Yes, the pressure to conform (in a superficial manner) seems enormous here. Which I suppose contradicts the idea that the Christmas emphasis is part of a light, cultural festivity, not at all about deeper experiences of the divine (baby X) and 'miracle' of God made flesh, etc.
I'm thinking more of a bigger picture than the nativity play, I guess. I think it's fine to have ideals, but when those ideals(no candy, no tv, no Barbies, no nativity plays) actually affect your children and not you then I think you have to take some responsibility. Part of getting along in school (US and UK) is unfortunately conforming. If you were going to surround yourself with only like minded people then I'd say go for it, but if you're going to put your child in a public school then I think you owe it to him/her to be a little more flexible.
For the record, my husband is an athiest. I'm closest to being a quaker as I am to being anything. And we've always kept an open mind to RE being taught in school. In fact I believe strongly that it should be taught. I think an understanding of different cultures and different religions is essential in today's world.
Like I said, all three went through a semi-religous phase around seven that didn't last. The oldest excelled at RE and one of the reasons that we sent her to a Catholic school was the RE program. She's talked about doing RE as an A level but will probably do Sociology instead. But she's not a religious person at all, although she is pretty open minded.
