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Topic: British wife diagnosed with Cancer  (Read 2805 times)

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British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« on: December 12, 2018, 12:50:00 PM »
Hello everyone,

I am an American living in UK for 7 years now. I"ve posted a few things here and you've all been wonderful with excellent advice.

Now I'm faced with a real pickle as my British wife of 31 years has been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, has just been told the chemotherapy is not working and she will soon start immunotherapy. It's a real possibility that she will not get better.

I need help in several areas but wasn't sure of where to post these questions. I'm on my lunch break and at the age of 65 am working 45  hours per week. I've just started with this company, coincidently, I agreed to join on the day my wife was initially diagnosed not knowing the depth/extent of the cancer - of which information has trickled out over time since Oct. 1st. I've been with this new company since Nov 5.

My 1st question is concerning "compassionate leave". I've heard that an employer must allow leave for as many days as it might take to get relief... Does this depend on each company? Do I need to have worked with them for a period of time?

Obviously we are in shock, it's all happening so fast. I'm angry and frightened for my wife and myself and our 16 year old daughter. I'm quickly trying to put up a post before I go back to work so, apologies if I'm in the wrong part of the forum... or if someone has brought up this subject before.

I'll wait to hear back from you guys here ... thanks in advance
Cheers!


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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2018, 01:33:11 PM »
Are you now settled with ILR or citizenship? You may have some access to benefits if your wife needs you as a carer.


Your employee handbook should include what options the employer has so I would start there. Please make sure you speak with adult social services in your area, and possibly ACAS if you have any difficulties with your employer. It's a lot to take in, and I'm so sorry you and your wife are going through this. (I don't know enough about the standard options so I'm sure someone with more knowledge will chime in.)

I truly hope the immunotherapy helps. Keeping you both in my thoughts!

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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2018, 03:13:53 PM »
I am so, so sorry to hear this. You must be reeling at this news.

https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants
March 28th 2013-Moved to UK, husband on spouse visa.Oct 20th 2015-Applied by mail for FLR(M).Feb 1st 2016 FLR(M).March 7th 2018 ILR. YAY! March 21st NCS&JCAP appointment.


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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2018, 03:37:14 PM »
thank you for your kind words
[Are you now settled with ILR or citizenship? You may have some access to benefits if your wife needs you as a carer]
I'm not settled with ILR or citizenship, I'm on a 10 year plan where every 2.5 years I have to renew
But I will look into these other suggestions ... thanks
Cheers!


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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2018, 03:59:39 PM »
thank you for your kind words
[Are you now settled with ILR or citizenship? You may have some access to benefits if your wife needs you as a carer]
I'm not settled with ILR or citizenship, I'm on a 10 year plan where every 2.5 years I have to renew
But I will look into these other suggestions ... thanks

I'm sure this is the last thing on your mind right now but if you have been here that long, how did you end up on the 10 year route?

Also again, hoping for the best but if the worst happens, you will be able to apply directly for ILR https://www.gov.uk/visas-partner-dies
March 28th 2013-Moved to UK, husband on spouse visa.Oct 20th 2015-Applied by mail for FLR(M).Feb 1st 2016 FLR(M).March 7th 2018 ILR. YAY! March 21st NCS&JCAP appointment.


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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2018, 04:24:50 PM »
It is worth having a chat with your employer to see their thoughts (and of course, their policies).

Huge hugs.
I've never gotten food on my underpants!
Work permit (2007) to British Citizen (2014)
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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2018, 04:50:31 PM »
I'm sure this is the last thing on your mind right now but if you have been here that long, how did you end up on the 10 year route?

Also again, hoping for the best but if the worst happens, you will be able to apply directly for ILR https://www.gov.uk/visas-partner-dies

Looking at past posts, it was an overstay situation.  A simple misreading of the British dates as American dates meaning the visa had expired several months earlier.

Big hugs!  Definitely just be open and honest with your employer and see what accommodations they can make.  I'm sure they will work with you as much as possible. 


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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2018, 04:34:12 AM »
Again, thank you for your support and kind words ... I knew you guys could help. I have another question concerning my daughter: she is a Type 1 diabetic. If we need to move back to the US, I've heard that insulin is very expensive there unless you have insurance. As it is a preexisting condition, what are my chances of getting supplies for her there??

I am not earning enough to stay in the house we're in, this is also weighing on my mind and heart.

[Looking at past posts, it was an overstay situation.  A simple misreading of the British dates as American dates meaning the visa had expired several months earlier.]

yes this is what happened. My visa came back from New York with a stamp 12-1-14 = no other correspondence. I misread it as December 1, 2014 and midsummer 2014 I went to an immigration lawyer who pointed out my mistake. I had overstayed my welcome by nearly 6 months as it was actually January 12, 2014. The home office has been unsympathetic to my explanation and only because I have a daughter that is a British citizen (now) they allowed me to stay. I suppose I should have researched it and not made assumptions but hindsight is 20/20 as the saying goes.
Cheers!


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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2018, 06:50:40 PM »
Obamacare means that insurance companies cannot charge you more for pre-existing conditions. (At least that's how I understand it.) That's the one thing that the US medical insurance system has over the UK medical insurance system. You can't be denied coverage or charged more for a pre-existing. You will definitely want insurance.

What the charge for the medication will be is hard to say. You'll want to read the formulary information for the company you go with. It might be a co-pay of anywhere from $5 to $20 per prescription, or more, or they may have a special rate for diabetic supplies.

Absolute worst-case scenario would be Medicaid, the government plan. If you meet the low-income guidelines for Medicaid, insulin should be covered. You may not get a brand you have used in the past, or even the one that works best for you. You'll get the brand that Medicaid pays for.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2018, 06:55:27 PM by Nan D. »


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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2018, 08:06:06 PM »
There's a battle going on in the US for insulin supplies right now. People are dying because they  can't afford the ever increasing price of insulin and rationing supplies meaning complications from poorly managed blood sugar (they have a captive market and are profit driven... Heh). So while coverage isn't denied for being diabetic due to Obamacare provisions, I wouldn't recommend moving there right now and would fight for staying under the NHS.

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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #10 on: December 15, 2018, 06:08:43 PM »
There's a battle going on in the US for insulin supplies right now. People are dying because they  can't afford the ever increasing price of insulin and rationing supplies meaning complications from poorly managed blood sugar (they have a captive market and are profit driven... Heh). So while coverage isn't denied for being diabetic due to Obamacare provisions, I wouldn't recommend moving there right now and would fight for staying under the NHS.

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Thank you = that's what I had heard as well. A tragic story / video of a girl in the US struggling to find insulin and was actually "gifted" some from a parent of someone who passed away. The NHS has been wonderful in this regard. My daughter is a budding actress (award winning) and is exploring Universities in the US at the moment. I pointed out that insulin would be a major factor in any decision towards that goal.

I have now talked with my branch manager at work and he has given me 2 weeks off with something called "garden leave" to start up again in the new year. I'm not sure if I will have a job when I get back to it or whether I want to go back.

I'm considering retirement at this point and claiming Social Security benefits. The exchange rate is pretty good right now and might improve with Brexit in chaos. I can supplement that with 44 hours per month of part-time work. I have a "kettle-corn" business that does pretty good (depending on the weather). Anybody remember kettle corn?

Kindest regards to you all = again excellent advice.
Merry Christmas
« Last Edit: December 16, 2018, 05:55:17 PM by Vantrappen »
Cheers!


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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #11 on: December 20, 2018, 08:22:34 PM »


I'm sorry to hear about your wife. Macmillan will be able to advise on what benefits your wife can claim.
https://www.macmillan.org.uk/


My daughter is a budding actress (award winning) and is exploring Universities in the US at the moment. I pointed out that insulin would be a major factor in any decision towards that goal.

If you have to apply every 30 months for another 30 month visa: based on your British child living in the UK; how will you get another 30 month visa if the British child is no longer in the UK? Have you taken advice on this? And on what will happen when your child is age 18? Why did you choose this over starting the spouse visa route again?
« Last Edit: December 20, 2018, 08:25:23 PM by Sirius »


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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #12 on: December 25, 2018, 07:19:20 AM »

I'm sorry to hear about your wife. Macmillan will be able to advise on what benefits your wife can claim.
https://www.macmillan.org.uk/

If you have to apply every 30 months for another 30 month visa: based on your British child living in the UK; how will you get another 30 month visa if the British child is no longer in the UK? Have you taken advice on this? And on what will happen when your child is age 18? Why did you choose this over starting the spouse visa route again?

Hello Sirius = that was the only choice I was given or I should say, otherwise I would have been deported.. I've found the Home Office to be rather obtuse and difficult to communicate with. The last time we renewed my visa, the Home Office had all of our passports and we were hoping to travel to Greece for our 30th wedding anniversary.

It was nearly 3 months before we got them back. We contacted out local MP who intervened for us. By then the anniversary was over and we were out of time. Our MP was very helpful and eventually got through to someone who, again, had no sympathy for my "mistake in reading the date stamp" but agreed to let me take the test to stay at a cost of around £2700 = which we didn't have by then as my wife had changed jobs.

BTW my residence card reads spouse visa ... ??
« Last Edit: December 25, 2018, 07:24:26 AM by Vantrappen »
Cheers!


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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #13 on: December 25, 2018, 12:34:26 PM »
Hello Sirius = that was the only choice I was given or I should say, otherwise I would have been deported.. I've found the Home Office to be rather obtuse and difficult to communicate with. The last time we renewed my visa, the Home Office had all of our passports and we were hoping to travel to Greece for our 30th wedding anniversary.

It was nearly 3 months before we got them back. We contacted out local MP who intervened for us. By then the anniversary was over and we were out of time. Our MP was very helpful and eventually got through to someone who, again, had no sympathy for my "mistake in reading the date stamp" but agreed to let me take the test to stay at a cost of around £2700 = which we didn't have by then as my wife had changed jobs.

BTW my residence card reads spouse visa ... ??


You are on a spouse visa, just the 10 year path.  If the worst happens and your wife passes, you will be able to stay in the UK based on her death.  Just a choice of if you want to or not.

Happy Christmas!


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Re: British wife diagnosed with Cancer
« Reply #14 on: January 07, 2019, 12:46:27 PM »
Sorry for the delay, I've been away for Christmas and forgot about this thread.

You are on a spouse visa, just the 10 year path.  If the worst happens and your wife passes, you will be able to stay in the UK based on her death. 

It's for those that are in the UK under UK immigration rules, but it reads like it is only seems to be only for those on a spouse/partner akin to marriage/civil partner visa?

Your permission to be in the UK must have been based on being their partner. A ‘partner’ is one of the following:

    your spouse (husband or wife)
    your civil partner
    someone you were living with in a relationship that’s like a marriage or civil partnership

https://www.gov.uk/visas-partner-dies


I'm not sure if that applies to those on the ten your route? These apply for that visa every 30 months and it their situation is the same, then the next 30 month visa is granted. Plus Vantrappen said he is in the UK on a visa based on having a British child. Once they reach age 18, they are no longer a child and the child is already age 16: that's why I asked if he had taken advice on using that route instead of going back onto the spouse visa. Some of those granted the 10 year route, seem to prefer to go back onto the spouse visa route instead.

and only because I have a daughter that is a British citizen (now) they allowed me to stay.


I don't really know how this works as I am just looking at the government site. Perhaps take legal advice from a solicitor who has experience of these things?  I realise it is a painful time.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2019, 01:20:52 PM by Sirius »


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