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Topic: Job woes  (Read 3573 times)

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Job woes
« on: November 05, 2018, 08:23:59 PM »
Does anybody feel like they’re just going nowhere with work? I was so lucky and got work right off the bat, and even a second job that is much better. But now I feel like I’m in a rut.

I’ve applied for a few internal jobs through the two years at my current place and just nothing. I don’t get bad feedback from interviews so it’s like what gives.

We are actively trying for a baby so I don’t want to leave and then maybe fall pregnant and lose out on mat leave. My visa is also in process so I can’t leave if I wanted to.

Sometimes I just feel like there’s no way up for me and I’m best to just accept it, stop going above and beyond. Then I remember I worked my way through my masters working sixty hours a week while going to school twelve hours at night, and it’s not who I am.

I just feel so so so defeated to the point of tears. I don’t know what todo anymore. I was on a management course/mentoring program but that got pulled to put me on a special project. A project that gives me no pay rise but double the stress. I thought this project would expose me, as all I get is positive feedback from directors but then when I apply for a job in their department, I didn’t even get an interview.

I feel dammed if I stay and dammed if I leave.

Sorry for the long post, I just don’t know where to vent anymore. Poor OH is supportive, but his solution is just hand your notice in we’ll survive.

I don’t want to survive I want to continue being comfortable and I don’t want a gap on my cv with no explanation.


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« Last Edit: November 05, 2018, 08:38:07 PM by Eh127929 »


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Re: Job woes
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2018, 08:29:06 PM »
While I don’t feel I’m going nowhere, I too am struggling with work at the moment. I feel I’m being underpaid and overstretched and under appreciated. I’m working late quite frequently and had gotten to the point that I was so stressed before I went on annual leave that I literally cried at our hot desk bank in front of people (and I’m not a crier - it’s exceptionally rare and reserved for when I’m the most upset or frustrated). I’m shouted about it to my line manager more times than I can count and, though she is doing everything she can, nothing is changing. I’m at a point where I’m revamping  my CV because I don’t know how much longer I can do this as I’m already feeling burned out.


Sending you all the positive vibes I can and hope you can find a better work situation for yourself soon! It can be tough out there at the moment with all the Brexit uncertainty


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Re: Job woes
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2018, 08:37:07 PM »
Sounds like your in a similar situation.. I am working an extra fifteen or so hours a week but I’ve been able to get away with overtime claiming. Just stinks like when is it my turn, it’s all good in saying your doing a good job but where’s the pay off?

I hope things get better for you too :)


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Re: Job woes
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2018, 08:56:05 PM »
Sounds like your in a similar situation.. I am working an extra fifteen or so hours a week but I’ve been able to get away with overtime claiming. Just stinks like when is it my turn, it’s all good in saying your doing a good job but where’s the pay off?

I hope things get better for you too :)


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Oh yeah I mean I could technically put the extra time on my timesheet, but I won't actually get paid for it (I'll just get shouted at for overworking because my line manager wants to make sure I'm maintaining some type of balance). The problem is that I can either get shouted at for putting the time on my timesheet and then be told off for working late OR I can not work late and get told off for not getting all the important stuff done....OOOOOOR I could work late and not put it on my timesheet and have less people on my case but feel more swamped and hectic.

I think I've honestly just hit a point where I don't even care to get certain things done, I know it sounds bad but sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed now that I procrastinate doing work because my brain is just so overloaded that it can't decide what I should do first so I do nothing. My patience have just started wearing very thin and I have no desire to just "put up" with it anymore with certain things...the problem is that I genuinely wouldn't be happy if I just decided to say no altogether and not work to this level. I pride myself on doing the best job I can so I can't actively stop myself even when I should...

Completely agree that being told by one person that you're doing a good job just doesn't cut it when you hit a certain point. They keep telling me the exposure I'm getting will pay off but I just laugh at that now.
My, how time flies....

* Married in the US and applied for first spousal visa August 2013
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Re: Job woes
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2018, 10:21:59 PM »
Oh yeah I mean I could technically put the extra time on my timesheet, but I won't actually get paid for it (I'll just get shouted at for overworking because my line manager wants to make sure I'm maintaining some type of balance). The problem is that I can either get shouted at for putting the time on my timesheet and then be told off for working late OR I can not work late and get told off for not getting all the important stuff done....OOOOOOR I could work late and not put it on my timesheet and have less people on my case but feel more swamped and hectic.

I think I've honestly just hit a point where I don't even care to get certain things done, I know it sounds bad but sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed now that I procrastinate doing work because my brain is just so overloaded that it can't decide what I should do first so I do nothing. My patience have just started wearing very thin and I have no desire to just "put up" with it anymore with certain things...the problem is that I genuinely wouldn't be happy if I just decided to say no altogether and not work to this level. I pride myself on doing the best job I can so I can't actively stop myself even when I should...

Completely agree that being told by one person that you're doing a good job just doesn't cut it when you hit a certain point. They keep telling me the exposure I'm getting will pay off but I just laugh at that now.

Gosh I feel like we’re in very similar positions. Though I told my direct manager today I’m not doing any more project work outside my contracted hours and I’ll do her work for overtime. She’s not the one who pulled me into my current project so she was more than happy to have me back a bit. I will admit it felt really good to not turn my work mobile on or open my emails this morning until my contracted start time.... but then I ended up staying late working on said project.

I’m sick of the exposure comment, my boss keeps telling me that but they don’t realize once your over loaded you don’t work efficiently as you should. 

I really hope it gets better for you.. I know it can suck big time but hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel.


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Re: Job woes
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2018, 10:29:42 PM »
You're describing my whole life. I went to the right school, the right university. And then I left uni in 2008. Nothing. And then I became a teacher so I could stay in the UK and have a job, any job. And then I had to stop, it nearly killed me (combined with infertility). So now I'm pregnant (finally), in a very part time job that will lead exactly nowhere. I feel like I'm starting my whole life over (again) in my mid-30's when actually I should have something figured out.

I don't feel challenged. I feel like I've been stagnating the last 3 years...

And I've never had a job that paid me for overtime. Teaching was the worst for that. I think the lowest number of hours I worked during 7 years was about 55 hours a week (and ranged up to 80).
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Re: Job woes
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2018, 10:41:06 PM »
Gosh I feel like we’re in very similar positions. Though I told my direct manager today I’m not doing any more project work outside my contracted hours and I’ll do her work for overtime. She’s not the one who pulled me into my current project so she was more than happy to have me back a bit.

Aahhhh say no more.... project work. We truly are in very similar positions! I work on projects as well (I'm a project coordinator currently acting as a project specialist.......and the project specialists on my project are functioning as project managers so I'm actually doing project work at 2 pay bands above my actual role for my pay band's pay). Seems we are definitely in a verrryyy similar boat.

Makes me feel even MORE empathetic for you. Keeping fingers crossed for both of us that our hard work pays off.

My, how time flies....

* Married in the US and applied for first spousal visa August 2013
* Moved to the UK on said visa October 2013
* FLR(M) applied for  May 2016. Biometrics requested June 2016. Approval given July 2016.
* ILR applied for January 2019 (using priority processing). Approved February 2019.
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Re: Job woes
« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2018, 12:37:52 PM »
Man, I so feel you.  I'm at a dead end, bored and now I'm being bullied.  So, I keep looking, but sadly, there no jobs around here that are even close to what I do and certainly salaries aren't even remotely close.  I'm not doing the game that so many others do, which is get on a plane/train on a Monday morning and come back on a Friday, working elsewhere in the country.  So, look for another job in the company (so far no luck) or quit and who knows.... 
Mostly, just huge hugs.... 
I've never gotten food on my underpants!
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Re: Job woes
« Reply #8 on: November 06, 2018, 12:58:14 PM »
Man, I so feel you.  I'm at a dead end, bored and now I'm being bullied.  So, I keep looking, but sadly, there no jobs around here that are even close to what I do and certainly salaries aren't even remotely close.  I'm not doing the game that so many others do, which is get on a plane/train on a Monday morning and come back on a Friday, working elsewhere in the country.  So, look for another job in the company (so far no luck) or quit and who knows.... 
Mostly, just huge hugs....

Oh no! :( What are they bullying you about?! Can you raise a case with HR? Sending big hugs your way.
My, how time flies....

* Married in the US and applied for first spousal visa August 2013
* Moved to the UK on said visa October 2013
* FLR(M) applied for  May 2016. Biometrics requested June 2016. Approval given July 2016.
* ILR applied for January 2019 (using priority processing). Approved February 2019.
* Citizenship applied for May  2019
* Citizenship approved on July 4th 2019
* Ceremony conducted on August 28th 2019

'Mommy, Wow! I'm a legit Brit now!'


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Re: Job woes
« Reply #9 on: November 06, 2018, 01:06:23 PM »
Big hugs!

What is your company's maternity pay policy?  If it's not enhanced maternity pay, then no *real* point in staying as you'll qualify for maternity allowance, which is the same amount as statutory pay.

Just something to keep in mind. 

I feel like I've been trying to climb to the next rung of the ladder for years.   ::)


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Re: Job woes
« Reply #10 on: November 06, 2018, 01:08:36 PM »
Oh no! :( What are they bullying you about?! Can you raise a case with HR? Sending big hugs your way.

Yes, I have been working with HR.  (Bullying from my boss, long story)
I've never gotten food on my underpants!
Work permit (2007) to British Citizen (2014)
You're stuck with me!


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Re: Job woes
« Reply #11 on: November 06, 2018, 01:36:33 PM »
Yes, I have been working with HR.  (Bullying from my boss, long story)

That's disgraceful...I hope HR helps you resolve it as quickly as possible.
My, how time flies....

* Married in the US and applied for first spousal visa August 2013
* Moved to the UK on said visa October 2013
* FLR(M) applied for  May 2016. Biometrics requested June 2016. Approval given July 2016.
* ILR applied for January 2019 (using priority processing). Approved February 2019.
* Citizenship applied for May  2019
* Citizenship approved on July 4th 2019
* Ceremony conducted on August 28th 2019

'Mommy, Wow! I'm a legit Brit now!'


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Re: Job woes
« Reply #12 on: November 06, 2018, 02:38:07 PM »
Our "VPS Survey" (internal feedback for the year) came out yesterday and it's just making me want to leave my job even more. They really put us in the shittest position possible. They ask us "to be honest" but they don't actually want honesty as they've asked the line managers to cascade some information about the survey down (and it apparently ended up being most of them trying to convince people to give positive scores only and to "think twice" before giving a low rating because we "wouldn't want to punish our colleagues"). I have a very good relationship with my line manager so I feel, effectively, backed into a corner. My options are:

1. Answer honestly and leave feedback to show that it's not my line manager I'm unhappy with, it's the business as a whole. This will give my line manager poorer scores than I feel she deserves as she's one of the best line managers I've had and is far better than the other line managers who's teams will give them top marks just to shut them up about scoring). Unfairly the majority of the question are about line managers directly but they confuse things by addressing the question about "the business" but they don't really care about your feedback for "the business".

2. I can choose not to respond to the survey at all in protest because they don't care for my honest feedback. This will also impact my line manager because they won't be able to tell who submitted what survey, but they can tell which area the surveys have come from and my line manager is given KPIs in her goals including percentage of people completing the survey.

3.(which is my top choice) I can fill everything in with a 5 and then add descriptive comments that say this isn't how I truly feel but I feel the business only cares about top marks...and then follow up with actual helpful feedback. I need to make it as nondescript as possible because upper management will be trying to figure out who's submitted what results and they will punish people even if they pretend they won't (I know my line manager wouldn't rat me out but the point is that they will completely spend far more effort trying to figure out who said what and making their life miserable than just fixing the bloody problems we're unhappy with).


The problem with option 3 is that  one of the senior manager's a**-lackey is sitting on the bench today and she heard us chatting about what a waste the survey was etc. and she could probably help identify us as people who MAY be the one submitting the results....The survey itself is just really not helping my attitude towards staying in this job.

Husband's line manager's roles were frozen so he couldn't hire me but said he's let my husband know if any roles happened to open up again that he could put me forward for. I'm just so done. I either need a proper PM role or a pay rise (whether internally or externally) OR I need to move somewhere with a much more creative atmosphere because at least that would help me feel I was enjoying my job as the last few months I've just been exhausted and miserable with barely any redeeming qualities beyond having a good team around me in the office.
My, how time flies....

* Married in the US and applied for first spousal visa August 2013
* Moved to the UK on said visa October 2013
* FLR(M) applied for  May 2016. Biometrics requested June 2016. Approval given July 2016.
* ILR applied for January 2019 (using priority processing). Approved February 2019.
* Citizenship applied for May  2019
* Citizenship approved on July 4th 2019
* Ceremony conducted on August 28th 2019

'Mommy, Wow! I'm a legit Brit now!'


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Re: Job woes
« Reply #13 on: November 06, 2018, 04:03:04 PM »
TBH I think the situation you describe is pretty common across the board and affects British people as well as expats. My husband was in a terrible job for years where he was overworked, stressed, unappreciated, and had no opportunity for advancement. He finally managed to find another job that seemed like it would be better, but it's the NHS and their budget is constantly under threat, people keep leaving and not being replaced, etc.

I am lucky to have work that I love, but for the past 1.5 ish years I had a fantastic job that paid well and was so low stress, great colleagues, it seemed too good to be true... because it was. The whole shebang was closed down by the American corporate office a few months ago and now I'm doing the same work for much less money, more hours and more stress :(
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Re: Job woes
« Reply #14 on: November 06, 2018, 06:27:33 PM »
You're describing my whole life. I went to the right school, the right university. And then I left uni in 2008. Nothing. And then I became a teacher so I could stay in the UK and have a job, any job. And then I had to stop, it nearly killed me (combined with infertility). So now I'm pregnant (finally), in a very part time job that will lead exactly nowhere. I feel like I'm starting my whole life over (again) in my mid-30's when actually I should have something figured out.

I don't feel challenged. I feel like I've been stagnating the last 3 years...

And I've never had a job that paid me for overtime. Teaching was the worst for that. I think the lowest number of hours I worked during 7 years was about 55 hours a week (and ranged up to 80).


I’m glad you have fallen pregnant despite your infertility.  I commend teachers it must be the hardest working, underpaid profession I can think of.


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