Home sick

I feel like I honestly got over missing home. It was one of those things where I feel I’ve adapted here, I made friends and I just accepted this was home.

Then we go back for my brothers wedding and bring our daughter and I just can’t get over missing home and family. My family is big and was so loving of our daughter. She LOVED every second of our trip.

Where as my MIL lives in country and I see her about as much as I see my parents back home. Hubby did admit it was nice and would consider going there permanently but we want to sit tight until I have my citizenship In roughly three years.


How do you guys handle this with your kids ? I know some of you mentioned before your in laws not being as present as they could be with your kids.  It’s honestly only this factor that has made me homesick again.

I’m one who’s inlaws give zero *bleep*s about their grandkids.  My BIL and SIL moved to the area exactly one month ago yesterday and are already planning to move away again.  I think they are surprised!

It’s hard.  My kids have a great relationship with my parents, even though it’s over FaceTime.  I would love for my children to have a warm loving family around them.  We just do what we can with our nuclear family.  And my husbands cousin and her kids are becoming that family support that we’ve wished for.  Shame they don’t live super close.  Only an hour and 15 but still needs to be planned for.

I finally had to say something to OH the other day, that I love his mum but she’s never around. We’re trying for another ( we’ll technically my first) baby, and reality is hitting hard that they will have no grandma and grandpa here. MIL forgot to even send a card on our daughters last birthday.

I feel like she cares, but her definition of being close isn’t the same. Thankfully our daughter adores my mom and Dad.

 Maybe it’s a British thing?


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Maybe it’s a British thing?

Definitely not. My in-laws are extremely involved with their grandchildren (I don't have kids, but my niece and nephew) and so are the kids' other grandparents. People are just different, you can't chalk everything up to nationality .

Babyboomers? 

Definitely not a British thing.  Just a “some people” thing.  A lot of my British friends have the exact opposite problem - overbearing, over involved inlaws!

Yeah, definitely not a British thing. 

I reckon some people should have never been parents, let alone grandparents.  Not all that long ago, it what was expected.  Or got pregnant or just whatever. 
Some people tolerate their own kids, but other peoples kids, forget it. And that includes grandkids.
Or they've gotten used to not having small kids around and it disrupts their routines.

I never had the warm and fuzzy grandparents that many friends did.  Mine were not interested, could care less. 

I never had the warm and fuzzy grandparents that many friends did.  Mine were not interested, could care less. 

Ugh, I hate hearing this.  I didn't have grandparents that lived nearby growing up but felt very loved by them.

How did that affect you, would you say?  I just worry about how my kids uninterested grandparents will affect them.  My daughter adores them...  they just don't even have the kids on their radar...

I'm not sure how much it affected me, to be honest.  I am a warm-fuzzy-nostalgic person by nature, ruled by my heart for family history and lore, but grandparents don't really fall into my memories like that often. I don't have ill feelings, I just don't think there is too much influence over my life. Well.... Maybe not, actually.....
My Nana (Dad's Mom) was a classically trained pianist who could have gone really far. But she had to give it up in those days to have a family. I think she felt really sad about that (amongst other things and she had a tough life and suffered a lot of depression).  But she engrained a love of music into us that runs very deep. Not through her directly to us, really, but through my Dad.
Also, my Grandfather on my Mom's side was born in West Lothian and moved to the US when he was 11. He had a mild Scottish accent that popped out strong when he drank whisky (which was often).  His house was filled with books and books on Scotland.  He told all kinds of stories (he was a narcissist), but some of these really got into me and into my cousins . My Mom's cousins of course all had Scottish parents too so a love of Scotland trickled all through my family. 

Hmmm............  Interesting.......   

I reckon some people should have never been parents, let alone grandparents. 

This!

I retract my statement about it being a British thing! Think it’s just my husband’s family thing.   

The only thing really good my MIL has done is give us mostly the full amount of my visa money. She’s never given us anything before and for this I am very grateful. But she won’t even text me back lol will only FB message me


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I'm not sure how much it affected me, to be honest.  I am a warm-fuzzy-nostalgic person by nature, ruled by my heart for family history and lore, but grandparents don't really fall into my memories like that often. I don't have ill feelings, I just don't think there is too much influence over my life. Well.... Maybe not, actually.....
My Nana (Dad's Mom) was a classically trained pianist who could have gone really far. But she had to give it up in those days to have a family. I think she felt really sad about that (amongst other things and she had a tough life and suffered a lot of depression).  But she engrained a love of music into us that runs very deep. Not through her directly to us, really, but through my Dad.
Also, my Grandfather on my Mom's side was born in West Lothian and moved to the US when he was 11. He had a mild Scottish accent that popped out strong when he drank whisky (which was often).  His house was filled with books and books on Scotland.  He told all kinds of stories (he was a narcissist), but some of these really got into me and into my cousins . My Mom's cousins of course all had Scottish parents too so a love of Scotland trickled all through my family. 

Hmmm............  Interesting.......

Your family sounds much like mine! My heritage was a bit further back but my grandfather loved researching it and had so many travel books. We all got together on holidays and that was it, but I appreciate the things that I learned from them. My grandma taught me to crochet and tat, and my aunt taught me to knit. And we all played euchre.

I had a fight with my husband tonight because I moved here because his parents are more elderly than mine, and we never see them. His brother is visiting from the states and apparently the only time we will see him is for dinner on his way out of the country, instead of at his parents house too. I'm putting my foot down and contacting the in laws tomorrow to make plans.

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