Is the US home? Or the UK?

I have a question for all of you that have been in the UK for some time.

I know everyone's situation is different. Some people left behind lots of friends and family/a good life and others were happy to get away.

When you refer to the US, do you still call it "home?" Or is the UK "home" now? I'm merely curious....I know it's easy to think of them both of "home" but in different ways? I've noticed a few people on the forum refer to the US as "back home" so it got me curious!!

I have a question for all of you that have been in the UK for some time.

I know everyone's situation is different. Some people left behind lots of friends and family/a good life and others were happy to get away.

When you refer to the US, do you still call it "home?" Or is the UK "home" now? I'm merely curious....I know it's easy to think of them both of "home" but in different ways? I've noticed a few people on the forum refer to the US as "back home" so it got me curious!!

Both, but I think of them in slightly different ways.

Texas will always be "back home" to me.  It's in my blood.  My heart is there.

My house in the UK is also my home, and it has taken me so long to get to a place where I can actually, genuinely say I enjoy being there.  But I don't necessarily feel like it's where I'm meant to be, if that makes sense.

*sigh*

I just realized how terrible that sounds.  I love my husband, I love my home, I love my job here in the UK.  However, ultimately, I know that Texas will eventually call us back.

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UK is home. US I refer to as 'back in the states'. I have my mom, dad and step mom, sister and close group of like 4 friends, extended family I hardly talk there. I think of home as where my husband is. I didn't feel at home in the states after we met. I felt so much more at home anytime I visited here. Kind of hard to explain lol.

Both. 

Technically, home is where my cat is!

But I refer to the US as home.  But then when I return to the U.K., we are going back home.

Living abroad is weird, you’ll likely feel like you don’t fit in in the U.K. and when you return to the US, you likely feel like you don’t fit in there anymore either.  That’s the downside of being an immigrant.

You will luckily have lots of places that feel like home.   

Both. 

Technically, home is where my cat is!

But I refer to the US as home.  But then when I return to the U.K., we are going back home.

Living abroad is weird, you’ll likely feel like you don’t fit in in the U.K. and when you return to the US, you likely feel like you don’t fit in there anymore either.  That’s the downside of being an immigrant.

You will luckily have lots of places that feel like home.   

Agreed. It depends who I'm talking to? If I talk to family, home is where I grew up. Brits - home can be anywhere. Americans - home is the UK.

I know everyone's situation is different. Some people left behind lots of friends and family/a good life and others were happy to get away.

When you refer to the US, do you still call it "home?" Or is the UK "home" now?

Count me as one who was happy to get away!
I've been here for more than half my life, so this is definitely home.  Also, my parents no longer live in the same state where I grew up, so going back to visit them isn't going 'back home'. 

I lived in another country for a while and I made the decision that wherever I was, was home.  You know the song "Wherever I lay my hat, that's my home."  You create your own  home around you.  I think "home" can be a state of mind.

For me it was too difficult to mentally live in two places.  When I was on vacation in the UK and it was time to leave, I would be returning home.  When I was in the other country and was going back to the UK, I would be also retuning home.  I carried "home" with me.  To constantly be longing for "home" which was far away would have upset me so much - and life is too short to be longing for something you can't have.

I think it is hard, but you have to make "home" where you are and just embrace whatever that place has to offer and see it all as an adventure. 

Very wonderful and interesting replies. I felt at home when I was in England with my husband...but I also still live in the US so I don't have that "The UK is home" feeling yet....I am looking forward to the day I do.

I think my family will live here forever. We've got family land, and everybody is here. I was listening to that song "The House That Built Me" by Miranda Lambert and nearly teared up because the house that I grew up in will always be "home" but my old life and my new life will be separated, quite literally, by ocean and time.

Very wonderful and interesting replies. I felt at home when I was in England with my husband...but I also still live in the US so I don't have that "The UK is home" feeling yet....I am looking forward to the day I do.

I think my family will live here forever. We've got family land, and everybody is here. I was listening to that song "The House That Built Me" by Miranda Lambert and nearly teared up because the house that I grew up in will always be "home" but my old life and my new life will be separated, quite literally, by ocean and time.

I get this.  My parents still live in my childhood home which is fun.  Particularly now that I have kids, it’s fun to walk to the park and show them the NUMEROUS places I wrote my name in wet cement.    I’ll always have a special place in my heart for the area.

Both, but I think of them in slightly different ways. Texas will always be "back home" to me.  It's in my blood.  My heart is there. I love my husband, I love my home, I love my job here in the UK.  However, ultimately, I know that Texas will eventually call us back.

This is so true for me. They're both home, but Ohio more so. My heart is there. No question. I'm very close to my family, so that's a huge part of it. My husband's family isn't as close... he has uncles, cousins, etc. he barely knows, and nieces and nephews he's never met. Not his fault of course, it's just sad that his family (more so on his Dad's side) is disjointed. No plans for kids for at least a few more years. I'm hopeful we'll be in the US by then, as we'd have much more family support there.

I visit fairly frequently. Currently here in Ohio for 6 weeks. I'm very fortunate to have an understanding husband, and a job I do 100% remotely.

I have a question for all of you that have been in the UK for some time.

I know everyone's situation is different. Some people left behind lots of friends and family/a good life and others were happy to get away.

When you refer to the US, do you still call it "home?" Or is the UK "home" now? I'm merely curious....I know it's easy to think of them both of "home" but in different ways? I've noticed a few people on the forum refer to the US as "back home" so it got me curious!!

I lived in the UK from 1998-2005. My UKC husband wanted to try living in the States so we sold everything and took the kids back to California. Even though I grew up there and had family there, I felt from the day we landed, we had made a huge mistake. Seems strange, I know, but the UK will always be home to me. We are back in Farnham right now and I couldn’t be happier. Every time we come back it feels as if no time has passed and we just take up where we left off with friends and family. On the contrary, my US family hardly ever gets together or even communicates with one another and our circle of friends was quite small and we didn’t really socialize that much due to our crazy work schedules. I love the UK for too many reasons to put here and I am so happy my husband finally decided it’s time to move back home. It will be difficult leaving my husband and kids in a couple weeks but needs must. Hopefully I will have Visa in hand in time for Christmas and be back home where I belong!


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Home is wherever my "stuff" is and the Daughter is.  I've moved quite a lot over my lifetime, so I never really put down roots in one place. (Hoping to finally get to do that here - we'll see how that goes.)

We both sometimes talk about California as "back home" but if someone asks where we are from, we answer "Glasgow" because that is where home is at present.

For me, the US is where I was born and lived most of my life, but the UK became 'home' the day I came to live here. I am way more comfortable here than in the US, and wouldn't go back there to live.

My parents are gone. I have a brother, estranged daughter, and adult grandchildren, plus the usual assortment of cousins. I visited regularly until my father passed a year ago, but now have no plans to go over any time soon.

This is where I WANT to be, and for me, that's home.

Not here as long as others here (going to be 5 years next month), but I would say that I consider *both* home but in different ways. When I tell people I'm going back to the US for holiday, I say "i'm going home". But, at the same time, when I'm in the US, I say I can't wait to go "home" (UK).

I know this isn't too helpful, but to me they are BOTH my home in slightly different ways. The UK is my home in that my actual house and life is here but the US is my home in that I grew up there and I have people so near and dear to me as well as some of my favourite haunts and traditions. I am actually a happier and healthier person here in the UK and it feels like this is where I'm meant to be - so-to-speak -, but I think I'm not sure the US will ever stop being my "home". Home is where my family/friends are and, unfortunately (or fortunately?), that's split across two continents.

I get this.  My parents still live in my childhood home which is fun.  Particularly now that I have kids, it’s fun to walk to the park and show them the NUMEROUS places I wrote my name in wet cement.    I’ll always have a special place in my heart for the area.

Mine do as well so I'm sure that plays into it. If one of my siblings didn't live in my hometown and my parents didn't live in the house I grew up in (say my siblings and parents moved to another state completely), I think that might change if I view going back to the US as "going home".

Both.  And neither.

I moved to the Greater London / Essex area in Spring 2006 at the age of 24.  I had what I think was a terrible start with trouble finding a job, a GP who wouldn't listen to me regarding my depression, and a lack of any social circle.  It's a fairly normal start by UK-Yankee standards I believe   My husband is an only child and both of his parents are very hands-off so settling was hard.  I gained citizenship after 3 years and finally started to feel settled and content after about 4-5 years.  It was about 7 years before I really hit my stride and thought, this is where I belong.

I go "back home" to Georgia the same way my mother "goes home" to Ohio despite leaving there in the mid-1970s.  The UK is my forever living space though.  I don't see leaving and moving to the US.

The UK isn't really home either, at least not in the completely understanding it sense.  I sometimes just don't get things.  I still get frustrated and baffled by things, but less as time goes on.  I'm occasionally reminded that I have two homes where my heart is and that can make me feel like I don't fully belong anywhere in my greatest moments of frustration when I feel I'll always be an outsider in some way. 

In a less emotional sense, home to anyone else is simply in context.  I bring shopping home from the grocery store (that's to London!) just as easily as I say I won't be coming or going home in the Spring due to work after all (that's to the US!).  I won't let anyone else host Thanksgiving because I need it to be like it is at "home" (US) but I also won't eat out then because it needs to be at "home" (my house).  Both my parents and my mother and law use home quite fluidly having moved far away from their childhood location and all their siblings.  There's rarely any confusion.