it out?

Your BRP will not have your NI number on it.  It says some do because if you're coming over on a job-based visa, the NI is assigned already.  But you're on a family visa, so you won't have one and will need to get post in your name for proof of address, and then apply for your NI number.

And you know the rest of my thoughts/understanding related to your post, so I'll leave it to the working-type people to help out with the rest.

Would moving in with family when the lease expires be an option? That would take the financial pressure off.

If not, I'd be inclined to stay put for another 6 months. You are going to need some time to figure your next moves and it usually takes people several months to find a job in their field anyway.

And if you move in September, how do you even know where you want to be? London's a big place. 

Would moving in with family when the lease expires be an option? That would take the financial pressure off.

If not, I'd be inclined to stay put for another 6 months. You are going to need some time to figure your next moves and it usually takes people several months to find a job in their field anyway.

And if you move in September, how do you even know where you want to be? London's a big place. 

Unfortunately not, as his family all live in either Kent or Wales. Then he'd be without a job too..

In regard to your last statement, exactly. There is a train from Swindon-London that takes 58 minutes, but that's just the train. I would have to do the tube and stuff also. jfkimberly has reminded me that if I found a job while still in Swindon and have a ridiculous commute, it would be temporary until the lease would end and we could really think about moving closer. Tom is ok with commuting a little as am I. We wanted to move in the middle of where he works, and my future job. But what sucks is that I don't have anything lined up...I only have places to apply to. Also, moving right away would cause issues with my National Insurance # wouldn't it? If I need mail in my name before I can apply for it.....I want to start applying asap...so we would need to sign onto 6 months.

uguhuhgu why is this so complicated, I can't even be happy because I've got all this crap to worry about #whine

Hey TeamTollie,

Sorry I don't remember this, but are you guys already legally married? It sounds like you are from what you've written and I can't remember and if you said on the visa board I don't read that one...

If you are I have different advice for you than if you aren't.

For one, if you aren't married you dont have a BRP to pick up, and since you say you do... I would assume you are already married. But I hate to not know...

Unfortunately not, as his family all live in either Kent or Wales. Then he'd be without a job too..

In regard to your last statement, exactly. There is a train from Swindon-London that takes 58 minutes, but that's just the train. I would have to do the tube and stuff also. jfkimberly has reminded me that if I found a job while still in Swindon and have a ridiculous commute, it would be temporary until the lease would end and we could really think about moving closer. Tom is ok with commuting a little as am I. We wanted to move in the middle of where he works, and my future job. But what sucks is that I don't have anything lined up...I only have places to apply to. Also, moving right away would cause issues with my National Insurance # wouldn't it? If I need mail in my name before I can apply for it.....I want to start applying asap...so we would need to sign onto 6 months.

uguhuhgu why is this so complicated, I can't even be happy because I've got all this crap to worry about #whine

I would sign another 6 month lease. 6 months goes by very quickly. It's going to take time to find a job anyway.  Use that 6 months to learn how to drive, get your bearings, work on your CV (You need to tailor it to the UK market).

Get some UK references by doing some local volunteer work at a charity shop, get a part time job, etc.



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I've worked in/ applied for jobs in very different fields to you, but I'm sure you're aware it takes a LONG time to start a job in the UK. Working in a museum, oyu might need security checks. The interview process can take weeks. So a 6 months' lease with maybe 2-3 months of commuting to Swindon doesn't sound insane to me. Many many people commute very long distances around London in the UK because zones 1-8000000000000 are so darn expensive to live in (and commute to, but that's besides the point).

Museum jobs are super competitive here too, so again, it might take more than a few weeks/ months to find a job in the first place. Prepare for the now. The future gets sorted in the future.

Hey TeamTollie,

Sorry I don't remember this, but are you guys already legally married? It sounds like you are from what you've written and I can't remember and if you said on the visa board I don't read that one...

If you are I have different advice for you than if you aren't.

For one, if you aren't married you dont have a BRP to pick up, and since you say you do... I would assume you are already married. But I hate to not know...

Yes, sorry I know i'ts confusing...!

We got legally married in the states in June. Applied for spousal visa, got it approved. Our wedding is in October, but it's a formality. nothing legal.

I would sign another 6 month lease. 6 months goes by very quickly. It's going to take time to find a job anyway.  Use that 6 months to learn how to drive, get your bearings, work on your CV (You need to tailor it to the UK market).

Get some UK references by doing some local volunteer work at a charity shop, get a part time job, etc.



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Yes, that's what I was thinking. Tom and I are both a little more clear-headed, the "omg what do we do" phase is passing and we're talking more rationally now, and he's on board with signing to the lease for another 6 mo and figuring it out.

Phew. This is all so much D: I've got it all figured out here and I'm tossing it all up in the air!

I've worked in/ applied for jobs in very different fields to you, but I'm sure you're aware it takes a LONG time to start a job in the UK. Working in a museum, oyu might need security checks. The interview process can take weeks. So a 6 months' lease with maybe 2-3 months of commuting to Swindon doesn't sound insane to me. Many many people commute very long distances around London in the UK because zones 1-8000000000000 are so darn expensive to live in (and commute to, but that's besides the point).

Museum jobs are super competitive here too, so again, it might take more than a few weeks/ months to find a job in the first place. Prepare for the now. The future gets sorted in the future.

Yes, they are the same here as well. My wonderful job was a mixture of luck, hard work, and being in the right place at the right time. I just want my experience and references in the US to matter in the UK too. I didn't work this hard for it all to be forgotten in the UK. That isn't fair. (I know life isn't always fair, but I worked hard, dang it!)

I figured it would be a while to find a job...I think we're just worrying about money. Money money money all the damn time.

I'll just buy some lottery tickets 

Yes, sorry I know i'ts confusing...!

We got legally married in the states in June. Applied for spousal visa, got it approved. Our wedding is in October, but it's a formality. nothing legal.

I figured that was it, but I didn't want to assume. 😊

Yeah. If I were you I would sign that 6 month lease again because finding a job tends to take ages, as everyone else has said. It took me over 6 weeks to get a job earning minimum wage doing a receptionist job because I didn't have any UK work experience. They are really picky about that. 🤪

I am now a Social Media and Content manager at a marketing agency and my degree is in PR.

You might get lucky. But it would be easier for you to do a bit of a crap commute for awhile than to have the stress of moving immediately.

Yeah, I’ll be honest, finding a job in the U.K. can take time, especially if you don’t have any U.K. job experience yet.

I would give yourself at least 6 months to secure something in your field, maybe even up to a year.

You may find you need to do some unpaid volunteering or get a temporary, lower paid job to start with, simply to build up some U.K. work experience on your CV, before you are actually able to secure a job in your chosen career.

At 25, I was job-hunting in the middle of the recession (which was the worst time to be starting a career), and even being a U.K. citizen with 2 masters degrees in a shortage field, it took me 2 years to actually secure a career job... I ended up working in retail for those 2 years while I applied for jobs in my field.


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I'll just buy some lottery tickets 

A person with one lottery ticket has infinitely greater odds of winning the lottery than a person with no lottery tickets.  A person with two lottery tickets has an infinitesimally-small-but-greater chance of winning the lottery than a person with one lottery ticket.  Efficiency says just buy one ticket per draw. 

Yeah, I’ll be honest, finding a job in the U.K. can take time, especially if you don’t have any U.K. job experience yet.

I would give yourself at least 6 months to secure something in your field, maybe even up to a year.

You may find you need to do some unpaid volunteering or get a temporary, lower paid job to start with, simply to build up some U.K. work experience on your CV, before you are actually able to secure a job in your chosen career.

At 25, I was job-hunting in the middle of the recession (which was the worst time to be starting a career), and even being a U.K. citizen with 2 masters degrees in a shortage field, it took me 2 years to actually secure a career job... I ended up working in retail for those 2 years while I applied for jobs in my field.


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Yeah, I figured as much. It's really hard for historians to get a job here too, I didn't think it would be so different in the UK. I am more than happy to work retail, coffee shop, library, volunteer, whatever to get some sort of "UK experience" even though my professional experience is in the US. I mean, I'm an immigrant, they've got to understand that, right? How would I have UK work experience if I've lived in the US my entire life?? 

I also have my student loans to worry about. I don't want to be struggling month by month and paying them off for 20 years. I'm probably thinking too far ahead...Focus on the now, get my big girl job in a little while. I just gotta be patient.

A person with one lottery ticket has infinitely greater odds of winning the lottery than a person with no lottery tickets.  A person with two lottery tickets has an infinitesimally-small-but-greater chance of winning the lottery than a person with one lottery ticket.  Efficiency says just buy one ticket per draw. 

Too bad I can't post memes on this forum. I have the perfect one...

Perhaps two lottery tickets