getting married and visa requirements

hey y'all.

so here's the situation: i met my girlfriend while visiting friends in texas about six months ago. we've been together since then, and she's moved here on a tourist (6 month) visa about 3 months ago. basically we have until april to figure out what to do. she applied for the artist visa, as she is an excellent musician, but then they told her that she needs a grammy or something such to qualify for that. (would have been nice if they'd mentioned that, but moving on). with that not being possible, she's been trying to get a company to employ and sponsor her - she's a lawyer in texas and has passed the bar in texas and colorado, but of course that doesn't immediately qualify her to practice law here. also, to state the obvious, british law is different from american law. however, if she were to get a job helping with immigration law, that might be an advantage rather than a disadvantage. still, we've been doing what we can do to make that happen, and haven't made much headway. mostly companies don't want to deal with the bother, and would rather hire a brit, which i get, but......

we're getting pretty worried at this point, due not only to the time and money involved in getting these things (i'm working as a chef, well below the minimum amount required for, well, life as a sole bread winner, to say nothing of visas etc) and also the general global fury towards immigrants. brexit is coming up, and trump is a xenophobic a**hole, and we really don't want her to go back to the US, as i'm sincerely worried that various laws on both sides could change at any moment and prevent her from coming back.

we have friends in europe that she could stay with to extend her visa time, but i don't know if she'll have to be in her home country to apply for various things. the US is so awful right now that we'd both be more comfortable if she didn't have to go back there, to say nothing of the comparative expense. a trip to berlin is vastly cheaper than one to the US. and to be perfectly frank, there is a reason that we, a lesbian couple, moved away from there. lgbt people are almost always the first to the camps when this sort of thing goes on, historically. i'm not being alarmist, but honestly. i'd rather us both go back to the us so at least we'd be able to deal with whatever comes together, but the catch is my dad's 94, my mum's 65, and he's in hospital right now, and probably not going to last that much longer, and that's why i moved here in the first place - to be with him as he goes and to support my mother through that process. i need to be here for them, and both she and i want her to be here with me while all that's going on. still, that does mean that it's not ideal for me to leave, even for a little while.

i am a dual citizen, and have been here for two years, which is approaching residency for things like student loans and such. my parents have been here for about 13 years, living in the same house in lincoln. i'd like to go back to school, but again, i'm the only one able to make money at the moment. she's been busking in nottingham to help us make enough money to live and eat and all that fun stuff, but obviously, that's not steady, and is a tiny fraction of what she could make if she was allowed to work. dad's retired, obviously, and mum has been off work for about 6 months dealing with his declining health and all that entails. she doesn't have a lot of money either, and is trying to save enough to deal with end-of-life expenses as well, so she can't really help us out much. money, though, we'll figure out one way or another. the problem is her having to leave - that's what we're trying to prevent.

though we would have preferred to wait and not do it for the purpose of visas or taxes, we're considering getting married. i would be so happy to marry her, but i don't really believe in marriage as an institution, as it has never wanted me, and has usually been used as a weapon against who i am and whom i love. because of that, i had never considered having anything to do with it, but if i were to marry anyone, i would definitely marry her. the thing is, it currently seems like the only way to maybe let her stay here. the small strides culture has recently made mean i might be able to use it to keep her with me. but i am not a fool; i have read history, and i know the window to do that might well be fleeting.

in a practical sense, having completely ignored marriage as something i could avail myself of hitherto, i have no idea what's required or if that would even help in this situation. i know they'll interrogate us and all, and being that this is actually a legitimate relationship and we love each other, i'm not all that worried about it. my question for y'all is: how do we go about that, and what do we need to know about that process.... is that the best way, do you have another idea, etc.

basically i'm trying to figure out her not having to leave while my father's dying, and not having to go back to the US, where it's anyone's guess what new madness will crop up and trap her there.

any help and advice would be most appreciated.

Unfortunately, there is absolutely no way she can stay past the 6 months on her current visitors visa.

If you two do decide to marry and you are able to meet the requirements to sponsor her visa, she MUST apply from the USA (or any other country of which she is a legal resident of; i.e., a visa or passport holder).  There is absolutely no way around this.  None.

Also just as an aside, her busking is illegal.  If she were to be found out (as simple as an officer checking her documents while she is on the street), she would be in breach of her visitors visa, which could impact being able to have a future together in the UK. 

Unfortunately as she has found, the law field is really over saturated here.   

The best thing to do is meet the requirement to sponsor her (£18,600 per year, a place to live, and then proof of relationship), marry (easiest to do in the US.  She cannot marry while on a visitors visa), and then have her apply for a visa to return to the UK permanently.  Unfortunately none of this is quick or cheap.  But we can help you for free!   

thank you , that was helpful.

i mean, this is part of the problem: as a chef, which seems to be the best job i can get here,  in spite of having worked in theatre box office, theatre tech, movies, event planning, etc etc etc. the thing is, all the jobs at which i made a great deal of money in the US at are regarded as lowly jobs in this country (as a bartender i was making $35,000 a year in the US (the most i've ever made), and here i make less than i've made since i was 16 at that same job, with no possibility for advancement).

currently i make less than half of that requirement, have had a hard time finding any jobs at all in the UK (i'm 38 and have never been unemployed in the US for more than a couple of months when i was moving to a new city), to say nothing of making more than i've ever made in my life. i mean, i felt lucky to make $20,000 in the US, and that's not even £18,000 here. do they not take her earning potential into account at all? because she was making at least twice what i ever made.

if we got married in the US, would her earning potential be considered at all, do you think?

also, what does "proof of relationship" (which - can i just mention - is insulting and absurd, and only lends credence to my annoyance and disenfranchisement with the institution of marriage in general..... but needs must) entail?

Just a wee clarification if anyone is curious, it's not the busking itself that is illegal , just that her, being a visitor, that it is.

I really hope you two can find a way to make it all work. Our board is full of lovely people who give amazing advice* on visas, for free.      


*I'm sadly not one of them. Well, I hope I'm a lovely person, but I wouldn't have a clue on any visa stuff 

also, what does "proof of relationship" (which - can i just mention - is insulting and absurd, and only lends credence to my annoyance and disenfranchisement with the institution of marriage in general..... but needs must) entail?

Don't think of it  as insulting, think of it as UKVI making sure that:
a) you are not being forced into marrying someone you have never met and do not know
and
b) your marriage is not a sham in order to get a visa (i.e. like on TV where people marry a stranger for a green card so they don't get deported)

Proof of relationship would be:
- your marriage certificate (if you marry first and apply for a spousal visa)
- a photo of you together to show you have met at least 1 time (it is a requirement you have met to ensure it's not a forced marriage)
- boarding passes from trips to visit each other (to show that you have actually spent time together)
- letters or cards you've sent to each other (to show you communicate regularly)
- evidence of regular contact, such as call logs, message logs, email inbox screenshots (to show you communicate regularly)

i hear you... i do respect that i'm not really the one that these regulations are aimed at, as i wouldn't even consider marriage in any other circumstance than loving this woman so much.

i admit to a very big amount of resentment about people being able to marry that are being forced into it and me not being able to marry until very recently regardless. i resent straight people being able to go to vegas and drunkenly marry and get tax breaks in the US, as opposed to various friends of mine who had been together for 20-odd years and are making less in the first place because they're female, not getting any help from anyone because they're gay, and having to jump through a million hurdles, being treated like crap the whole time. the situation i'm in right now is exactly why marriage is important, but i resent wanting it after 20+ years of watching it be disrespected and taken for granted by some (NOT ALL, y'all) straight people, who seem not to realize what they have.

that people are often forced into it but that's "okay" because they're a dude and a girl, and yet it's incredibly difficult for my ilk is exactly my point. that's why i don't like the institution. no one asks the 16 year old in alabama if she really wants to marry this 45 year old dude. no one asks her questions because they're all citizens and her parents sign off on it.

but my missus will be treated as if she's just in it for a visa. d'you knowwhatimean? that being said, if i could actually benefit from it for the first time, that would be kind of sweet in a world where i've not gotten much from any government, and basically made it on my own.

sorry for the rant. anyway.

probably it won't help anyway and she'll just have to find a company to sponsor her. if anyone has any suggestions for international firms that might take her on and allow her to work in the east midlands, that would be awesome. thanks for all your comments, y'all.

but my missus will be treated as if she's just in it for a visa. d'you knowwhatimean? that being said, if i could actually benefit from it for the first time, that would be kind of sweet in a world where i've not gotten much from any government, and basically made it on my own.

She won't be treated that way though. The visa application is literally a tick-box visa. If you tick all the boxes, the visa will be granted.

The reason you provide relationship evidence is that they have to tick a box that says you provided evidence of a genuine relationship. End of story. If they can tick the box, you'll get the visa. If they can't tick the box, you won't.

Same goes with the financial requirement - they have to tick a box to say you earn over £18,600 and have provided the required proof. If they can tick the box, you'll get the visa. If they can't tick the box, you won't.

And the same again with the accommodation requirement. They have to tick a box to say you have suitable accommodation to house her in the UK. If they can tick the box, you'll get the visa. If they can't tick the box, you won't.

So, as it stands at the moment, you should be able to tick the genuine relationship box, and presumably you can tick the accommodation box... so your only problem will be ticking the financial requirement box, as your income isn't currently high enough.

Do you have any significant savings between you (including money held in a 401K), or any property you own that you might wish to sell?

If she is able to get sponsorship for a work visa, then you could either:
- get married and use her income to meet the spousal visa requirements after she has been working in the UK for at least 6 months... and she could switch from her work visa to a spousal visa
or
- she could live with you in the UK for 2 years on the work visa and then switch to an Unmarried Partner visa (which means you would not need to marry)

P.S. I saw that you mention your parents live in Lincoln... I live in Lincoln too .

No chance she has Irish grandparents?

thank you , that was helpful.

i mean, this is part of the problem: as a chef, which seems to be the best job i can get here,  in spite of having worked in theatre box office, theatre tech, movies, event planning, etc etc etc. the thing is, all the jobs at which i made a great deal of money in the US at are regarded as lowly jobs in this country (as a bartender i was making $35,000 a year in the US (the most i've ever made), and here i make less than i've made since i was 16 at that same job, with no possibility for advancement).

currently i make less than half of that requirement, have had a hard time finding any jobs at all in the UK (i'm 38 and have never been unemployed in the US for more than a couple of months when i was moving to a new city), to say nothing of making more than i've ever made in my life. i mean, i felt lucky to make $20,000 in the US, and that's not even £18,000 here. do they not take her earning potential into account at all? because she was making at least twice what i ever made.

if we got married in the US, would her earning potential be considered at all, do you think?

Everyone here on the forum have made excellent points.

If you get married and apply for a spousal visa, it will take time and nothing will be settled until after April. Even with priority processing it takes months for a decision to be made. It is likely, if you take any sort of spousal route, to prepare to wait to be together. I hate to phrase it so bluntly, but the process takes time. (Some  people do get hired on work visas but from what I've seen that's really difficult/rare) Does she have any English/Scottish/Irish relatives?

Like KF said, she must apply from the USA, so keeping her in Europe isn't an option. (unfortunately) Additionally, for the spousal visa (if you include priority processing +the increased IHS cost) you are looking at about $4,000. If everything were to move forward and you two had the money for the visa/got married/got it all approved and she moved here, you still have 2 more visas to pay for in the future. I think the suggested savings for all 3 visas is something like $10,000 over 5 years (someone correct me if I'm wrong).  FLR (Further Leave to Remain) and ILR (Indefinite Leave to Remain) come after the initial spousal visa. Just something to consider as you figure all of this out.

The financial requirement is very important, as the others mentioned. As Ksand said, it is a tick-box visa, so if you (the sponsor) do not meet your side of the requirements her visa won't be granted. What are your job options at the moment? You mentioned the struggle of decent income. I understand that frustration. My husband (a British citizen) juuuust made the cut when I applied for my visa. I just got a job here as a part-time barista (will hopefully get a career job soon) and the one I am interviewing for is salaried at £20,000 a year, which isn't bad for an entry level, but still lower than I would make/made in the USA even with the exchange rate. My income in the US was above the financial requirement but it is not considered, as they want to ensure that the person sponsoring the applicant can "support" them since they'll likely be unemployed for quite some time. (I was unemployed for 4 months, and I lived off my savings/my husband currently pays ALL the rent.)

Someone else in this thread asked if you had a significant savings/401k. Using a savings is possible for the financial requirement.

Regarding your disagreements with marriage, I get it. It feels awfully like you're forced into marriage to be together, doesn't it? I felt the same way. I have never been against marriage myself, but my husband and I were engaged for 2 years because we wanted to be together/married, but didn't want to rush into it. Long distance (3 years, engaged for almost 2 of them) isn't easy. I hope you don't have to be away from her for that long.

You made the right decision, coming to this forum. We can help Best of luck to you and your girlfriend

We are male/female and definitely married quicker than we would have if visas hadn’t been involved.  One thing I assure you, we all hate UKVI and their “rules”.

But as ksand said, it is truly a tick box visa.  You guys are 100% fine for a tick in the relationship box.  Nothing to be concerned with there.  Doesn’t matter that you are gay, doesn’t matter if you are red, yellow, green, blue, black, or white.  That box is ticked.

Work on getting the financial requirement box ticked and you two will be on your way to “happily ever after”.  Unfortunately the financial requirement is a big hurdle (for many many couples sadly).

We are male/female and definitely married quicker than we would have if visas hadn’t been involved.  One thing I assure you, we all hate UKVI and their “rules”.

Same. I love my husband and wouldn't trade him even when I am we're having a grumpier day together. He's still my best friend. But, that being said, we married a lot quicker than we would've as well if we hadn't needed to worry about a visa to be together. If we were born in the same country, we might have just lived together forever and ended up common law for all I know.

Total semantics, but aren't civil partnerships still an option for same sex couples, instead of marriage?

(I don't visit the visa board, so please shoot me if I am incorrect)

Total semantics, but aren't civil partnerships still an option for same sex couples, instead of marriage?

(I don't visit the visa board, so please shoot me if I am incorrect)

As far as I know, yes they are .

In fact, haven’t the government just ruled that mixed-sex couples can now register civil partnerships too?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

As far as I know, yes they are .

In fact, haven’t the government just ruled that mixed-sex couples can now register civil partnerships too?

Yes, and my husband and I had both planned to never marry, so would've done the civil partnership route if that had been an option.  But UKBA (now UKVI) forced us to go all in to be together, so here we are.