Feeling very run down.

Hey guys,

Just reaching out because I need a little bit of encouragement and support.

I'm feeling so sad and exhausted with the low wages over here. Paired with high cost of living, we are literally always broke. I know it's probably not true, but it just seems like everyone around us is doing so much better while we are scraping by.

It took me almost a year to get decent employment (I have a Master's in Library Science which coincidentally doesn't mean sh*t over here). It was only 19 hours, but it was something. With transportation costs, I was only bringing in £550? Crazy low. I finally was able to score a job in our town that's 32 hours and I thought it was going to make this huge difference, but nope. We still only have about £400 after paying bills and all that.

I guess it just makes me sad, I thought I was going to be able to afford to go home more, or travel around Europe, or even go into London which is only about 25 mins away by train! We have to choose between saving and enjoying life and it's really just ground me down.

I don't know, I just needed to air that disappointment. I don't know if things would've been better in the States, but at least it wouldn't be as cold and grey as it is here.

Hope everyone else's New Year is going great!! Sorry to be a downer!

You are not alone in your struggle. *hugs* The culture here is to never talk about problems (in England, not on this forum) so it's very hard to actually know what anyone else is dealing with.

Now that you have your monthly budget well established, can you possibly find somewhere more affordable to live? It could be worth looking into but I don't know if that would help at all. If you're anywhere near London life is just hard, and there is no easy solution unless you can find work elsewhere. (And since there isn't much incentive to bring business outside London I don't see that changing anytime soon. Who knows what will happen with Brexit though!)

I am not the greatest for advice as I've been miserable since moving, but the struggles in the US would just be different. I try not to think about it too much because it just makes the depression & regret worse. I am trying to plan more day trips to national trust sites, which will be much easier when my husband has learned to drive. Right now I have to work up the energy to get there, enjoy the day and drive home, and that's usually too much for me to safely manage. But there are many ways to take affordable trips around this island and in Europe, it just takes planning. I encourage you to pick a few spots to see this year and make it happen!

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

Big Hugs!  Know that you are allowed to feel the way you feel. 

Looking at your signature, I'm guessing some of your household income is being set aside for visa applications, still.  There is light at the end of that tunnel.  Meanwhile, I know from decades of experience how hard it is to put social/leisure life on hold due to finances (university, grad school, then I moved to the UK and wanted to get out of rented accommodation real quick).  It's really frustrating to have to constantly make the responsible decisions for so long, but it will get better.  Is there any room in your budget to set aside short-term reward goal money?  Like, "If we save up £300, we can treat ourselves to £50 on dinner out," or something. 

Back when I first came over, I often found myself comparing cost of living. On my worst days, I would think how easy we could have it if my husband wasn't so opposed to moving to the US.  But now I'm glad I stuck it out and that he was so stubborn.  It was like living the grad school budget all over again, but I'm on the other side of the immigration mountain and now I'm not living in Trumpville, USA.

Wages have stagnated. Prices are up.

Tories, the poor pay for the rich.

Hi Margo,

Thank you for your kind words! Sometimes advice isn't necessary but just knowing someone is listening and commiserating is enough, so thanks for that!

Unfortunately, moving doesn't seem to be an option. We are close to London, which is definitely why we are so poor, but I don't think we could scrape together enough to move and start over job-wise. I'm hoping with my new job we could afford a few weekend trips away. Here's hoping!

Looking at your signature, I'm guessing some of your household income is being set aside for visa applications, still.  There is light at the end of that tunnel.  Meanwhile, I know from decades of experience how hard it is to put social/leisure life on hold due to finances (university, grad school, then I moved to the UK and wanted to get out of rented accommodation real quick).  It's really frustrating to have to constantly make the responsible decisions for so long, but it will get better.  Is there any room in your budget to set aside short-term reward goal money?  Like, "If we save up £300, we can treat ourselves to £50 on dinner out," or something. 

Back when I first came over, I often found myself comparing cost of living. On my worst days, I would think how easy we could have it if my husband wasn't so opposed to moving to the US.  But now I'm glad I stuck it out and that he was so stubborn.  It was like living the grad school budget all over again, but I'm on the other side of the immigration mountain and now I'm not living in Trumpville, USA.

I definitely understand this - I think a lot of it comes from the fact that this has been my life for awhile now. I moved here right out of grad school, so I was already feeling worn out, but now I get to feel like that with the added bonus of potentially having gone into debt for a degree that means nothing here. I really do try my best to be positive and not let myself get trapped in negative thinking and behavior, but with the short days and a skint Christmas, I've been feeling a little bit down.

Thank you so much for the advice and words of encouragement, though!

Wages have stagnated. Prices are up.

Tories, the poor pay for the rich.

I can't really describe how absolutely livid I was to find out our MP (who coincidentally like to mention how he comes from immigrant parents) voted for the increase in the health surcharge. Disgusting, really.

Pulling the ladder up behind him.

Like Sajid Javid?

Sajid Javid is trying to racist-tweet his way to the top

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/sajid-javid-trying-racist-tweet-164451534.html

Oops, sorry for the hijack hayleeonfire.  You have my sympathy, and assurances that it will get better.  You'll eventually trade up on jobs and find a good one that's well paid.  It may take some time, but it will happen. 

We've all felt that way sometimes.

The post-holidays bleah and the cold, dark, and damp are probably not helping much.

{hugs}

Firstly, I’m sending you a giant virtual hug! I know exactly what you’re going through! I live IN London and it’s very hard. We have two children, live in zone 3 and are surviving on one income (my husband’s) until our youngest turns 3 and we qualify for free childcare. I miss working, I miss having a better quality of life and I hate that all of our extra funds are going to ILR and bills! The cost of living does NOT match salaries. It’s shitty and you have every right to vent and be frustrated. I hope your situation improves! The best advice I can give is try to get out of the house as much as possible and explore your area! Take day trips to nearby places, go to free exhibitions and museums, try to join a group (book club, rugby, whatever floats your boat..) or put a little bit of money aside each month to save for a little luxury. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel! Hang in there