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Topic: Just had my first UK driving experience...  (Read 9163 times)

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Just had my first UK driving experience...
« on: September 10, 2018, 11:58:21 PM »
5 days into my arrival, I decided (at the suggestion of my husband) to hop into the drivers seat and try driving the short distance from the flat to the car park. It was in the evening, the roads were empty. I drove a manual for about 2 years between 2009-2011 until I bought my automatic Mazda 6. And in 2015 I bought an automatic Mercury Sable. I prefer automatics, but I was well aware that Tom had a manual. We both thought that maybe I should just drive a short distance and see how it goes. I agreed, I gotta just jump into it.

okay...real talk. I've been nervous about the driving in England thing for a while. But I know that I have to just suck it up and practice because I won't be able to stand relying on him for rides, and not being able to just take myself somewhere without paying loads of money on a train/taxies/what have you.

First, his car is tiny. TINY! My Mercury was pretty large..and my spacial awareness is used to the large car. I commuted to work, zoomed into parking spaces...It was mine. In his car, I've got no idea what's around me. I feel like he's always about to bump into something and he's still got inches between the thing and the hood of his car!! It's so small! Two, I am not used to a manual anymore. I know how to drive one and I managed, but I haven't had any practice in literally years. Three, the stick is on the other side now, and my left hand has 0 coordination and I'm not accustomed to shifting with my left hand. It felt wrong and weird and I couldn't focus on anything else because my hand just wouldn't work. Four, I grew up in Louisiana where there is one hill in the entire state. I am not used to having to adjust the parking brake/shift into neutral/etc. There were a few times when Tom put the brake on (because it needed to be on) without me realizing, and then I got flustered because I didn't notice/didn't do it when it was supposed to be done. He was very patient with me and very understanding. I managed to pass up the turn and I had to drive twice as long, shifting between first and third gear. I was so focused on shifting with my left hand that had Tom not been in the vehicle, I wouldn't have been able to pay attention to the signs! I'm not used to stoplights being on the sides....I'm terrified to pass them up/run red lights!

We got out the car and I just cried because I already learned how to drive. I had a wonderful car and now I don't have one anymore. I can't drive here and for the first time since I arrived I had the fleeting thought, "I want to go home!" Obviously the moment passed, and Tom was very supportive and he's "proud of me for trying" and now we "know where I am" in regard to driving here. It's just a sh*t feeling to know that I panicked driving, when I used to drive 60 miles a day back and forth from home and work back in the States. I already learned how to drive, and now I've got to do it again!!

What have you guys experienced? I truly felt like if he hadn't been in the car there is NO way I'd have been able to get around. I can't focus on shifting and the road at the same time, I don't recognize many of the signs, and in general it's just different. I had no idea where I was going.

I know that it'll just take time and that I probably sound suuuper impatient...I don't mean to be a drama queen! I think I just had confidence when it came to driving here, and that experience shattered it.

I'll keep you all updated on my progress. I think I'll take real lessons because my nerves are crazy.  ??? ???
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Re: Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2018, 12:17:03 AM »
Take driving lessons! It makes a big difference. They will point out things that are done differently here (the hand brake kills me, I only used mine for parking or if skidding in the winter on my old manual car). Get the DVSA app to learn the road signs and speed limits and study for your theory test.

I've driven over here a few times when visiting and always in an automatic. It's genuinely not that hard once you have a little practice. You were thrown to the wolves with a manual and open roads!


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Re: Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2018, 03:48:37 AM »
I totally agree with Margo, take lessons!

I had never been behind the wheel of a car before the age of 28. I grew up in parts of Texas where I could walk anywhere or take public transportation to the places I needed to go but Berkshire was a different thing. I ended up taking 10 lessons with the AA and passed my test on the first try. That’s with me not having any experience so you won’t find it as difficult as I did starting from scratch. You already know how to drive! My son recently passed his driving test and decided to learn how to drive my manual Mini Cooper. He learned in two days. I know you’ll do it with a few lessons.

It will get better, I promise.


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Re: Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2018, 05:13:14 AM »
Don't be hard on yourself, it was your first try.  :) It will get easier, hang in there.


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Re: Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2018, 06:43:14 AM »
Sounds like my exact first experience driving over here and I waited awhile to drive! We couldn't afford to put me on the insurance until after I had my job.

Man, I remember feeling like we were gonna constantly hit things as a passenger. Not that my hubby is a bad driver, it's that they have different driving behaviours here, like waiting to stop at junctions and double parking on narrow roads. 😫

You're fighting muscle memory, which isn't an easy thing, on smaller roads and you're stressing which just makes things worse. Give yourself some time. It's a big change and you're barely adjusted to the time zone! (It takes 5 days at a minimum).

I will third Margo's driving lesson suggestion, you may need to do a few calls and trial lessons to find the right instructor for you. You need someone who understands that you know how to drive, you just need help getting used to driving on the left.

I literally sat in the car a few times, in park, and just practiced shifting with my left hand. I don't know about you, but I certainly felt that the shifter should have been a mirror image rather than the exact same pattern just shifted from the left. Haha.

ETA: oh, and every car has a different gear box which can really affect how it shifts and when and how smoothly. I intensely dislike our SEAT Ibiza's, it's weird, but I'm making due.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2018, 06:48:45 AM by lyonaria »
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.


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Re: Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2018, 07:54:21 AM »
Your realisation that it is impossible to drive and navigate unfamiliar roads is an important one.  You simply can't drive and try to follow the signs, there's just too much going on .  Once you start to drive, you'll need a good sat nav.


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Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2018, 08:13:39 AM »
Don’t panic! I felt like this exactly, and I was driving an automatic! For months, I couldn’t have the radio on and drive, it was too distracting. I had to almost aim the car towards the Center line. It’s a spatial thing. Now the body of the car is on the other side. It’s hard to even be a passenger! My car is small and I cant see the hood so it has taken time

Take it slow, take lessons. You’ll be amazed at how much you’ll learn. Study the DVSA materials, mock tests etc so you’ll have an idea what the instructor is talking about. Believe me, they will know if you haven’t. You will conquer this in time. And once you do, you’ll feel like the queen of the world! I love driving now, but it took me a good year.

** Oh, and second the sat nav. The street signs in Glasgow are up on the buildings, you can’t see them. I like my Garmin Nuvi. It says “ take a left at the next light” We had a Tom Tom for a short bit that said “ in 200 feet take a left” I just couldn’t follow that with all that’s going on in Glasgow, where jaywalking is mandatory. It could have been a setting thing, I’ll never know.
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« Last Edit: September 11, 2018, 08:25:38 AM by barbjones56 »


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Re: Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2018, 08:56:46 AM »
** Oh, and second the sat nav. The street signs in Glasgow are up on the buildings, you can’t see them. I like my Garmin Nuvi. It says “ take a left at the next light” We had a Tom Tom for a short bit that said “ in 200 feet take a left” I just couldn’t follow that with all that’s going on in Glasgow, where jaywalking is mandatory. It could have been a setting thing, I’ll never know.

I've been thinking about getting a satnav for a while now but the last time I looked, the reviews were full of people who had been directed down country lanes while the motorway zipped by on their left!
Presumably they are better now?


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Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2018, 09:27:49 AM »
There is a definite learning curve to it. Sometimes I just have to know what it means (not what it says!)

But it displays next turn in the upper left corner and I find that really helpful to know which lane to start shooting for. I can tell that I’m on the right road because it shows me where I am on the display, if I’m not on the purple line, I’ve made a wrong turn. But then it will recalculate quickly.

It’s also really helpful on big multiple exit roundabouts because it gives you a visual of where you’ll exit. I’d be lost without it.




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« Last Edit: September 11, 2018, 09:38:12 AM by barbjones56 »


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Re: Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2018, 09:41:31 AM »
I've been thinking about getting a satnav for a while now but the last time I looked, the reviews were full of people who had been directed down country lanes while the motorway zipped by on their left!
Presumably they are better now?
I've been using waze with a windshield mount for my phone, connected on Bluetooth. There's a slight delay on the speech but it does a good job showing the upcoming turns and which roundabout exit you're on.



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Re: Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2018, 09:43:19 AM »
Girl, what was my one word of advice to you?  What was that?  BE KIND TO YOURSELF!!!  That's it.   ;)

My first driving experience here was insane.  I had a hired car from work.  I had taken the train to/from work for a few days so I had NO IDEA what the roads were like between where I was staying and the office.  And it was pitch black as it was winter.  My hired car arrived at work and all anyone told me was how tiny the cars are.  Well, I had the world's largest station wagon as my hired car.  Great fun!   ::)

So yeah, my first time driving in the UK was in the pitch black, on unfamiliar roads, in a massive MASSIVE car.  And I lived to tell the tale.  The next day I went out and just drove for 4 hours and I've felt fine  (mostly) ever since.

You'll get there.  Practice in an empty parking lot first.


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Re: Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2018, 09:56:25 AM »
Completely and utterly agree with the take driving lessons (you might find you actually don't need too many once you get your refresher and feel more comfortable).

I drove for the first time after living here for OVER 2 YEARS! We were living close to the city centre of Reading at the time, which is chaotic on the roads at the best of times. I made it a few roads down before I told my husband I had to pull over and he needed to drive because my anxiety was kicking into overdrive. I was freaking out and nearly crying by the time we swapped seats. I was used to being n the opposite side of the road at this point, but the driving itself on the small and busy roads were just too overwhelming for me. Didn't try again for quite a while. I'm fairly certain I was driving an automatic at that point as well so it wasn't even an issue with it being manual.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You've only been here a very short period! Don't rush yourself into making sure you're fully integrated too quickly a you'll burn yourself out.
My, how time flies....

* Married in the US and applied for first spousal visa August 2013
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Re: Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2018, 11:24:19 AM »
For the first four years I was here, I only drove three times.  The first time, in my husband's old Citreon, I underestimated how sharp a bend in the road was, and he didn't suggest I drive again for several months.  The second time, I was driving my new-to-us Honda S2000, and clipped a curb on a roundabout, so I banned myself from driving it again 'til I was acclimated to driving in the UK (five years later, I still haven't driven my Honda since that day... my husband drives it when we want to put the top down and burn through some petrol).  The third time, several of us were at the pub in the next village over for the landlord's son's 18th birthday.  Among us and two friends who needed a lift, I was the only sober one when it was time to go home at 3am, so even though I was only on my provisional, I drove us home... this was NOT legal, but it was efficient, and we were only in my husband's old "eBay special" so as long as the police didn't get involved,  I wasn't too worried about potential mishaps (and there weren't any mishaps!).

The next time I drove was last March, when I started lessons to get my full driving license (which I got at the end of April).  By then, I'd been here on a settlement visa for four years, and had the six-month visit the year before getting my visa.  After getting my license, I still didn't really start driving regularly until we bought Panda in June this year... so, three months ago!  (And "regular" in this case means two to four outings a month, because the point of Panda was so I could have an occasional car and my husband's commute to work would be significantly cheaper. Panda will pay for himself in fuel savings inside of a year.)

Anyway.  I would echo the others: give yourself time (but maybe not as much time as I gave myself!), use satnav (agree with Margo that Waze on a smartphone is very good, and it uses surprisingly little data), and take a few lessons with not-your-husband (don't add driving stress into your relationship!).
« Last Edit: September 11, 2018, 11:27:30 AM by jfkimberly »
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Re: Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2018, 12:16:53 PM »
I've been thinking about getting a satnav for a while now but the last time I looked, the reviews were full of people who had been directed down country lanes while the motorway zipped by on their left!
Presumably they are better now?

I use Google maps as they generally do a good job at keeping things updated. Our Garmin has been good too,it came with the car. 😁
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.


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Re: Just had my first UK driving experience...
« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2018, 12:24:48 PM »
I used Waze in America, and I love it! I find Google Maps to be a bit laggy and wonky.. Never had an issue with Waze.

I had a good cry and a mini self pity party. I commuted to work for three years....I loved my car, my hour commute was (usually) peaceful when there wasn't traffic, and I had an amazing sound system. I could blare my music, I knew the roads like the back of my hand...I come here and it's like I'm on another planet. I tried so hard to prepare myself for this move and I still underestimated it. I don't know how I'm feeling right now.  I'm also PMSing so I'm extra cry-ing and extra-emotional. But then Tom comes home and I remember why I did this.

I honestly think I'm overwhelmed, because I'm having issues with my money's wire transfer (my husband STILL hasn't received the money I sent two weeks ago) I've contacted the bank about it, and it apparently didn't send for DAYS after I filled in the paperwork due to Labor Day...and his bank can take a few business days to receive it...I'm living off my couple hundred pounds I exchanged into cash, and I'd expected my savings to be here by now. I'm in panic mode. I had to buy a desk, and a few things for the apartment that I wanted so I've spent more than half of what I brought, thinking that my savings would arrive by now. It hasn't, and now I'm freaking out.

I think I'm still jet-lagged. Maybe I should've waited to try driving, but I feel like my state of mind switched after that. It was my first real "You can't go back, you're here now deal with it" and it frightened me. This isn't to say I regret it or I want to go back home for real, I'm well aware that I need to adjust to it all. I just think my emotions are just all over the place. And I'm sad and I want to call my dad but it's only 6am back home. My dad taught me how to drive when I was 15. I didn't think I'd have to do it all over again! Now I'm in the UK totally unaware of everything. I'll get there I think it's just hitting me and I just got here. My phone number is still temporary, I had to switch my automatic withdrawals to Tom's card because my card is "blocked in the UK," my money hasn't arrived, I can't drive, and I've got no idea how to get around town yet.

Okay okay, if I keep typing I'll just rant and complain and nobody wants that! LOL Thanks for listening guys :) Ya'll are the only ones who understand.



Married: 14 June 2018
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ILR #3: 16 February 2024 (Approved!)


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