You know Jimbo, the male member in Rome was seen as a symbol of power, a ward against illness, and protection against the evil eye. Wearing a particularly nice pork sword worked in brass or precious metals was a sign of wealth and social power. Tallywackers would also point towards brothels and acted as a symbol of fertility. Of course, pre-Roman Greeks (and post-Roman naturally) were rocking the phallus imagery too. Somewhat uniquely, the Greeks preferred a rather prettily proportioned penis compared to the bulging pocket rockets of their Roman neighbors. The Greeks thought a more modest member embodied less lustiness. In other words, a big love pole was beastly. Maybe even before the Greeks though, the Egyptians were all about the D as it was a symbol of the cult of Osiris; after said deity was dismembered, his member was the only part of him his wife Isis never found. Don't worry though, she made him a wooden one so he could still make her sing with the old beef whistle. Concurrently, India was developing its own forms of wang worship, particularly associated with the lingam, a symbol of Shiva, a principal Hindu deity who both transforms and destroys. Naturally, southerly civilizations do not have a monopoly on worshipping the wily willy. In the Balkans, what is thought to be an offshoot of the cult of Dionysis celebrates the Kuker, a godlike figurehead draped in Slavic proportions of furs with an absolutely titanic tool. And let's not forget the Japanese. Despite what you might think with all those giffy censor blocks, there's an ancient and artistic thread of worshipping the male form behind those phallic pixels. For example, the shrine of the bodhisattva Kannon, the goddess of Mercy, in Nagato, is a destination for pilgrims praying to the pants bishop for fertility and vitality. Rubbing the many mythically mammoth members is said to bring good fortune. Kannon isn't the only cult of the sexy gravy injector in Japan; several high-flying harvest festivals celebrate the skin flute to this day. Even further into the great white north where a nice warm wang is appreciated, in medieval Switzerland heraldic bears had to be painted with redolently red rods, lest they be mistaken for she-bears. In 1579, St. Gallen's depiction of the heraldic bear of its neighbor, Appenzell, with an unfortunate lack of love stick nearly led to war. And where would one find the largest collection of museum quality trouser snakes in the world? Reykjavík, Iceland, where else? The Icelandic Phallological Museum contains over 200 perfectly preserved penises of various stripes, spots, and dots, and more than a few fake phalluses besides. And should you desire a keepsake custard launcher inspired by your visit - well, the museum is not much help, but Bad Dragon can always cater to the more curious cockly cravings.
